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"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein

Friday, August 28, 2009

Weaving with tattered cloth



My brother and sister in law arrived late yesterday evening. Their daughter and son-in-law arrived shortly after dinner.

It's been wonderful to have them all here.

My brother has lost 30 pounds since I last saw him. It takes a great deal of energy to fight this dreadful disease which will slowly, gradually take over his mind.

For right now, he engages fully in conversations, but needs some direction to remember how to clear the table. He remembers things from our youth that I long ago forgot, but he can't remember how to sign his name. Or, drive a car.

He's 56 years old.

He will begin a new experimental drug protocol next week, which gives him great hope. I take enormous delight in his hopeful, positive attitude.

Right now, we are living in the now. Catching up before we decide how to move forward. Picking up the tattered strips of the fabric of our lives and deciding which to cast off and what to weave into a new pattern of relationship.

I feel richly blessed even as I deal with the occasional, unexpected onset of mild waves of anxiety.

Of your mercy and kindness, please shoot some arrow prayers over to Rehoboth Beach this weekend. Nothing urgent, dramatic or profound. Just a few, gentle prayers every once in a while, if you remember.

Pray that the strips of tattered cloth which we are sorting through may be woven into something whole, something to contain us in our relationship when the challenges of the fierce storms that are predicted in the near future come to pass.

Thank you.

26 comments:

Grandmère Mimi said...

Dear Elizabeth, of course I'll send prayers. How sad for your brother and all of you to watch the tragedy unfold. Prayers, too that the drugs bring improvement to his condition. My heart goes out to all of you.

Much love and many blessings.

whiteycat4104 said...

My prayers surround you. May blessings attend your entire weekend.

Kirkepiscatoid said...

It sounds to me as if you are doing EVERYTHING--and I mean everything--right on this visit. Enjoy these days. You will come to cherish them. There will be times they won't seem to outweigh the "bad days" at the moment, but as one who's been there, I can tell you in time, they will--it's just kind of a delayed effect.

Hugs all around to you and the family!

Cameron Partridge said...

gentle prayers going out for you

it's margaret said...

Dear Sister --you continue in my prayers as does your brother and all his family. And I pray that if the tattered strips of cloth are not enough to make something whole, that you stand naked and unashamed with confidence and without fear.

Muthah+ said...

In our day, them prayers were called Ejaculations! The nuns needed some spirital way to use that word. Ejaculation prayers are aimed at Llangollen.

Count your time as precious and hold it gently. Rather than "ain't it awful" rename it "what a wonderful way to be together, not too may siblings get this opportunity."

In one way I envy the opportunity you have to spend time with your brother. Let go of the what you had hoped for and live into what is and see God working her wonder in your lives.

Jim said...

He has been with you and your family in my prayers. I shall continue.

As you may recall I am a cancer survivor. Attitude is everything and it is good that he continues to hope.

Holy Luke, patron of healers, Holy Raphael who has healed, pray with us.

FWIW
jimB

KJ said...

Your brother and family are in my daily prayers.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Thank you all so much for your prayers. Everyone is taking a nap after a LONG walk on the Boardwalk at RB and lunch at Grotto Pizza - the best pizza on the beach!

We spent about 40 minutes in a Music Store, him telling me of all the various acts he's seen in his part time job (in addition to his full time job) in Massachusetts. His memory of things past is absolutely remarkable. He knew and remembered all the lyrics to all the songs on every CD we picked up. He was his most animated and confident self. It was really terrific just to be with him, talking about rock bands again like we were teen agers.

I'm also connecting with my sister in law in a new way which has been great. I am so deeply grateful for her steadfast love of my brother. Quite a remarkable woman.

My niece and husband are also pretty amazing people. I'm so proud to call them "family".

So, a gentle, relaxing (if not tiring), no-real-agenda time has been such a remarkable blessing.

I know your prayers are helping. Thank you all. From the bottom of my heart.

suzanne said...

Elizabeth, Gentle prayers are ascending for your family. I hope this weekend goes well.

Suzer said...

Many gentle prayers headed your way, Elizabeth.

susankay said...

prayers with all my heart.

Elisabeth said...

Prayers coming your way EK. I lit a candle too.
lis

Paul said...

Prayers sent your way, of course.

motheramelia said...

Prayers for you and your brother and his wife and for all who love the three of you. May your journey with your brother bring you many more moments of connection.

Karen said...

Prayers for all of you.

Two Auntees said...

Prayers are coming your way. I will hold your family in my heart.

Joanna Depue said...

You and your family are lifted in prayer daily.

Caminante said...

May you continue to weave a cloth with the threads you have in the now, knowing that the love you share is the golden thread that will hold it all together in a new way.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

It's been a wonderful day. Simply wonderful. Ms. Conroy arrives tomorrow evening after a weekend of EFM Mentor Training in Upstate NY. It will be good to have everyone here.

Both dogs are in bed with me right now. CoCo is on my right hip and Lenny is stretched out along my left leg. I'm not going to be able to move to turn off the computer and the light and get into proper sleep position without disturbing them. I think they sense something in me that I am not yet able to put into words.

Four-leggeds are like that, you know.

I may be able to write about this in a day or so, but for right now, their presence feels like the incarnation of all your prayers today - holding me close and warm.

Thank you.

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

What you have all said so eloquently - and prayers for you Elizabeth and your brother and your sister-in-law and your niece...

walter said...

Dear Elizabeth,

This is my prayer for you: Lord please help Elizabeth in what she needs the most deep down. Move the Spirit in her life as she is challenged my pain. And if agreeable with her, help her to turn the pain she seems to experience into creative tension and deeper love for all and everything she cares about. Also help me Lord to continue to have her in my life. Beyond human rationality, I feel she is a gentle, loving and sensitive woman and friend.

Walter

Fran said...

Dear Elizabeth, so many prayers for you all. I can't even imagine what this is like. Blessings as you walk this difficult journey and so prayers for your brother and his wife.

56.

God have mercy.

Riley said...

Prayers and warm hugs
for you and the family.

I lit a candle for you.

Katie Sherrod said...

Hold on tightly to your furry babies and let them love you. Hold on gently to your brother while clouds of witnesses are weaving a protective circle of love and prayer around you all. Lean into that weaving when you need to.

Magdalene6127 said...

Prayers for your brother, and for your whole family.