tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post75710852905783427..comments2024-03-23T18:50:32.902-04:00Comments on Telling Secrets: Internalized pink collar oppressionElizabeth Kaetonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-77324379143768138872013-04-10T17:48:49.835-04:002013-04-10T17:48:49.835-04:00Thanks for your note, Anonymous. next time, leave ...Thanks for your note, Anonymous. next time, leave your name, please.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-32414409098320048802013-04-10T15:42:45.035-04:002013-04-10T15:42:45.035-04:00Thanks for that post. The pastor was nasty and it...Thanks for that post. The pastor was nasty and it seems like divine justice that her abuse of a person who would see her as as representing the Christ and the Body of Christ would be exposed for all to see. Seems like she abused God, too. (would you be even less sympathetic if the pastor were a man, especially a conservative white man? Maybe I would be, too since I am one.)<br /><br />My mom was a waitress, my wife was a waitress, my little sister is a waitress, two nieces who are now RNs worked as waitresses and another will probably be a life long waitress like her mom. If this pastor or any other pastor pulled this stunt on them that pastor would richly deserve embarrassment and more. <br /><br />I worked as a waiter at what I called the Spaghetti Feedlot during seminary and I had my share of folks who were nasty. At my best I saw that as indication that the abuser was hurting and just taking it out on me; I just forgave them even as I internalized that abuse. I couldn't see it that way when my coworkers who busted their asses to stay in school, pay the rent, and feed and clothe their kids were treated like s**t. All in all it was good training for some of the abuse clergy get. Who knows, maybe I'll wait tables again someday. Maybe the pastor should give it a try, too.<br /><br />I'm no fan of big chain restaurants, but they are likely to be honest about passing on the tips to waiters/waitresses/servers/wait-trons/servers because "corporate" doesn't want to deal with the potential liability. Tipping out the bar/bussers/cooks is another matter and the waitress/waiter needs to observe the local custom- or face the natural consequences.<br /><br />Thanks for tipping well. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-32050676407415605202013-03-30T03:23:06.035-04:002013-03-30T03:23:06.035-04:00I worked as a gas station attendant (I am revealin...I worked as a gas station attendant (I am revealing my age am I not) when I was in college. I was amazed at both the kindness and cruelty of people--obviously not the same person. We were a community station so we had an established clientele. Many of these people were almost like personal friends, they would chat with you and ask how school was going. Then we had a few who would cheat and swindle some kid and think they were clever. "Give me 5." When gas was 30 cents a gallon and we made a buck an hour, there was a hell of difference between 5 gallons and 5 dollars. Some smart ass got 11 some gallons free, and some kid had to work three and half hours for nothing. Happened to me once, and I prevented from happening again every chance I got. These guys would see a new kid and try to pull that. I would yell at the top of my lungs thats gallons not dollars. <br /><br />My days in the gas station taught me a little humility. Everyone should have to work with the public for a few years.<br /><br />Great post as always. Sextanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02869179401767968180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-91280584775851134082013-03-25T01:32:56.631-04:002013-03-25T01:32:56.631-04:00Dear Elizabeth,
You know that I love you, but I a...Dear Elizabeth,<br /><br />You know that I love you, but I also love dearly that you write this blog. You say things that many people are unwilling to say. And I know that you are willing to hear things that many people are unwilling to hear. I wish there were more people with your veracity and spirit. <br /><br />This is why I've nominated you for the Liebster Award. You can read more about what that means here: http://takeitfrommeg.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/paying-forward-the-joy-of-blogger-award-nomination/<br /><br />I do hope you choose to participate. I would love to hear what you have to say in response. In any case, know that this nomination acknowledges your commitment to truth, love, and knowledge. Blessed be.<br /><br />Love, MegAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-55288455027474628382013-03-18T20:26:59.126-04:002013-03-18T20:26:59.126-04:00I spent a summer in Denmark and one of the things ...I spent a summer in Denmark and one of the things that struck me initially was how expensive things were, especially eating out, grocerties, not so much. Then I found out that Denmark has a high minimum wage law, something like $20 an hour and applies to all jobs including restaurants which explained why eating out was so expensive. Then it didn't bother me and in fact I wished we had a law like that in this country. It was nice being in a country without extreme poverty, or the super rich either because of high taxes and very progressive high taxes. The wealthy pay something like 2/3rds of their income in taxes. Republicans always counter by saying that it will destroy the economy, ruin the private sector, job losses, etc. But, the Scandinavian countries are doing pretty well in terms of standard of living, low unemployment, etc. so it can be done. The established church was also progressive but that is a story for another day. Matthewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16855171851801011788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-13795214653157985932013-03-17T16:33:51.867-04:002013-03-17T16:33:51.867-04:00Nancmcp - You are so right. I just learned that on...Nancmcp - You are so right. I just learned that one of the local hospitals has made it a policy that no patient will get a bed bath. It was deemed unnecessary. If they can't do it themselves, they obviously don't need it, and if they can, they obviously don't belong in the hospital.