Day 5: Sepphoris/Caesarea Philippi

The entrance to the tomb

I think this has been the most intense day of this pilgrimage which has been very intense.

There's an awful lot of information, most of which simply shatters all of my assumptions and the information I thought I knew as fact.

I mean, I went into debt to go to seminary and I always thought I had gotten an excellent education so it was worth every penny.

And then, I came to the Holy Land.

I've now got a much better sense of the geography. It made such an amazing difference to stand in the dessert and see Jerusalem on my left and Jericho on my right and realize that it was about 25.6 km or about 79 miles.

So, if the average, strong, young person is able to walk about 20 miles in one day, it's about a three-day journey for Jesus - or the Good Samaritan - to go "from Jerusalem down to Jericho".  You begin to understand why hospitality is so important.

I also understand a bit more about the lives of people who lived in the first century. First of all, there were no houses made of wood. People either lived in caves or they lived in stone houses.

A proper manger to fed animals - or for a newborn babe

I've now been in three cave dwellings in Jerusalem and Nazareth and I have a much better sense of where Mary gave birth to Jesus. The "inn" may have been an upright stone building or it may have been a cave-dwelling.  I'm told that people in this area were still living in caves 100-150 years ago.

Some of the folks I've spoken with remember visiting their grandparents in their caves.

So, the place where Jesus was born was probably a cave-dwelling, in the "upper room" where the animals stayed the night so it would be warmer there.

I've learned that Jesus wasn't placed in a lovely V-shaped manger made out of wood and straw. Well, no doubt the straw was there, but the manger was carved out of stone.

The babe was probably wrapped in "swaddling cloth" because that's what would have been available for newborn lambs.

I don't think I'm going to be able to look at another Nativity Set again without having to turn off and silence my interior critic.

And, don't even get me started about Christmas Pageants. It's a good thing I'm not rector of a church because we'd either have to do a LOT of educational work with the adults and children to re-educate them to the story or we'd just have fun and riff on it with modern characters playing the ancient roles and storyline. 

I mean, scholars have known this for YEARS! I didn't learn this in my fancy-schmancy seminary education which placed me in debt for ten years. And, I want to know why.

Stone stairs leading to the street

I've also learned that "teckton" is the Greek word used to describe Joseph. Somehow, somewhere, that got translated as "carpenter". Actually? It is best translated as an artisan or craftsman or master builder. In many countries, like Greece, that can mean either a stonemason or a carpenter.

It's pretty clear after hanging around Israel and Palestine that chances are very high Joseph was more of a stonemason than a carpenter. It just makes a whole lot more sense.

Does that challenge or change my faith? No. But it does make a difference in terms of my sense of biblical literacy.

I've also learned a lot more about the importance of water in a land which includes a large swath of desert.

Mount Hermon is a majestic mountain range that sits in the north between Israel, Syria and Lebanon.

Israel's sources of water include underground water from the mountain and coastal plain aquifers, groundwater from Lake Kinneret, rivers, the Sea of Galilee (which is a freshwater lake), floodwaters and now, water reservoirs. 

It's important to know this, not only in terms of ancient cultures and their dependence on wells and water for a nomadic people, but also in terms of geopolitical considerations in terms of how boundaries are drawn and who gets access to water. 

I didn't realize that Israel is really only slightly bigger than the state of New Jersey. But, within that relatively small area lie all three of the Abrahamic religions: Muslims, Jews and Christians, and all of the varieties of each of those three main categories. 

It's important to know because each of those religions also claim the right of divine providence over the land. Each one points to something in scripture as proof of evidence that God wants the land for them and not for anyone else. 

The entrance to the cave-dwelling

The bible becomes their "deed" and they own the "mortgage" free and clear. 

When all of that happens in a nation that is just slightly bigger than the state of New Jersey, you begin to understand that tensions can go from zero to 100 in less than ten seconds. 

I could go on and on but I want to tell you about something that happened tonight that just simply knocked off my socks.

So, we've been staying at the Convent of the Sisters of Nazareth. The sisters came here from France in 1855 and opened a school. That was their primary apostolate. 

They bought the land and built the school and the convent and were very successful and active for many years. 

A few years ago and for a variety of reasons, they decided to switch their mission from education to hospitality and began to renovate and upgrade their property, putting in new electrical and plumbing system and an elevator, and changing the rooms into guest rooms with one floor dedicated for their residence.

In the process, they were amazed to find a cave-dwelling right underneath their school and convent. It has several large rooms which were used as common areas ("living rooms") a section for animals which included a double feeding manger (see above), as well as rooms to sleep. 

As they continued to excavate and dig around, they also found a loose stone on the floor. When they rolled the stone away, they discovered below a crypt with an ante-room where the body would be washed and prepared with spices and then wrapped in bands. 

The dead bodies would then be wrapped and bound and stored in a catacomb that would be sealed shut. I'm told that it takes a dead body approximately two years to decompose, at which point the tomb would be opened and the bones removed and placed in an ossuary, freeing the tomb for another body to be stored. 

A sarcophagus fit for a bishop

There is an Anglican Church right next door to the Convent which also started to check out what was under the church. Turns out there was a tunnel that ran from the Convent to the Church. 

They discovered a sarcophagus in that room and when they opened it up, the body and bones had disintegrated to dust but there was a pretty impressive ring in the coffin. 

This has lead folks to think it was the body of a bishop who was buried under the church, as was often the custom in the early days of the church. 

Other speculation includes the inhabitants of this particular cave dwelling. 

Could this have been the home of Mary and Joseph and Jesus? We know that they lived in Nazareth and this particular cave-dwelling shows evidence of having been inhabited in the first century through the fourth century. 

