tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post9195551100154176920..comments2024-03-23T18:50:32.902-04:00Comments on Telling Secrets: The Transfiguration of the ChurchElizabeth Kaetonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-76462342773743046742014-03-29T21:16:55.733-04:002014-03-29T21:16:55.733-04:00Is everything OK? It's been awhile since your...Is everything OK? It's been awhile since your last post.Martie Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12194934692620240551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-52923786574985098642014-03-05T15:53:06.565-05:002014-03-05T15:53:06.565-05:00Hey, Margaret - When I was in Thailand, I met seve...Hey, Margaret - When I was in Thailand, I met several Americans and Western Europeans who were coming there for GRS. The procedure has been done there for many, many years, there's no judgment from the medical staff who have a completely different perspective on gender, and the cost is so much less than anywhere else in the world yet the physicians and surgeons are all top shelf and the hospitals are whistle clean. <br /><br />My prayers are with you and your sister, my dear. It's an amazing journey and we are so privileged to be part of it in whatever way we can or are allowed.<br /><br />At some point, I hope your sister gets to talk with Cameron Partridge - a F2M transperson who is an Episcopal Priest and scholar and campus chaplain at Harvard and BU.<br /><br />He has amazing things to say about the scars from his mastectomy and hysterectomy, comparing that with the wounds in the side of Jesus into which Thomas was invited to put his hands so he would believe. I'm not doing it any justice here but it's very powerful stuff.<br /><br />My prayers are with you and your beloved and your sibling.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-26189580073252998162014-03-05T15:36:29.195-05:002014-03-05T15:36:29.195-05:00Myriam - It takes a great deal of spiritual maturi...Myriam - It takes a great deal of spiritual maturity to look upon the cross and see love, but that's the shape of love, nonetheless. <br /><br />I am so grateful for those like Gwen and her family who are willing to make public their sacrifice. We are blessed. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-33482497650872577682014-03-05T09:38:05.600-05:002014-03-05T09:38:05.600-05:00Gwen, thank you for your witness to us all.
Eliza...Gwen, thank you for your witness to us all.<br /><br />Elizabeth, thank you for this post.<br /><br />This very morning, I have just returned from Thailand, helping my sister through surgery as part of her transition. I have been so very blessed to be part of this journey, and humbled by the work I discovered I still had to do --watching my sister bloom has been the greatest blessing of all. <br /><br />After her surgery, my sister wept in her hospital bed --tears of joy, yes. But also with some sadness --for all those whom she loves and misses that refused to accompany her in the journey --members of our own family. Your story, Gwen, was with us there in Thailand --your loss acknowledged. Your courage noted. Your family and friends prayed for. And prayers offered for the community you served.<br /><br />Pronouns are merely the tip of the iceberg in the shift of consciousness that happens --acknowledging pronouns is like Peter saying 'hey, let's pitch a tent here so we can remember and stay here.' There is So. Much. More.<br /><br />So, all I can say is, thank you.<br /><br />it's margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13577280471100732619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-34626483272548563242014-03-05T06:13:45.884-05:002014-03-05T06:13:45.884-05:00You have said it, Elizabeth, and you have said it ...You have said it, Elizabeth, and you have said it well. This is what Love looks like. This is Community.<br /><br />Gwen and her family are remarkable Works of Love.Myriam0815https://www.blogger.com/profile/00927262446442607230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-24553527677234449172014-03-04T20:43:30.870-05:002014-03-04T20:43:30.870-05:00Matthew - My beloved lost all of her hair a few ye...Matthew - My beloved lost all of her hair a few years ago. Sometimes, when we're at a busy diner or in a supermarket, the wait staff or person at the cash register will look up quickly and say, "Sir". She always, always, always, calmly but firmly and without any animosity or anger, says, "Ma'am." They get flustered and humiliated and she just lets them squirm. <br /><br />Eventually, things may change. Or, not. That's not the point. The point is that when that stuff happens, we need to gently, calmly, but firmly let folks know that a mistake has been made. <br /><br />That's my take, anyway. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-49907881883093976592014-03-04T19:23:18.748-05:002014-03-04T19:23:18.748-05:00I especially liked these sentences:
