tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post5750629422721366107..comments2024-02-10T08:35:39.336-05:00Comments on Telling Secrets: The bishop and the cyclistElizabeth Kaetonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-37651428817101216232015-01-11T01:09:37.566-05:002015-01-11T01:09:37.566-05:00I hope that the Palermo family finds peace.
I hop...I hope that the Palermo family finds peace.<br /><br />I hope that Heather Cook triumphs over her apparent illness.<br /><br />I hope that Baltimore sees justice done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-17957899995557714722015-01-10T09:46:44.917-05:002015-01-10T09:46:44.917-05:00Another thank you Elizabeth. I've also been ap...Another thank you Elizabeth. I've also been appalled by the social media comments I've been seeing by "christians" that have a surreal sound of "Crucify her! Crucify her!" And I was further angered to read a statement by a retired bishop who had pre-judged Bishop Cook prior to any public release of evidence that led to charges, has presumed her guilt and has predetermined the outcome of a Title IV investigation (apparently he has no accountability as regards presumption of innocence from a Universal Declaration of Human Rights).<br /><br />While the evidence that has now been presented in the media adds to a presumption of guilt (although texting can be denied, I don't believe the alcohol level can be denied), we still are not a jury that has been presented with all of the evidence. I have to honestly say that while I believe it is morally reprehensible to leave the scene of such an accident, I can't be certain that the shock of it might not impair my judgement as well. I've learned that even without alcohol, the brain is not always reliable.<br /><br />I don't drink or text and drive, and I like to think I would have stopped and rendered any aid possible. But I cannot take the moral high ground without having lived in another's skin. All I can do is seek justice, require accountability, pray and care for all who have been harmed, and leave the rest to God.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-90501676702251027542015-01-10T08:46:30.685-05:002015-01-10T08:46:30.685-05:00Unconditional love of God. Unconditional. It's...Unconditional love of God. Unconditional. It's gonna get uglier out there. Heartbreaking. Unconditional love of God. Tragic. Unconditional.... Thank you for the reminder that all is never lost. I pray the the Palermo's and Heather and all affected can ultimately find peace in that life sustaining love.<br />Linda Hurley<br />SalisburyLinda Hurleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-19535053777661225552015-01-10T01:06:12.467-05:002015-01-10T01:06:12.467-05:00When I think about this now, I still feel sad beca...When I think about this now, I still feel sad because of Bishop Cook's future. She is going to lose everything. It appears she has an issue with alcohol, which also affected her reasoning. The light at the end of the tunnel is that she can get help, therapy, and treatment for her alcohol problem. And hopefully Bishop Cook can eventually be forgiven by the Palermo family, and hopefully she can forgive herself. God, in His infinite mercy has already forgiven her. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03525080477919236071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-77040008608690313102015-01-09T20:05:55.255-05:002015-01-09T20:05:55.255-05:00Again, I do not want to comment on Bishop Cook, bu...Again, I do not want to comment on Bishop Cook, but on the social sins we can let ourselves be drawn into. We've all been lectured by our mothers about not getting into the car with someone who is drunk. But that is not the end of our responsibility. We need to try to get the driver to give up her keys and help her find a way home. If she insists on driving, we need to drop a dime and call the cops with the license plate and location of the car. <br />It's a tough situation to be in but, the only moral choice..Anne Welchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07773939487916426557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-15632782672581372782015-01-09T17:35:32.299-05:002015-01-09T17:35:32.299-05:00JayAnthony - Yes, that was one hell of a fall from...JayAnthony - Yes, that was one hell of a fall from grace. It's all so tragic. She has probably lost everything she has worked for most of her adult life. <br /><br />Except, of course, for the unconditional love of God. <br /><br />I just hope we can also avoid sanctimonious pontificating and judgemental"shoulding" now that the facts are known. That didn't serve us well before the charges were made. They won't serve us well now. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-67911809801942463522015-01-09T12:12:28.417-05:002015-01-09T12:12:28.417-05:00The Baltimore Sun is now reporting that Bsp. Cook ...The Baltimore Sun is now reporting that Bsp. Cook will be charged with manslaughter, DUI (.22), texting while driving and leaving the scene.<br /><br />This is a very sad day for the victim's family, Bsp. Cook and the Christian community.Jay Anthonynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-91454630075262998572015-01-09T10:06:15.367-05:002015-01-09T10:06:15.367-05:00Julie - there are lots of places where you might b...Julie - there are lots of places where you might be able to find an answer to your questions about who is funding the legal costs of Ms. Cook's case. This is not one of them. As the waitresses at Ms. Shirley's Brunch in the Roland Park Section of Charm City are apt to say, "Give it a rest, hon."Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-63139376630949450872015-01-09T10:03:01.032-05:002015-01-09T10:03:01.032-05:00To be clear - because it is very clear to me that ...To be clear - because it is very clear to me that some people are reading what is posted here, anxious to find something to interpret in their own way and put words in my mouth:<br /><br />What I wrote in a comment above was this: "I never drive in NY City. Watching cyclists weave in and out of traffic - especially delivery boys - makes my head explode."<br /><br />I don't know how you can get from that statement that I thought Tom Palermo was weaving in and out of traffic. Unless, of course, that's what you wanted to read. <br /><br />That said, I do appreciate your calmer tone, Robert. I know you haven't changed your Very Low opinion of me. Which is fine. You have that right. You just don't have the right post it on my FB page or blog. You are a guest here. I expect better of my guests. Although, I must say, you seem to be going out of your way to specifically vent your spleen with me. I am beginning to feel stalked. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-54515221960854577902015-01-08T22:17:12.097-05:002015-01-08T22:17:12.097-05:00Catherine - Well, I think an atheist can certainly...Catherine - Well, I think an atheist can certainly comment on ethical behavior. I object to those who no nothing about how a particular denomination works asking questions which assume an answer which, of course, is really just a slam on that particular denomination.<br /><br />I'm not sure what is more annoying - that, or the fact that they think I'm too stupid to figure it out. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-40649357485158888242015-01-08T21:57:09.269-05:002015-01-08T21:57:09.269-05:00Yes, Elizabeth, there are people posting on this o...Yes, Elizabeth, there are people posting on this online that are openly hostile. I was insulted by an atheist who chose to insult my character. It is amazing how an atheist could make it to a diocese Facebook page just to do so. I don't understand why people have to be rude to complete strangers. You can state your views without being hateful.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03525080477919236071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-47656057806063033902015-01-08T21:07:03.307-05:002015-01-08T21:07:03.307-05:00George - As you note, not all the information on t...George - As you note, not all the information on this case is in. That said, this is beginning to feel like a root canal. I want due process for everyone involved, and I understand that tox screens and blood reports and autopsy results take a while to process, but the longer this drags on the worse it gets for everyone.<br /><br />Julie - I am not posting your comment because, whenever someone makes inflammatory statements and asks presumptive, inflammatory questions, and ends with "For a denomination that prides itself on social justice . . . .", you have really told me two things:<br /><br />1. You have either not read the Comment Code of Conduct above or you have read it and don't care. You just need to vent your spleen - which, I note, you also did, word for word, on the ENS news article.<br /><br />2. You are not an Episcopalian. You don't know how The Episcopal Church works. You don't care about the Episcopal Church. You just want to poke a hot knife into a gaping, painful wound. Not gonna let that happen. Sorry. (not)Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-3288464236591286602015-01-08T20:51:41.722-05:002015-01-08T20:51:41.722-05:00Thank you, Martie. Whenever I am driving and I see...Thank you, Martie. Whenever I am driving and I see a cyclist, I can feel my shoulders tense and my hands sweat - especially when they weave within the bike lane. I never drive in NY City. Watching cyclists weave in and out of traffic - especially delivery boys - makes my head explode. If there were a good public transportation in DE, I would definitely use it rather than drive. But, I would never be a cyclist. Too many cyclists have said to me that you get on the bike every time and remind yourself that you are invisible. Gosh, that's worse than driving a car. <br />Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-20850086365938172982015-01-08T15:12:38.236-05:002015-01-08T15:12:38.236-05:00Elizabeth, thank you.
