Thursday, May 29, 2008
Okay, I'm nervous
Newark Bear's Stadium, Newark, NJ.
Right after the St. Paul's choir sings the National Anthem and the Director of the Choir receives the check from the Manager of the Newark Bears for our fundraising efforts, the rector of The Episcopal Church of St. Paul, Chatham, (that would be moi) gets to throw the opening pitch.
I've been practicing for two weeks.
There was a pitching clinic at the church two Sundays ago. It was raining so we moved our location from the ball field outside the church parking lot to the Parish Hall.
My junior warden (bless his heart), squatted down with the glove in front of his chest. Pointing at his nose, he kept repeating, "Aim the ball right here. Don't listen to them. Aim the ball right here."
Meanwhile, a whole host of men who absolutely have my best interest at heart kept yelling out their best advice.
"Hold the ball with three fingers and your thumb."
"Don't push it, throw it."
"Put a little spit on your fingers."
Meanwhile, my junior warden (bless his heart) kept saying, "Don't listen to them. Look at me." Pointing to his nose, he kept repeating, "Aim the ball right here."
So, I took his advice. And, by George, I'm actually getting pretty good.
I never hit his nose, but I threw the ball 36 feet with power, speed and (thanks be to God), accuracy.
And, I didn't break a window.
It's 60 feet from the pitcher's mound to the batter's plate.
I'm more than half way there.
And, even Ms. Conroy says that my form is damn near perfect.
That's because I've been watching Pedro Martinez.
Okay, okay. So, now he's pitching for the Mets.
At least it's not the Yankees.
Pray for me, a sinner.
(Sorry. All the tickets are sold out. You'll have to watch it on C-span.)
P.S. If you want information about a really fun and easy way to make money for one of your church's ministries, don't hesitate to call.