We already have what we need . . .

......... So, what are we looking for?

That, of course, is a Buddist Koan - a spiritual meditation which has been with me like an old friend during this Clergy Retreat.

We've been following Brueggeman's outline model of "Orientation, Dis-orientation and Re-orientation" as he begins to articulate that perspective in his book, "The Psalms and the Life of Faith".

It's a great model, I think. A model with its roots solidly in the holy ground of scripture. A Christian model.

It seems to me that that which we want most is also our greatest fear. What would I do, really - if I actually got that which I wanted most?

Would that guarantee happiness? Or, is it the pursuit, the chase, the hope, that is most satisfying?

What happens after you've gone through the rain and the sun and found that all of the colors of the rainbow were yours?

Would that be enough?

Or would you stop and choose just the one - or the ones - you want and leave the rest behind? Or, would you reach beyond all the colors for the elusive pot of gold at the end?

I already have what I need.  What am I looking for?

I know this much to be true: I am weary this morning. I realize the weariness I feel is from carrying around so many questions. Questions that do not, necessarily, have answers. Questions whose answers will remain elusive. Questions whose answers, I live in sure and certain hope, will be revealed.

As I write this, I am putting down the questions. I've decided that, at least for the next few days, not to carry them around any more.

I've decided that, at least for the next few days, to just sit with them, like old friends, and visit with them awhile.

Perhaps, in this way, I may not necessarily discover the answers, but I will learn more about them. And, perhaps, they will learn something more about me.

I already have what I need - including the questions.

And I am deeply blessed.

You already have what you need. So, what are you looking for?