Could it have been the home of The Holy Family? Or, might it have been a relative of them? Might Jesus have lived or played here as a child?

There is no way to know for certain, of course, but the possibilities are tantalizing.

Here's the thing: We've been staying at this Convent for two nights and we did not know any of this until tonight. Our pilgrimage guide brought us downstairs as a special surprise. 

I actually took the pictures you see here.  

I can hardly believe I captured what I saw, but I'm more amazed that I saw what I did. 

The catacombs where the dead were kept

And, that it's been right below my feet the whole time. 

And, the dining room abuts the place where the bishop's sarcophagus lies in state. 

I wonder how many other treasures lie hidden under these ancient streets. 

I wonder how much more I don't know that I thought I knew.

I really can't put words to how I feel, but here are a few:

Privileged.

Grateful.

Amazed.

Awed. 

Curious. 

Deeply, deeply moved.

Those are the ones I can most easily and readily identify and name. 

We're heading back to Jerusalem tomorrow, stopping by Burquin where Jesus was passing by on his way to Jerusalem from Nazareth and healed ten lepers who were isolated and in quarantine in a cave

We're also going to visit St. Photini the Greek Orthodox Monastery. St. Photini is said to have been the Samaritan woman who Christ visited at the well when he asked her for a drink. We'll visit Jacob's well there, where the Samaritan woman met Jesus. 

The living area of the dwelling

We're also going to stop by Taybeh, the only 100% Christian town in the Palestinian Authority where we'll visit St. George's church in the village. 

We still have 5 more days left on this pilgrimage. 

I feel as though I've learned so much and yet there's so much more to learn. 

My faith is strengthened and renewed by everything I've seen and every conversation I've had.

This is such a blessing.

There's lots more to explore and learn, including Sunday at the Western Wall and worship at St. George's Cathedral 

Thanks for joining me on this pilgrimage. 

I've felt lifted and supported by every one of your prayers.

Day 4: Sea of Galilee, Jordan River, Capernam/Beatitudes

The Sea (Lake) of Galilee

This has never happened to me before.

I'm pretty much over the jet lag but this particular Pilgrimage has been very intense. The experience of being here on this Holy Ground where billions of seekers have placed their feet in the same places as Jesus and his disciples is almost overwhelming at times.

When you begin to understand the physicality and geography, understand some of the politics of the day, and then have some of what you've been carefully taught shown to be incorrect - well, it's all a bit much to take in much less digest.

So, I knew we were going to have an early morning. Up at 5:15 AM, breakfast at 6 AM and out the door to beat the crowds at 7 to head to the Jordan River.

I was exhausted, but I had taken a hot shower, washed and dried my hair, got into my warm jammies, and, as I got into bed, I thought, "Oh, this is going to be The Best Night's Sleep in the history of Best Night's Sleep."

And, it was.

I woke up feeling pretty refreshed. I turned on the light and went to the bathroom. I washed my face, took my vitamins, combed my hair, brushed my teeth and then decided, since I hadn't heard the alarm go off, to check the time.

It was 2:43. AM.

That is NOT "in the morning." That would be more aptly described as "in the middle of the night."

I was stunned. I checked my watch, my phone, and my computer.

It was 2:44. AM.

I turned off the lights and absolutely WILLED myself to go back to sleep.

I'll tell you what: 5:15 AM came awful quick and awful early.

The banks of the River Jordan

Even so, I don't think even a full night's sleep would have prepared me for a day like today, which was full and rich and amazing.

We started off at a small, isolated area of the banks of the Jordan River where we all stood on the bank of the river and listened to the gospel story of the baptism of Jesus.

We then renewed our own baptismal vows.

One of our leaders then went down to the water and soaked a bundle of olive branches and "asperged" us real good.

I and another woman is who is a clergy colleague then were privileged to anoint the foreheads of those who cared to come forward. I used the same words God used after Jesus was baptized.

Making the sign of the cross with oil, I said, "You are God's child. You are beloved of God. With you, God is well pleased."

And then, one of our clergy leaders did the same to me.

I can't even begin to describe the experience except to tell you the facts of what happened. And, to tell you that there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that God was in that place.

One of the houses in Capernaum, near Peter's house

We were off, then, to Peter's house in Capernaum which was a real eye-opener on several levels. First of all, I had imagined Peter's house being made of wood. Because, well, Sunday School and Bible Books for Kids, etc.

Um.... not.

And, it's probably so that Joseph was not a carpenter but primarily a stonemason.

And, when Jesus went to the home of Peter, scripture says he "ran from the synagogue to meet him.

For some reason, I always imagined that he ran, not just out ot immediacy, but because it was a long way away and he had to hustle.

Well, really, the synagogue is probably about 1/2, maybe 3/4 of a city block from Peter's house. 

Which was made of stone, oh, by the way.

We were then on our way to the Mount of Beatitudes, where we read and meditated on the Beatitudes.

It was there, in the chapel, where a group of Orthodox Christians suddenly broke out into song, singing a hymn that one of them told me later was about the Beatitudes.

Chapel of Loaves and Fishes

The sincere piety of these folks. who had obviously sacrificed a great deal to be there, to make this journey, just warmed my heart and humbled my spirit. I discovered an even deeper understanding of what it means to be "blessed."

We also made our way to the Primacy of St. Peter's church there by the Sea of Galilee.

Which isn't a sea, you see.

It's really a lake. It's about 15 miles by about another 5 or 6 miles. So now, I'm going to have to start calling it The Lake of Galilee.

Or, maybe I won't.

