Thank you all so very much for your notes of condolence and prayer on the sudden death of my mother.
The unexpected nature of her death and the swiftness of her funeral have combined with the intensity of the experience of Lambeth and the lingering effects of jet lag to leave me feeling emotionally drained and spiritually depleted.
I don't think I am yet fully in my body and soul. I am grateful for the opportunity of this day to rest and the promise the day holds, as it stretches before me without a set agenda, to begin the process of healing.
One observation I'll share with you - as dysfunctional as my family of origin has been (and my family originally helped to define the word 'dysfunctional'), we look like a scene from 'Ozzie and Harriet' as compared with the once-upon-a-decade episode of My Big Fat Anglican Family Reunion.
Not as much daily drama and no costume department.
I trust you understand and forgive my not responding to each one of your individual emails, voice mail messages and notes left here.
That's not a reflection on the individual importance of your notes to me or the significance of the solace to my soul, but speaks more to the state of my emotional and spiritual energy level.
The image of the state of my heart and soul is one that I happened to capture my last evening in the UK: Low tide at Whitstable at sunset.
I am blessed to know you and to have received your prayers and support and love.
Of such, I believe with my whole heart, is the Realm of God.
Elizabeth, I'll tell you what I tell a lot of my friends when I'm drained...I tend to have energy to spare...use some of mine. It's yours for the taking. I have more where this came from!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth -- I think that those with perfect mothers grieve them for who they were. Those with horrid mothers grieve the mother that might have been. Those, like me, whose mothers fell somewhere between have to grieve both who she was and who she might have been. Double grief.
ReplyDeleteIn any case -- one has to grieve.
At a time when you feel empty, may the Spirit fill you with peace.
ReplyDeleteI just found heard and I'm so sorry. You'll be in my prayers. Thank you for your witness at Lambeth.
ReplyDeleteJust think of it in your minds eye:
ReplyDeleteWhitstable at sunrise
Abrazos