A sad day.

 

Good Monday morning, comrades and pilgrims on The Way and those who are along because they are curious.

According to the calendar, Winter has not yet arrived but there can be little doubt in anyone's mind that it is on its way.

Today is a sad day for me. It comes around and happens every year. And, every year, I'm not ready for it. I keep thinking, silly me, that it will get better.

I know better. But, here we are. Again. Anyway.

Jaime. Her name is Jaime. She was my firstborn. Today is the 20th anniversary of her death.

It is still unbelievable to me.

I really need - want - to say that. To acknowledge that loss. This sadness. I really have no other words that I need - want - to share on social media.

Except, I do want to say that I named her Jaime and spelled it that way because she was named after her father, James, whose birthday it is today.

I really wanted to spell her name J'aime (French: I love) but decided against it because I didn't want to make life any more difficult than it has to be when you start off in a large public elementary school that has little tolerance for individuality.

Except, I do want to say that while I miss her every day, my heart is filled with love and gratitude - full measure, pressed down and overflowing - for every single minute of every single day of the very short time she was with us.

I think these words written by LR Knost express where I am better than anything I could write.

I plan to head out to the storage shed to find the bin that contains the Christmas bed linens, the Christmas shower curtain and bath mats. I also need to find the big Christmas wreath. When it warms up, I'll take the puppies out for a stroll.

It's a day for self-care and prayer, gratitude and love.

I hope something good happens to you today.

Bom dia.