Sunday, July 11, 2021

A whine about wine

Thus saith the Lord, the God of Hosts: “Go and eat your food with gladness and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.” (Ecclesiastes 9:7)

This also saith the Lord: “Thou shalt not drink wine from a box, for it is an abomination in the sight of the Lord. But for those who drink of the fruit of the vine from an aluminum can, such a thing is an affront to the Lord your God. It offends greatly, so as to cause the nostrils of the Lord to burn as with sulfur and is an affront unto Her countenance of Glory.” (Elizabeth 7:7)

If, however, thou doest find thyself in the airport in one, Charlotte, NC, a place of many men who do not know their left hand and from their right, and also many women and children, thou shalt make a sacrifice unto the Lord; thou shalt suck it up and praise the Lord for the fruit of the vine which as been compromised and compressed and sold in such as does not intend to honor the Lord but rather, satisfy the appetite of the weary traveler who hath been treated as chattel and squeezed into uncomfortable seats and forced to smile and pretend that a train ride would not be quite so dehumanizing and ever so much more comfortable, even if it takes longer and costs almost as much. (Elizabeth 7:11)

I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. So, “go, eat your bread with joy (and your white pizza with jubilation), and drink your wine (such as it is: “creamy yet clean, elevated by sweet citrus fruit and tropical pineapple notes,” (Ecclesiastes 9:7), but “watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you like a trap.” (Luke:21:34)

This saith the Lord, the God of Hosts.

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