Scholars have known for centuries that it's not the Sea of Galilee but rather, a lake. So, I can just chill.

We ended the day on a boat ride on that Sea of Galilee, which was pretty amazing.  The boat was a replica of the boats of that day, which was cool.

What was even more of a delight is that we got out to the middle of the water and the captain turned off the motor. We then read and meditated on the Gospel story of the storm coming up and the disciples were terrified and Jesus calmed the seas and walked on water.

There is something pretty amazing about being in the actual place where the ancient story took place and taking in the scenery as well as taking in the story on an even deeper level.

I don't think I'll ever be able to read or hear those stories again without remembering the images I saw today.

This is a very, very different pilgrimage than the Camino but it is every bit as powerful and, in many ways, equally strenuous.

Replica of ancient boat on Sea of Galilee

My Apple Watch is reporting an average of 5 miles a day. I'm blasting through my Move, Stand and Exercise goals every single day.

I'm half expecting Siri to send a message asking, "Everything okay, hon?"

We're almost halfway through this pilgrimage. Tomorrow, we're off to Sepphoris/Zippori, the Golan Heights and Caesarea Philippi.

It's expected to rain all day, which is wonderful for this area which has been so dry for so long, it has threatened wildlife and the fish in the sea and the lives of the people who live and work here.

It will be our last night in Nazareth before returning to Jerusalem.

As exhausted as I am, I am all the more grateful for this experience.

Thanks so much for coming with me.

Day 3: Judean Desert, Jericho & Nazareth

This pilgrimage day began when my alarm went off at 4:15 AM. We had a silent breakfast at 5 AM and then departed in silence for the first part of our journey to Wadi Qelt - part of the Judean desert between Jerusalem and Jericho - where we continued our silent meditation, walking about the desert as the sun slowly rose in the East.  

After the Gospel was read, one of our guides gave a stirring meditation on the desert as a metaphor for longing. He reminded us that we find ourselves saying, "I wish . . .," or, "I want . . .," it may be that God is speaking to you because that is the desire of God as well.

Or, as an old monk once said to me on retreat, "What if the desire of our heart is really the desire in the heart of God?"

A young Bedouin boy on his donkey

While we were preparing for Eucharist, we were joined by a Bedouin family - a father, two young sons and a young daughter - eager to sell us their wares - prayer beads, scarves, jewelry, etc. Like most "independent street vendors" they were pretty persistent and sometimes ever so slightly aggressive.

The three little kids - looking like something right out of a novel, one riding a donkey - presented a powerful emotional draw to give them something for their labors and get a little trinket and a story to tell in return.

Talk about being tempted in the desert!

Before I go on, I do want to tell you something that was told to us by our lead guide.

This morning was very cold and very windy - especially before the sun came up. Being up on the top of a ridge in the desert made us even more exposed to the harsh wind.

The person chosen to read the Gospel put the laminated paper with the Gospel passage written on it under her foot so it wouldn't blow away until it was her turn to read and then, even after the reading.

The adult male in the Bedouin family called our lead guide over and, with no small about of distress, said, "Look. She is stepping on the Word of God. That is the Word of God. She should have more respect. Stop her."

Now, there are many layers to that little anecdote, including an obvious measure of sexism. Clearly, the Bedouin are a patriarchal, Muslim desert people. 

A widely quoted Bedouin apothegm is "I am against my brother, my brother and I are against my cousin, my cousin and I are against the stranger."

A young Bedouin boy

The saying reflects a hierarchy of loyalties based on the proximity of male kinship, beginning with the nuclear family and then the paternal tribe.

But, the other truth is that, of the three Abrahamic religious strains, Christianity places a lower value on the written word - no doubt because we believe "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us."

I do have one other anecdote to share about the Bedouin children. After Eucharist, there was a good amount of bread and wine leftover.  I turned to the presider and asked if I could share it with the children.

I really meant that as a question of courtesy. I wanted to feed them, especially since they looked hungry. A secondary concern was that I didn't want to offend them by offering these young Muslim children something that their religion my forbid them to partake.

But, the look in the eyes of the presider revealed another level that I knew was there but really was not of great concern; that is, clearly, they are not baptized. And, we know what the canons of The Episcopal Church and the Anglican communion have to say about that.

He said, "Well, it's okay by me." And then, I got what HE was saying. I said, "I'm just concerned about feeding these kiddos. "Absolutely," said the presider.

Well, turns out, the kiddos were properly trained. They shot a concerned look at their papa and then declined the bread. Which was fine. I just wanted to make sure I offered.

It's amazing how many levels of communication were going on right in that one little exchange.

The sun rising on Wadi Qelt

Eucharist at sunrise in the desert is an experience that defies expression in words.

When they come to me, you'll be one of the first I share that with. For now, just look at some of these pictures and let the images sink in.

So, when Jesus told the story of the man who was "going down from Jerusalem to Jericho," this is about where he was when he was attacked and left to die on the side of the road.

We could see Jerusalem to the left and Jericho to the right. It's probably about a seven-mile schlepp - probably a day's journey, considering all the hills and valleys. It's not easy to walk in the sand, either, which would slow down your travel time.

I became keenly aware of how easy it would be to hide out in one of the deep crevices or around a corner of a twist or turn in the road.

The story suddenly became even more alive for me than it ever has before.

Then again, that's one of the reasons I'm on this pilgrimage.

I want to go deeper into the narratives of my faith. I long to center my energy on the source that animates my sense of ministry and take that energy into the work I do.

View from my convent room, Nazareth

So, if the preacher was right this morning, maybe God wants a deeper place in the narratives of my faith. Perhaps God longs to more actively animate my sense of ministry.

