Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The (Other) Kiss
Okay - I'm putting out an APB - All Points Bulletin - for a picture of "The Kiss" between Mrs. Bird and me.
There's a rumor circulating that one may not exist - something about weak batteries in the flash. Someone else said we moved too fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, this was an historical moment. Better than Madonna and Brittany on MTV. Swear. I've got YouTube and TMZ on the line, willing to pay BIG BUCKS for a copy.
I mean, we could use the money to fund our next meeting at our 'mother church' - St. Francis in Newcastle upon Tyne - in June of next year.
Why June, 2008? Well, that's Lambeth, of course! Yes, dear hearts, there will always be an England and, despite what "Akinola and the Alphabet Soup Gang" are proposing, there will always be a Lambeth - well, at least once every decade.
The presence of North American Convocation of the Most Holy Order of OCICBW would make a fabulous addition to the Lambeth Conference, don't you think? All that creative, mad energy in one place is bound to lighten the atmosphere and help those poor, benighted purple-shirted clerics get their minds out of our bedrooms and help to lower the "ick-factor".
Gosh, with that out of the way, they might actually get some theological thinking done. Whaddya think?
Or, we could use the money to feed a small, struggling country for a year. Whichever we felt a more appropriate use of funds gained in this manner.
So, c'mon. Give it up
Besides, you don't want that picture to fall into the hands of Maddy. You know his addiction to PhotoShop. It brings out the worst in him.
Just look at what he did to this lovely picture of the even more lovely "Reverend Boy" holding court! He's impossible!
And, you know The Bullies would love to parade that around to throw a few more stones at me (As some of us discussed last night, I do hold the all time record for stoning. Blessings on the one who said that the children's rhyme, "Sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me," was written just for me.)
If there is a copy (and Fr. Jake suspects there is not, citing what he calls 'divine intervention' but I know for certain that Bette Midler was NOT anywhere in sight) please mail it to me posthaste.
My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, Blessed Ms. Conroy thanks you . . . .