Friday, March 07, 2008
"Press Release" from the Diocese of NY
Louie Crew has written a brilliant satire regarding Bishop Mark Sisk's letter about Honor Moore's book, "The Bishop's Daughter." Reprinted with Louie's kind permission.
EMBARGOED until April 1st:
This just in from the Diocese of New York:
Rt. Rev. Mark Sisk, Bishop of New York, has called on the Standing Liturgical Commission to expunge 2 Samuel 11 and 12 from the canons of Holy Scripture, as well as any subsequent references to the narrative therein.
"King David violated professional boundaries, and it is regrettable that someone decided to memorialize his sorry affair with Mrs. Bathsheba Hittite and her cuckold," Bishop Sisk explained.
In a letter to be read to all parishes in the diocese next Sunday, Bishop Sisk notes: "David did not understand the enormity of his sin. Look at the overrated Psalm 51, for example. In it the king says, 'Against you and you only have I done any wrong.' The king does not acknowledge any offense against Mr. U. Hittite or the Hittite family. Instead, he married the'widow.'"
Last month Bishop Sisk brought similar objections to THE BISHOP's DAUGHTER, a book he takes to be about boundary violations by Bishop Sisk's penultimate predecessor.
Bishop Richard Grein, Bishop Sisk's immediate predecessor, could not be reached for comment. While still the ordinary, Grein divorced his wife and married his canon pastor. The couple are rumored to be in flight to Aruba lest there be additional pastoral letters from 1047 Amsterdam Avenue.