This is Day 3 of my 10-day Pilgrimage. I am in Nazareth as I write this, staying in the Convent of the Sisters of Nazareth. This afternoon, I wandered around the streets here, imagining Jesus running and playing in these streets.

When I heard a mother calling her son, I imagined that Mary's voice once rang out in this town, and Jesus obeyed her. 

When I saw women buying large heads of fresh cauliflower and bartering over the price, I closed my eyes and saw Mary among the women there.

This is a rich place to do this work of discernment.

This is Day 3 of my 10-day Pilgrimage. Only Day 3. Tomorrow, we head out to the Sea of Galilee, the Jordan River, and Capernaum.

I am awash with an inexplicable and deep sense of gratitude.

Garbage and Graffiti: Pilgrimage Day #2

I am officially overwhelmed.

And, it's only the second day of our Palestine Pilgrimage.

We were up early (5 AM) for an early breakfast (6:15) so we could leave by 7:15 to be at Shepherd's Field to beat the crowds who would be visiting a 1st-century cave there. Our guide wanted us to get a very clear sense of what it was like to live in a cave and deliver a child there among the animals.

It's pretty clear that none of the "nativity scenes" we have come anywhere near what it must have actually been like for Mary and Joseph to have delivered a child in a cave. There was no wooden manger. There was a carved stone feeding trough.

It was important to have that experience, under the earth, encased by stone before we ventured off to The Church of The Nativity which is where, for centuries, Christians thought was the site of the birth of Jesus. It is the oldest Church in Christendom, constructed by Constantine in AD 326.

You can see how the wall cuts through the land

The manger and birthplace are, presently, quite an elaborate affair.

It must make the angels who were there that night giggle with delight as, once again, humans get it all wrong.

Or, as one of our guides likes to say, "Don't ever let the facts get in the way of the truth."

In between those two experiences was an incarnation of another sort.

We visited the Separation Wall at Rachel's Tomb.

This would be the part where I am overwhelmed.

No words can hold the emotion of seeing that wall, cut through the land like a jagged scar.

And, the graffiti.

And, the garbage.

The experience was made even more intense by having that early morning experience of The Holy in the cave dwellings. When we were below the surface of the earth, I felt safe. Secure. It was only after we emerged from the cave that we were able to see the negatives and the positives of what humans have done to the gift of creation.

I was very much disturbed by the garbage on the side of the street. I finally worked up my courage to ask one of our Palestinian guides, in the most gentle and non-judgmental way possible, why there was so much garbage on the side of the road.

The separation wall at Rachel's Tomb

"Well," said Iyad, "when you do not have a lot of money, you have to make a priority of what service you want to pay. Palestinians in Bethlehem have chosen to pay for police protection rather than to clean up the environment."

I most certainly understand that, but I am troubled by the fact that the garbage is there in the first place.

Why are people allowed to dump bags and bags of trash on the side of the road? Is it an outward manifestation of anger? Or, depression?

I don't know what I would do if the country that I loved was not only walled off and oppressed but occupied by another nation.

What I found hopeful, however, was the graffiti.

Such beautiful anger.

Such an outward and visible expression of an inward and spiritual turmoil.

Such a creative way to deal with things that are out of one's control.

Then, there are the flashes of humor from the business community.

I loved the hotel named "The Walled Off Astoria."

And, the name of the coffee shop that replaced the Starbucks that left Bethlehem after the wall went up: "Stars and Bucks"

Let me show you some of the graffiti:

This is Benjamin Netanyahu and Donald Trump

"The legal frameworks on which the world order has been predicated since WWII are under unilateral attack." Chris Gunness, former UNRWA  Spokesperson 17 January 2019

"We know too well that our freedom is incomplete without the freedom of the Palestinians" - Nelson Mandela

There are lots of images of Donald Trump. One I saw earlier was of him praying at the Wall. The caption says, "Don't worry. You won't be alone. I will build you a brother in America."

"Someday, we'll all be free".

All along the wall are posted the words and testimonies of those who have experienced the oppression of the wall and the military state of occupation.

One that touched my heart was that of a mother whose 6-year-old son came home from school. Two armed soldiers had followed him as he made his way through his street that was now split in half by the wall. He had to walk all around it in order to get home.

When he walked in the front door, his mother said he was hysterical. He didn't know what he had done wrong. Why were the soldiers following him? Were they going to take him away?

As the mother tried to console her son, the soldiers knocked on the door. They wanted to know why the boy was crying. The mother say, "You have terrified him. He's crying because he is scared out of his mind."

The two soldiers looked at each other, smiled broadly, slapped each other on the back and walked away. The mother reported that they seemed to be congratulating one another on a "mission accomplished."

"They want us terrified," she said. "That's part of how they control us."

I couldn't help but think of what has been going on in our own country.

We have been living in fear for three years. We have physical walls going up on our own border but it's the walls that we build around our hearts that are the most dangerous.

The garbage I saw on the roadside concerned me.

The graffiti on the wall gave me hope.

As long as the creative spirit of the people is alive, as long as people who are oppressed try to control the narrative of their own lives, and as long as the resistance to oppression is strong, there is hope.

I never thought I'd live to see the Berlin wall come down, but it has.

I have hope that this wall will also, one day, come down.

Meanwhile, Rachel still weeps for her children. 

One of our guides read this passage from Ephesians 2:14: "For he (Jesus) himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility."

There are no words to describe seeing the wall, close up.

There is no cogent way to describe the destruction it creates in the human family.

