Never has been. Probably never will be.
It's not that I can't wait for something. Life has taught me many lessons about that. Sometimes I've learned them with a sense of grace and style. And then at other times . . .well. . . .not so much.
I'm patiently waiting to start this new chapter of my life at Episcopal Divinity School. I'm excited to begin and, I suppose, there's a wee bit of "let's get started" that could find itself in the column labeled "Impatience".
I think, rather, I'm "patiently waiting." Big difference.
I want to savor each step of this journey because, before I know it, it will be over.
My three pregnancies each taught me something about patience. I feel much the same way now. "Pregnant" with possibilities. Longing to give birth to what is about to happen, but knowing that there's still time. Indeed, it can be unhealthy to what is being created to be born prematurely.
At this point, Ms. Conroy wants you to know that I was at least a week early with each of my pregnancies.
And I should like you to know that our last child was born 2.5 weeks ahead of schedule, mostly because Ms. Conroy would whisper into my belly, "C'mon! Hurry up!"
That's not where I have the problem with patience.
I do not suffer fools gladly. I have no patience with incompetence - especially when said incompetent person is being paid well for what s/he is doing.
I have no patience with injustice - especially when the church, The Body of Christ, cooperates with injustice or is, herself, the vehicle of injustice.
I have no patience with prejudice and bigotry - individually or corporately - and, again, when the church is not part of the solution but part of the problem. Especially when She does so whilst quoting scripture.
I have no patience with mediocrity - especially when excellence is the only effective response. Again, the church as institution often talks a standard of excellence but clings to the safe reach of mediocrity.
I can not imagine being a Christian and being in a long-term relationship with mediocrity, bigotry, prejudice, injustice and incompetence.
As you might be able to tell, I'm pretty passionate about this.
I think Jesus was, too.
As I've been 'patiently waiting' today, I rediscovered this wonderful poem by Maya Angelou
Seek patienceI understand what she's saying, but I don't want to accept it as truth, even though I know it is.
in equal amounts.
will not build the temple.
will destroy its walls.
There's a word for that: Stubborn. Here's another: Willful.
The trick, I've found, is not getting stuck in the middle of seeking "equal amounts" of patience and passion.
It's not an easy balancing act. Sometimes, you get perilously close to one end or the other. I know I've sometimes had to crawl back along the plank to get closer to the fulcrum, lest I fall off completely.
In the 'last minute packing' for Cambridge - coffee pot, coffee, power bars, just a few things to get me through the first few mornings until I can find a local market with good produce and moderate prices - I've been packing away little bits and pieces of wisdom like this one from Maya Angelou.
Intellect and wisdom may not share opposite ends of the fulcrum - like patience and passion. I know that I've done some very smart things in the past which were not necessarily wise. I'm betting some of you know exactly what I am talking about.
To quote from the wisdom of Piglet, "I didn't know I was being brave. It just happened after I panicked."
A word came to me in the midst of this morning's meditation. It was this: "Open."
I heard it as an invitation as well as a directive.
I think that's the only way to seek patience and passion 'in equal amounts'.
My intellect understands that. It's a wise person who can actually live it.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you.