Come in! Come in!

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Top ten things pastors long to hear

10. Yes, of course, the country club membership is part of your benefits package.

9. I was so engrossed, I didn't even notice your sermon went a half hour overtime.

8. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

7. To feel at ease with the professionals in town, you'll need to drive this loaner BMW.

6. Can I be the permanent teacher for the junior high Sunday school class?

5. Just kidding about your job description including the janitorial and lawn duties.

4. Do you mind if I bring all the ladies in my garden club to church next Sunday?

3. Pastor, we'd like to send you on this spiritual retreat in the Bahamas.

2. Hey! It's my turn to sit on the front pew!

1. New furniture? Sure. Just put it on the church account.

Ruth A. Tucker, "Left Behind in a Megachurch World (Baker)
As it appeared in Christian Century, June 26, 2007


Jason Miller said...

The associate at my last parish really did have a loaner BMW from a parishioner! She finally, after a couple of years, had to have it back, and he had to go back to a Saturn. Poor guy.

Nobody important said...

You forgot...

Pastor, I am sorry I arrived late for the worship service, but all I had left was $20.So I had to stop at the Automatic Bank machine and get out a couple hundred dollars for the offering.