There is a deep, tragic irony that it should be happening here, especially here, in the city of Bethlehem, the place of the miracle of the Incarnation, in a cave of rocks, deep in the earth.

Amidst the garbage and the graffiti, I have hopes that once again, in this place where "the hopes and fears of all the years" were once met in Jesus one Holy night, can be met once again.

We just can let the facts get in the way of the truth that God's love is unconditional, inclusive and beyond our wildest imagination, for all of God's children.
 

Palm Fronds and Olive Branches: Palestinian Pilgrimage Day I

Question: How can three distinct and different forms of monotheistic religion, all part of the legacy of Abraham and Sarah, co-exist in one Holy Place?

Answer: They can't. And yet, they do.

Muslims, Jews, and Christians all hold claim to Jerusalem. The balance of power has shifted wildly over the centuries, with Christians claiming the largest portion of the spirituality of the place because of Jesus, while the Muslims and Jews have fought over the ownership of the land for centuries.

One can not escape the political climate here. It's in the ether. It's worse than the political climate in America. Much worse. And yet, when you drive through the streets of Jerusalem, you would never know that tensions are often like dry kindling that any spark, or even just some intense heat, could set off into an uncontrollable blaze.

Muslim men and women wait for the bus standing next to Jewish men and women. There aren't many Palestinian Christians left in this place but they are noted by the gold crosses 'round their necks.

In the West Bank, Palestinians and Israelis use different colored license plates. Palestinian vehicles have green or white plates; Israeli vehicles have yellow plates. This makes it easy to see from afar whether a vehicle is carrying Palestinians or Israelis. 

The Israeli army uses this to monitor which kind of person is using which kind of road, and to determine which cars to pull over. Since the only Israelis living in the West Bank are Jewish, and the Palestinians enclosed in the West Bank are Muslim & Christian, this amounts to one color for Jews and one for Christians & Muslims: segregated license plates depending on religion and ethnic background. 

No one is made to wear a special color patch on their coat, but there is absolutely no doubt who is in control and who is  . . . "occupied".  

And then, there's the wall. 

It's there and under construction. Palestinians who live in East Jerusalem in the West Bank but have family or work or business in Bethlehem - a seven-mile journey - can spend several hours between the curve of the wall and whether or not there are a lot of detentions at the checkpoints. 

I heard one Israeli say, "Yes, for them it is an inconvenience. For us, it is our safety."

While it is true that violence had decreased 90% after Israel instituted all of these control measures, it is also true that Palestine, or what is left of it, is best described as the world's largest open-air prison. 

I heard another Palestinian woman describe it as an "incubator for terrorism."

My stomach did a backflip when her words resonated with a place of truth in me.

When the Romans occupied Israel, the symbol they used on their coinage was a palm frond. It is a symbol for power.

On the Israel sheckel, the image on the coinage is an olive branch. It is the symbol for peace. 

Palm fronds and olive branches. 

Power and Peace. 

Can the two co-exist? 

Palestinian Christians are doing their best to broker peace but even they are being forced out, slowly squeezed by regulations and . . .  "inconveniences".

And, any words of challenge or cries of protest are met with a charge of antisemitism. 

As I've moved about East Jerusalem, on the West Bank, I've been thinking about Sarah and Hagar and their sons Isaac and Ishmael.

As we passed Mt. Moriah (where Isaac was almost sacrificed), I thought about what must have happened to Isaac after his father tried to sacrifice him. 

If you remember the backstory, Sarah was unable to bear a child, so she gave her servant Hagar to her husband as the first recorded surrogate birth. She had a son, the firstborn son of Abraham, and named him Ishmael. 

Later, Sarah conceived in her old age. She, too, bore a son and named him Isaac. (One Rabbi with whom I studied Torah says that the name Isaac translates to mean "He laughs/will laugh" which is what Sarah did when she learned she was pregnant. My friend says that when the name Isaac is pronounced properly it even sounds like a chortle of laughter.)

Ishmael and Isaac grew up together, As Sarah watched the boys, she began to wonder about which of these boys would have Abraham's inheritance - the firstborn son or the first "legitimately" born son. 

Not taking any chances, she convinced Abraham to order Hagar and Ishmael into exile where they would surely perish.  

Indeed, they almost did, but "God heard the cry of the child" and rescued them from certain death by providing an oasis of water.

God also promised Hagar that God would make of Ishmael a great nation because he was of the seed of Abraham. However, God also told Hagar that her son would be living in conflict with his relatives. (Genesis 16:7-16)

Indeed. 

I needed to tell you all that background narrative in order to tell you what I think happened to Isaac after his father tried to sacrifice him (and, maybe even provide a bit of conjecture on why Abraham might have thought he heard an angel telling him to sacrifice his son Isaac. I can't imagine he wasn't beset by grief and guilt over the loss of his son Ishmael.)

Isaac is never again mentioned in scripture until after his mother dies. That leaves me to wonder where he might have gone. I imagine he was very angry with his father. I imagine he might have even been suffering from what we now know as PTSD.

A clue comes in Genesis 24 when Isaac appears to greet Rebekah, the woman his father has chosen for him to marry. We learn that Isaac "had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev." (Genesis 24:62)

When Hagar ran away from Sarah because she was being abused, an angel found her
"near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur." The angel told Hagar that she was pregnant and convinced Hagar to return to her mistress, telling her, "“I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.” (Genesis 16:10)

And, guess what the name of that well was? 

". . . .  the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered." (Gen 16:14)

It's just my conjecture - but when you do it with scripture it's called eisegesis - but I love the thought that Isaac ran to the other mother figure in his life, Hagar and found refuge there with her and his brother Ishmael. 