"Transge...I especially liked these sentences:<br /><br />"Transgender people open and expose stereotypes and gender roles assigned by culture, some of which are buried so deeply in our subconscious that, when we see them laid bare, it makes us so uncomfortable and embarrassed that we squirm. <br /><br />Transgender people, male to female or female to male, will lead cisgender people to the intersection of gender and sexuality, where, I think, all our images of God are tied and tangled in confusing knots of myth and culture and projection."<br /><br />Although I am not transgender I have had my sex mistaken more times than I can recall. It always stuns me how people look at a person for 1 second and decide they need to determine which sex they are (to use pronouns instead of "you") and how often they get it wrong, at least in the case of me. I end up humiliated, they are mortified at having assumed the wrong one -- how do we call of the game? Why can't we stop doing this? Just last week I was called "ma'am" on the phone. I am hopeful that transgender people will help us get beyond that because merely being gay has not stopped most people from needing to decide what sex I am. <br />Matthewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16855171851801011788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-70666774049498833562014-03-04T15:36:11.756-05:002014-03-04T15:36:11.756-05:00Hi, Sarah - Thanks so much for that advice about t...Hi, Sarah - Thanks so much for that advice about the pronouns. I'm definitely going to repeat it as often as I can. It's really true - if I've no known the person before transition, I have a much less difficult time with pronouns. I also think, as Kay says, it has the effect of relaxing you so you're not so worried about making a mistake and, if you're not so worried about making a mistake, you're less apt to make one. <br /><br />So, thanks for your compassion and generosity of spirit. As I said, it really does make me want to be a better person. Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-41708084377926458852014-03-04T15:33:11.003-05:002014-03-04T15:33:11.003-05:00Gwen - You honor me with your presence here. May G...Gwen - You honor me with your presence here. May God continue to bless you with strength and courage and perseverance for the journey. You know you and your family have our prayers.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-91128649051558029972014-03-04T15:32:14.878-05:002014-03-04T15:32:14.878-05:00Hi, Kay - I must say that I agree with you about t...Hi, Kay - I must say that I agree with you about the kindness and compassion of trans folk. The compassion and wisdom simply blow me away. And yes, we must keep telling these stories. If you and/or Sarah want a place to tell your story, I'm happy to host it on this blog. It's an important part of our healing.Elizabeth Kaetonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06787552280232329081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-10020472029181283162014-03-04T14:49:30.787-05:002014-03-04T14:49:30.787-05:00Yes, people will make mistakes with pronouns, so t...Yes, people will make mistakes with pronouns, so the advice I will give is this: To the transitioning person, your family and friends have the same number of years that they have known you to remember to call you by your new name. Some will come around sooner, so be patient with them.<br /><br />Sarah RiggleKay & Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04244257765709660605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-16432765448532189842014-03-04T14:39:28.033-05:002014-03-04T14:39:28.033-05:00Thank you Elizabeth.
- The Rev. Gwen FryThank you Elizabeth.<br />- The Rev. Gwen FryAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02328362064872955623noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29373297.post-48846581384352719462014-03-04T13:29:17.413-05:002014-03-04T13:29:17.413-05:00As Sarah began her transition, she invited me to a...As Sarah began her transition, she invited me to a transgender support group she attended in Tallahassee, FL. I went. I was a little anxious. I was scared that if I messed up with the pronouns the group would chastise me. I did mess up with the pronouns and smacked myself on the head and said, "when will I ever get it right??" The leader of the group smiled at me kindly and said, "you have as long to get the pronouns right as you have known the person." That immediately put me at ease. Transgender folks are the kindest most compassionate group of people I have ever known.<br /><br />We know Gwen and Lisa and the same compassionate spirit resides with them. They have our prayers and support as they travel forward on this journey. Maya Angelou says, "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." My hope is that being able to tell the story for Gwen and Lisa will begin to diminish that agony.<br /><br />Thank you, Elizabeth, for your part in telling this story. I am grateful for those who told some of the stories through Voices and Witness: Out of the Box, especially the director, Louise Brooks. The more stories of transgender people are told the less the agony will be for them and their family and friends as the transition begins in their lives. Kay & Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04244257765709660605noreply@blogger.com