Come in! Come in!

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

It's amazing what you find when you "google."

(I think this was a neo-puritan, quasi-orthodox, evangelical attempt at humor. And they say feminists don't have a sense of humor!!)

Episcopal Bishops paid an undisclosed amount of money to Burger King for the rights to use the old Advertising campaign. "Have it your way." Including rights to rewrite the old Burger King Jingle:

Hold the pickles
Hold the Lettuce
Special Orders don't upset us.

A prerelease version has been leaked. It isn't final but the new Commercials show a diverse group of clergy dancing around singing:

Hold the Anger
We will discuss
Gay Ordinations don't upset us

Other terms of the agreement include the consecration of the character "Burger King" as a Bishop, and a joint statment of beliefs where you can get what you want at the Episcopal Church and Burger King. Being worked out is a deal that would allow the sacraments to be performed at all Burger King Locations. There may be some problems with this, according to a Burger King spokespersun, "Many of our owner/operators aren't Episcopal, so we are trying to work out how we can do this in the franchise agreement.

Along with the new "Diversity Campaign" the Episcopal Church has decided to air infomercials on MTV, and VH1 to show how hip and happening they are.

The new ad campaign goes hand in hand with the new Website of the Episcopal Church which will feature:

Online Confessions
Online Ordinations
Online Confirmations
Online Baptisms
Online Marriages

"We are working hard to make ourselves accessible to all," said an unnamed Episcopal spokespersun. "We are really working hard on the new translation of the Bible called 'God's word for Today' which will be an updated piece where we will remove all passages that are offensive to anyone. Rest assured you will feel at home in the Episcopal Church because we don't want to make anyone feel unwelcome."

When asked how they were going to work with the conservatives, the spokesperson said "Well, it is really hard to deal with those hateful, scripture quoting baboons. We hope that they will see the light and come out and realize that scripture really only means what we think it means. You know, we are dealing with the Holy Spirit here, and the third persun of the Trinity can't be constrained by scripture."

When asked if their attitude made the Conservative faction feel unwelcome, the spokespersun only shrugged their shoulders and said that the conservatives would just have to deal with it, and not let the church door hit them on the butts as they leave.

Posted: Mon - November 3, 2003 at 08:04 AM Views and Thoughts from an Expagan Apologetics Previous Next Feedback


MadPriest said...

It's not one of mine. But I'd have run with it. It's good quality, and good quality is good quality even if it comes from bad quality people. (possibly)

Ann said...

Call them Joy Meals -- little cups of wine (white or red or grape juice) with a wafer (white,wheat or gluten free)all hermeneutically sealed. You can get them at Sermons could be printed on the napkins. A little action figure - Mary, Peter, Jesus - collect the whole set - could be included.

marnanel said...

What's with the "persun"?