I imagine that Isaac stayed there with them and only came out to meet Rebekah and then only went back after his mother died. He lived in his mother's tent with his wife. 

He never saw his mother or father alive again. 

Such a mixed-up, dysfunctional family, right? 

So unlike the rest of us.

But, here's my thought: If the two brothers from different mothers in a wildly dysfunctional family could provide solace and comfort and companionship for each other, I'm thinking that there just might be hope that somewhere in the DNA of Muslims and Jews, there is a small thread of possibility for hope and reconciliation and peace. 

Palm Fronds and Olive Branches. 

They grow together in the same soil all over Israel. 

Maybe it's a sign?

We can only hope.

Integrity USA: "Time to let go"

I ran into a friend recently who teasingly said, "I can't wait to read your next rant."

Well, I don't think I've been ranting. I've been documenting.

Okay, passionately. That ought not to come as a surprise to anyone who knows me.

The "election" of the President of Integrity and the Chair and Vice-Chair of Integrity is scheduled for Monday, January 20th. The ballots are due back by 11:59 PM EST on Saturday, January 25th. The results will be announced on Monday, January 27th. The elected officers will take office on February 1, 2020, and serve through September 30, 2021.

We know that much to be true and factual.

What we don't know is the identity of those who will be voting. We don't know how many people will be voting. And, the board has steadfastly refused to provide this information.

Worse, they have offered absolutely no reason for this, leaving us with one of three possible reasons:
(1) They don't know but will work with what they do know, no matter how small.
(2) They do know but don't want it known because it's a very small number and they have already secured their votes (which would be obvious once their identities were made known).
(3) Their sense of privilege and entitlement is more important than the membership they are elected to serve.

I don't like conjecture and speculation, either, but when the board behaves like the boys in a smoke-filled back room, that's what we're reduced to.

I feel compelled to remind us that Integrity is a Christian justice organization for Episcopal LGBTQ people, families and friends. 

At any rate, all the positions, save one, are uncontested. All hand-picked by the present, non-elected (save one) board members. You can read about them here.

Bottom line: The "election" is a done deal.

So, nothing to see here. Move along. Right?

Umm . . . . wait. Not so fast.

What I want to document this time, going into the elections, are the responses from some of the former leaders and a few of the present members of Integrity. I think they are most instructive.

I want to note that there are no - zero, zip, zilch - voices that say, "Integrity is alive and well."

Neither have there been any voices that say, unequivocally, "We need to keep Integrity alive." The "supportive" voices - one surmises they are supportive, albeit a strange way to demonstrate it - are those who scold and admonish folks to "quit complaining and do something to help."

There have been a few - from one or two local chapters - who have reported the wonderful, supportive activities and community building going on there. They admit, however, that they are alive and well without any help or support from the national level - and often, in spite of it.

I am hoping that the voting members of the Stakeholder's Council, as well as the presumptive new leaders of Integrity, might read this. Since we don't know who they are, I'll just have to trust in the Spirit who moves in strange and mysterious ways.

What I know about the way the Spirit moves is that She doesn't wear a watch. She moves where She wills. You may hear a sound but you can not tell where it comes from or where it is going.  Or, when.

As Dr. King famously wrote, "The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice." 

I believe that to be true. I have faith that justice will be done because a grave injustice has been done to this once noble justice organization.

Just listen to the voices of Integrity, speaking with integrity.

The first statement is from Sr. Helena Barrett, formerly Ellen Barrett, who was the founding co-President of Integrity (1974-75) and the first woman and first self-affirming lesbian to be ordained by Bishop Paul Moore, Diocese of New York.

In response to the upcoming so-called election Integrity is about to hold, let me say this as one of Integrity's original co-presidents: The last few years have been an increasingly shambolic travesty of the organization Louie founded and I was honoured to help grow from its infancy. It is no pun but a simple truth to say that its mission, it's heart, and especially its integrity has been utterly lost. I am convinced that it is time and past time to admit IntegrityUSA is dead and to stop pretending anything else. We can end the fiasco while the memory of Louie's vision and our good work is still alive, or allow it to decompose in dishonour. The work that still needs doing can only be accomplished by something born from these ashes. But that can only happen if we bury the corps

Her statement was followed by one by Fred Ellis, President of Integrity 1994-98:

To date I have observed, and reserved comment. As a former President, 1994-98, I can no longer do that. It is time for us to sunset Integrity USA as we currently know it. Several of us proposed that prior to GC 2018, but were told the board had a plan. Didn't happen. We are now being asked to give it more time. Time has passed. It is time to move on, honoring our past. Hopefully a new group can continue the work that remains. Many of us care too much about Integrity to continue the current sham.

And, here is the link to an entire blog written by Susan Russell, President of Integrity 2003-2009. I will leave it to you to read the entire statement at your leisure but here's an important quote:

We are not "there yet" until there truly are no outcasts, until the full and equal claim promised by this church in 1976 is actually full and equal and until there's not a single stranger left at the gate.

And ... to every thing there is a season.

So in answer to all those emails, voice mails and social media posts asking for comment on the current "Integrity troubles" here are my two cents:

I think it's time to let it go.

Some comments were left on my blog. This from Frank Dowd, former board member and treasurer

Dear Elizabeth, thank you for shining a great big light on this whole wretched mess. As a long-time member of Integrity and a former board member and treasurer in the early 2000s, this breaks my heart, but truth must be told before healing can begin. Let us pray for the full truth to come out and that this much-loved organization may find healing and renewal of purpose in the new decade. Frank Dowd

Elisabeth Jacobs is an MBA who was a former treasurer. She had this to say.

