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Saturday, June 30, 2007

Killer Biscuits

This one's been all over the internet for awhile. I understand it's an actual AP news story. Maybe it's the intense heat of today's Summer sun. Maybe I've finally gone right 'round the bend. Maybe I really do need that vacation. I just can't stop giggling over the imgage this story brings up in my mind.

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde and a Republican, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.

7 comments:

Muthah+ said...

Oh ye Mediterranean types that do not burn or scald in summer months who make such unkind comments about those of us who are fair haired. Such discrimination! But of course you too will be fair haired as you grow older, dearie unless you tamper with God's creation!

Matthew said...

It's totally bogus: http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Matthew,

Who cares? It's a GREAT story.

Mary Sue said...

Not only was it Snoped out, but the Mythbusters guys tested it and found it's actually plausible.

What I don't like is that it's a "stupid" myth, i.e. an urban legend that pivots around stupidity, and of course it's a woman who's the stupid one.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

I know. Me, too. But it is saved because she's a Republican.

Rowan The Dog said...

Snopes and mythbusters aside...I have no trouble believing that this actually has happened to some blond headed republican somewhere on the planet. And, if it hasn't, it's only a matter of time.

Very funny.

Lindy

Paul (A.) said...

"It's a GREAT story."

Not so much for us'n blond-haired Republicans.

But we'd not confuse a biscuit cylinder with an actual gunshot!