<br /><br />When one of the nurses protested, she was fired. <br /><br />You can't make this stuff up.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-63284095612701991542013-03-17T16:31:00.159-04:002013-03-17T16:31:00.159-04:00Anonymous - Excellent point. Please leave your nam...Anonymous - Excellent point. Please leave your name next time.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-8339928178073742412013-03-17T16:01:28.447-04:002013-03-17T16:01:28.447-04:00Really good piece. Thank you. I also tip 20%. My m...Really good piece. Thank you. I also tip 20%. My mom was a waitress. <br /><br />I think the current economy has made corporations a lot braver in running over folks while reminding them they're lucky to have a job. I just experienced it myself as a nurse. <br /><br />nancmcphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10437856843930160428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-11448062926206210842013-03-17T08:00:38.219-04:002013-03-17T08:00:38.219-04:00Marissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg have brought thi...Marissa Mayer and Sheryl Sandberg have brought this same cat fight into the C suite.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-77772845962485528582013-03-16T22:24:42.150-04:002013-03-16T22:24:42.150-04:00Marthe - I probably should have made a larger poin...Marthe - I probably should have made a larger point of that. All service people are invisible - except when they're needed to dump on. <br /><br />It is sad. Very sad. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-39880403729244414382013-03-16T21:24:11.244-04:002013-03-16T21:24:11.244-04:00Ann - On the face of it, it IS outrageous. I don&#...Ann - On the face of it, it IS outrageous. I don't have any more information that might change my reaction. Until then, it's outrageous. I think, if you work, you get paid for the work you do, not have to depend on "handouts". Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-10200379368223486012013-03-16T21:23:49.251-04:002013-03-16T21:23:49.251-04:00It's not just wait staff that are invisible (u...It's not just wait staff that are invisible (until someone wants to vent all the bad of their day onto them, because they can, kick the person perceived to be one rung down from them), it's cashiers and shelf stockers and doormen and cleaning crews ... all considered "beneath" and therefor fair game for all manner of abuse. Just being a reasonably considerate human being doesn't appear to be a value any more. Sad.Marthenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-37742985120689580532013-03-16T21:08:40.073-04:002013-03-16T21:08:40.073-04:00I am outraged that the waitress got fired but good...I am outraged that the waitress got fired but good for her outing the cheapskate pastor. Maybe people will think next time they try to cheat the waitstaff. I hope we go to the system in France where staff is paid an there is no tipping.Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07287169546184325690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-48666376766778965262013-03-16T19:44:18.594-04:002013-03-16T19:44:18.594-04:00My feelings exactly, Mimi. I think the firing said...My feelings exactly, Mimi. I think the firing said more about Applebees than about either of the two women.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-49442581912759799522013-03-16T18:37:34.235-04:002013-03-16T18:37:34.235-04:00Yes, it's too bad that the story was about the...Yes, it's too bad that the story was about the two women. If I were the judge who had to decide the preponderance of blame(and I'm not), I'd lay it on the stingy pastor. Come on. 10%? The waitress is not God. And shame on Applebee's for firing the waitress.<br /><br />Having said that, the waitress made a mistake to post the receipt online, but not a mistake that deserved firing.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-26012324840686021292013-03-16T18:23:26.660-04:002013-03-16T18:23:26.660-04:00I think most wait staff are simply invisible to mo...I think most wait staff are simply invisible to most people. Like many in the service industry, they are often ignored, undervalued and underpaid. <br /><br />What grieves me most about the story is the way the two women were set up against each other. That became the story. That's NOT the story. I tried to get that word out, as well.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-23089913692078413672013-03-16T18:09:19.012-04:002013-03-16T18:09:19.012-04:00Elizabeth, I tip well, too, knowing waiting tables...Elizabeth, I tip well, too, knowing waiting tables is hard work with low pay. Perhaps some people don't know; perhaps others don't care. You've helped get the word out. Thank you. June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.com