Like Fred, to date I have observed and reserved comment. As former treasurer I was skewered right here on Facebook a few years ago, when the board fired the Executive Director. That aside, it past time for IntegrityUSA to sunset, I said it in SLC @ GC 2015 and still believe this. Work together to form a new group to move forward with the important work to be done. Perhaps a task force of members or past board members can be assembled to to assist in the planning stages of the new group.

This comment comes from Mac MacLeod, husband of Bishop Mary Adelia MacLeod

We, Mac and Mary Adelia McLeod, sent a check to Integrity and never received a response. Sadly, we now now why.
Thank you Elizabeth.

The Rev. Mac McLeod
The Rt. Rev. Mary Adelia Rosamond McLeod

Daphne, a former Convener in Tulsa, OK in the mid-80s, left this comment

Elizabeth, thank you for uour incredible service to Integrity USA. Many years ago (mid 1980s), Carol Burnside and I were the convenors of a joint Dignity/Integrity group in Tulsa Oklahoma. We participated in several national conventions of Integrity, and later attended Robert Williams installaion at Oasis. These organizations were life-giving and affirming to us at very important personal junctures. I am guilty of being someone who has "fallen away" from membership and involvement for many years now. I am nonetheless deeply saddened to read all that you have written in this and previous posts. Thank you for your commitment to Louie and to Integrity as we once knew it!

This comment was posted by an Integrity member on the Integrity USA Facebook

These past few weeks have been extremely frustrating. Since Gwen Fry has resigned, there have been hundreds of posts and comments about the election, and what does the future of Integrity look like.

There appear to be only 3 candidates responding and NO current members of the Stakeholders or board commenting. Integrity is in free fall with a severe lack of leadership especially in an acting capacity. One candidate has described his goals, but ron and Bruce only speak in platitudes, and generalities but they are missing the big picture. 

Integrity is still part of The Episcopal Church but we hear little about that with many posts from our leaders being about everything except the Episcopal Church. When leadership was shown that the shield violates TEC communication and media rules, Ron and Bruce scoffed at it and showed and absolute lack of openness and respect to members of Integrity and the Church. 

There are still dioceses in TEC where same sex marriage is not permitted and where Gay and Lesbian clergy are not allowed to transfer canonically. There is a tremendous amount of discrimination that still occurs in the Church today and no one is taking about that. I have been a member of several parishes where I was the diversity, where I was tolerated but not truly accepted ( at least at first) where over time I was able to change hearts and minds but each time it takes a little bit of me. I hear words like openness, transparency, and oh yes, process...… 

I was frustrated this week to see my parish advertising a seminar with Franklin Graham People are excited about that. Integrity is silent. In this day of such severe split in politics and cultures parishioners and clergy are suffering and don't care about process. There is a backlash against gays and lesbians in their communities and work places and the present leaders of Integrity appear to be rearranging the chairs on the deck of the Titanic. 

It's too late for process as Ron and Bruce and the present treasurer are in hiding.

Everyday matters. 

As elections are gearing up a strong voice in the Episcopal Church is required For all these reasons, I join the chorus of saying Integrity should be sundowned. With only 200 members, it a good time as it no longer represents the needs of the Episcopal Church.

And, finally, this comment was left on the IntegrityUSA Facebook page, in response to Ronnie Ward's statement of his uncontested candidacy for President of Integrity. I'm posting it here because it really does some up what many are expressing out loud and in print, all over social media:

Here’s the overwhelming truth, expressed in myriad ways by myriad folks, all of whom want Integrity to have a future:

We don’t trust you.

There are many reasons for this, most of them pretty darn valid. First, we don’t know you. You’re a newcomer to Integrity - unproven, untested. Second, you’re being appointed, not elected. That means you haven’t earned your position - it’s been handed to you. Third, you have given us no tangible evidence of your qualification to do the job of president. Fourth, every response you have given to questions has been either a weak platitude or an overt evasion.

That’s why we’re refusing to use the email address you’ve provided. While I understand your desire to address these questions out of the public eye, we can’t trust you enough to allow you that luxury. You have to earn the trust of the people you aim to serve, and you haven’t done that. Quite the opposite - your approach to communication thus far has been dubious at best.

Please change your approach, so that we can begin to trust you. Candor, vulnerability, and openness are absolutely mandatory qualities in a leader of a Christian organization of any kind. Your current approach is, very rightly, strengthening and reinforcing the distrust that your predecessors have caused.

We need you to be different.

Indeed. That is the hope.

It's thin. Very thin. But, as Emily Dickinson once wrote, "Hope is a thing with feathers."

There can be no progress without trust. There can be no trust without a leadership committed to transparency, willing to honestly and directly answer the questions asked by its dues-paying members, along with the acknowledgment that Ecclesiastes was right.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.

This is the time to let go.

May it be so.

Here endth the "rant".  (But to riff on a saying from the 70s, "If you aren't ranting, you aren't paying attention." Which is why this probably won't be my last blog on the goings-on at Integrity.)

The Epiphany of Baptism

The Baptism of Jesus in Epiphanytide - January 12, 2020

The Episcopal Church of St. Philip, Laurel, DE

Today we take our first steps into the wondrous season of the Epiphany. It is a wondrous time because the gospel stories after the story of the miracle of the very human birth of Jesus now very carefully emphasize the manifestations – the “showings” – of the divinity of Jesus.

Baptism for the Jew in ancient Israel is not what it is for the Christian today. Baptism was a form of ritual cleansing – a 'mikvah'. The Hebrew word ‘mikvah’ literally means ‘a gathering of water’. It is the word used in Genesis 1:10 when God gathers the waters together to make the seas and the oceans and the rivers.