I believe the period ...Elizabeth, thank you. <br /> I believe the period of time between a traumatic event and its "factual and legal resolution is a spiritual time where the Grace of God is available to fill the vaccuum. Without that Grace the human soul is unguided. We can expect almost any response from anyone, like the knee jerk, and other unintended reflexes. Social media would do well to think about this.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08713775013817357304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-45945248785819340022015-01-07T20:33:23.736-05:002015-01-07T20:33:23.736-05:00Thank you Anne and Catherine. It makes me feel be...Thank you Anne and Catherine. It makes me feel better about myself to know that I am not the only person in the world who is afraid to drive for fear of killing or hurting someone. I used to drive, in spite of having two accidents (in which no one was hurt), but since I live in a city with good public transportation, I gradually stopped. I think a lot of people would call me over-imaginative and a drama queen, so I just say, "I hate to drive."<br /> <br />(I must say I get a lot of reading done on the bus and the el.)<br /><br />Thank you again.<br />And thank you Elizabeth for giving us this caring space.Martie Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12194934692620240551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-59858791087354460042015-01-07T19:40:54.808-05:002015-01-07T19:40:54.808-05:00Thank you, Catherine. There are plenty of places o...Thank you, Catherine. There are plenty of places online for venting one's spleen or saying whatever you feel you want to say, no matter who it hurts, because, well, you want to speak "the truth" or believe in "freedom of speech". <br /><br />This is not that space. <br /><br />Sorry. (Not)Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-27083189263061953242015-01-07T19:15:45.425-05:002015-01-07T19:15:45.425-05:00Anne, I am terrified of driving because of the fac...Anne, I am terrified of driving because of the fact that I am afraid I would kill someone or many. I know I would be dangerous. I have ADHD, and am constantly distracted, and now I am legally blind. I know that if I took another person's life, I would would not be able to take the guilt. <br /><br />You know, it isn't our place to say she has or hasn't apologized. She will do so when she feels strong enough to face the Palermo family. She is probably very distraught. But that is between she, God, and the Palermo family. Instead of us analyzing this to death, we should pray for all concerned. We should ask God for compassion, and forgiveness. Maybe we can also pray for the Diocese Of Maryland. They are pondering a tough decision. God loves everyone, especially those who make mistakes.<br /><br />In 1987 my husband was shot and killed by his brother. It was accidental. The brother was hurting so much, I feared for his safety. The guilt almost destroyed him. He locked himself in a room and would not come out because he thought I would hate him. I was the only one who could reach him. He was so afraid. I let him know that I forgave him, which I did right after the incident. To see this big macho guy crying so made me heart ache. When I read about this sad incident, I picture Bishop Cook and know she is heartbroken. Hopefully, the Palermo family will one day forgive her. Forgiveness is a step in healing. Hate is a one-way road to self-desruction.<br /><br />Thank you, Mother Keaton, for allowing this discussion. It is a great venue for healing.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03525080477919236071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-87334485716786240942015-01-07T18:38:08.183-05:002015-01-07T18:38:08.183-05:00Thank you, Anne. You are one of the few cyclists w...Thank you, Anne. You are one of the few cyclists who has been generous of spirit to put into writing what a lot of cyclists are saying privately. What I keep hearing them say is: "I'm invisible. The minute I forget this, I'm dead."<br /><br />Clearly, we need more education for drivers and cyclists, both of whom are human and subject to distraction. <br /><br />Still no word from the Baltimore police. I can't imagine the psychological torture for all involved. <br />Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-63920906620882722472015-01-07T18:28:52.236-05:002015-01-07T18:28:52.236-05:00William - check the Code of Conduct. Then, look at...William - check the Code of Conduct. Then, look at the mote in your own eye. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-25353848704256461132015-01-07T14:34:53.206-05:002015-01-07T14:34:53.206-05:00I'm from Boston, not Baltimore and I'm a C...I'm from Boston, not Baltimore and I'm a Catholic not an Episcopalean. This story came to my attention, because I am part of the bike community here.<br />I gave up driving 11 years ago when my vulnerability as a bicylist made me aware of the responsibility I had as a driver, trying to steer --what is is--2 tons of steel?--through the mess of traffic in this city. Even a small small lapse of attention, like thinking of the groceries I needed to buy, could have consequences I couldn't face. I don't want to leave this world taking someone with me.<br /><br />As I said, I'm a Catholic from Boston, so I know what it's like to be angry at a bishop. That said, I agree with the priest who authors this blog: we need to examine our own consciences not Bishop Cook's.I can't believe there is a driver or cyclist out there who hasn't had a moment of relief after realizing that their carelessness might have endangered themselves or another.<br /><br />For myself, praying to St. Christopher or St. Raphael before I get on my bike keeps me more mindful when I'm on the road. <br /><br /> Anne Welchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07773939487916426557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-75241741701362782752015-01-06T23:18:40.952-05:002015-01-06T23:18:40.952-05:00Even though some of you have included your "n...Even though some of you have included your "name" I will not contribute to the social media "circus" by posting your negative comments. This is the time for spiritual and emotional maturity and rhetorical restraint?<br /><br />Don't like that? There are lots of places on social media that will be happy to post your comments.<br /><br />Thank you.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-20258989108200428832015-01-06T18:46:01.248-05:002015-01-06T18:46:01.248-05:00Matthew, I figured Bishop Cook and the Palermo fam...Matthew, I figured Bishop Cook and the Palermo family would be included in Sunday's 'Prayers Of The People.' Our rector was on vacation and drove from D.C. the day before and didn't get to it. I will suggest this to him when I am at the church on Saturday for Euchastic Lay ministry classes. I also think that this would be an awesome topic in Adult Formation. It covers topics like judgement, forgiveness, and grief.<br /><br />Sometimes we forget our clergy are human beings. We have hits ad runs almost daily here, and they are a quick clip on the local news. Since Bishop Cook is clergy, people run with the story.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03525080477919236071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-43238901120056692552015-01-06T12:04:24.151-05:002015-01-06T12:04:24.151-05:00Thanks for this. Many of these negative comments ...Thanks for this. Many of these negative comments make many of us feel unsafe in the church -- i.e. we've done far worse than Bishop Cook ever has so there must not be room for us, or only as marginalized laity. I've also been disappointed in the lack of pastoral response to this from our leaders -- radio silence -- not you Mother Kaeton of course but others, Bishops, the PB, etc. They don't have to get into specifics but just the kind of basic reminders you did. Given that the news has gone national (huff post) its not just a Maryland thing at this point. Here is one good contrary example to that but we need more people reminding people of our baptismal covenants in moments like this. Silence accomplishes nothing. <br />http://bishopdansblog.blogspot.com/2015/01/hey-mr-cunningham-reflections-on.htmlMatthewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16855171851801011788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-15566419851420942432015-01-04T21:56:40.624-05:002015-01-04T21:56:40.624-05:00There are lots of wonderful clergy and laity out t...There are lots of wonderful clergy and laity out there, people of deep faith, who can help you on the path of forgiveness. I'd be happy to help you find them. <br /><br />I admire your courage and honesty. God's peace to you.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-50825342212246829222015-01-04T21:52:52.342-05:002015-01-04T21:52:52.342-05:00Christine. I've been waiting 72 hours for the ...Christine. I've been waiting 72 hours for the personal attacks to subside and for the appreciation of the baptismal covenant to begin. they have. So, thank you. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.com