A mikvah is also part of Jewish law which refers to any water or bath for ritual immersion required before various activities like reading or studying Torah, or for the forgiveness of sins. It is also required of a woman before her marriage. Essentially, a mikvah is a spiritual purification and cleansing.

While our Christian understanding of Baptism is rooted in the Hebrew mikvah, it is a bit different. Jesus has come to John for a mikvah, for spiritual purification and not for forgiveness of sins, much like a wedding mikvah. 

I believe it was a way to formally initiate his adult ministry. John had leaped in his mother’s womb when he met Jesus in Mary’s woman. Both were in placental waters; now they met again in baptismal waters.

Much like a wedding mikvah, Jesus is having this spiritual purification before he makes a commitment and dedication to his adult mission and ministry. Which is why, I think, he’s so insistent on having his cousin John baptize him. It’s not about forgiveness; it’s about an initiation.

As Christians, we have taken both essences of the mikvah as our Baptism. It is the ritual and rite of initiation into Christian community – our dedication to Christ’s mission and ministry. And, it is also about forgiveness of sins.

It is only done once and for one reason and purpose only. We believe that there is ‘one faith, one hope, one Baptism.’ Once you have been baptized, no matter where or how or even by whom, you need not ever be baptized again.

Baptism is an initiation – a beginning – of a new life in Christ. The mystery of our faith is that it is the beginning of our entry into a community of saints here on earth as well as our entry into a communion of saints who have gone on before us and those who are yet to come.

I don’t know how to explain a mystery. I suppose no one does, really. Which is part of why it is a mystery. 

I only know that I rely on that mystery every time I preside at a Eucharist – which we sometimes call “Holy Communion”. I also rely on that mystery every time I am privileged to officiate at a baptism. Or a funeral. Or any one of the sacramental rites.

I know I’m participating in something bigger than myself - something bigger than all of us. Something beyond what’s right here and right now. Something that connects me to this community as well as the one that surrounds me that I can not yet see.

I do know that children know it. They know about the mystery. They sense it when they come to the communion rail. I see it in their eyes. And, they know I know. It is our little secret about a mystery neither of us can explain.

I learned this as a young priest in my first church in Baltimore.

I received a phone call one Sunday afternoon from a young married father, with two small children. We had been talking about how Peter, their 4-year-old son, had been wanting to receive Communion. 

He and his wife were on the fence about it. Both parents grew up in the church when Eucharist was withheld until after confirmation. Would allowing their very young son to receive defy and deny all they had been taught and understood about Holy Eucharist?

Finally, one fine Sunday morning, Peter came to the altar rail and piously cupped his hands to receive the host, as he often did. I looked into his eager, pleading eyes and then at his parents, as I always did. 

Fully excepting them to shake their heads “no,” I was taken aback by their exchanged glances and uncertain smiles. 

Finally, they both looked at me and nodded “yes”.

I knelt at the altar rail to be at Peter’s level, looked into his eyes, and said, simply, “Peter, this is the body of Christ, the bread of Heaven.” Peter looked at the host for a long moment and then reverently took it in his hands, closed his eyes and carefully put it into his mouth. 

He kept his eyes closed for a long time and then whispered, “Amen.”

In that afternoon’s phone call, Peter’s father related that, on their way home in the car, their child suddenly called from the car seat, “Stop the car! Stop the car!” His mother turned to the back seat and asked, “Peter, what’s wrong?”

“Stop the car,” said Peter, “I have something ‘portant to say!”

Peter’s father dutifully pulled over to the side of the road and both parents turned to the back seat to listen to what their young son had to say. He remained silent for a while, seeming to weigh his words very carefully. 

“What is it, son?” asked the father. “What do you have to say to us that is so important?”

Peter sat up in his car seat and, at the top of his voice exclaimed, “The body of Christ, the bread of heaven!”

His father, in reporting the experience said, “He got it,” Reverend Elizabeth. You were right! He understands!” 

Now, I am not telling you this story to suggest that children should or shouldn’t receive communion. That is a decision that is not mine to make. That is a personal decision families must make together for what best aligns with their beliefs and values and traditions.

What I’m saying is that baptism is the rite of initiation that opens the doors to the Sacrament of Holy Eucharist and the five sacramental rites of the church. You don’t have to understand baptism, but once you are baptized you take your first steps into the deep mystery of our faith.

Baptism doesn’t make you perfect, but it places you on the path to be perfected in the doing. I love the prayer we pray after someone is baptized. The last sentence of that prayer is:  

Sustain them, O Lord, in your Holy Spirit. Give them an inquiring and discerning heart, the courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works.

Perfect people don’t need to inquire about anything. Neither do they need courage. Baptized people are not perfect. Baptized people are people who are free to be fully human. A wise man named Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

Think about that for just a few minutes. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. I can’t explain that mystery. I only know that it resonates deep in my soul as being true. And, because I believe it to be true,  I believe baptism frees us to take risks, to fail so we can get up again and learn something more, something deeper about the mystery of what it means to be more fully human.

I will leave you with this poem entitled “Anyway,” which I think beautifully sums up the risks and benefits of spiritual beings trying to be more fully human. Some attribute this poem to Mother Theresa; others say this was written by a young college student named Kent Keith. 

No matter. These words convey the Holy Spirit of God incarnate in Jesus, in whose name we were baptized. They are a manifestation, an epiphany, of God's Love that we are free to enjoy in baptism.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God
It was never between you and them anyway.        

 Amen.