Religious Identity: Back to The Garden

Sometimes, random things connect in a certain way and then, suddenly, things just begin to "click".

It began with this little 'blurb' in the Century Marks section of November 17th issue of The Christian Century, which lead to a link reporting the full story.

Atheism schism: A rift is growing in the atheist community (see news story in this issue). On the one side are the militant "new atheists" like Christopher Hitchens, who claim that religion should be treated "with ridicule, hatred and contempt." On the other side are old school atheists like Paul Kurtz, who founded the Center for Inquiry 30 years ago to provide an alternative to religion. Kurtz builds alliances with religious groups on issues like addressing climate change and opposing the teaching of creationism in public schools. Kurtz says he was ousted as director of the center in a "palace coup" a year ago. "I consider them atheist fundamentalists," Kurtz says of his atheist opponents ("Morning Edition," October 19, NPR).

'Atheist fundamentalists'?

Really?

Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it?

Later that afternoon, I was reading the November 16th issue of TIME magazine, deeply engrossed in the article about Hillary Clinton.

When I turned the page, I was not expecting the following article: "A Tale of Two Priests," which began with this quote:

The leaders of the Roman Catholic Church traditionally couch even the harshest disagreements in decorous, ecclesiastical language. But it didn't take a decoder ring to figure out what Rome-based Archbishop Raymond Burke meant in a late-September address when he charged Boston Cardinal Seán O'Malley with being under the influence of Satan, "the father of lies."

Well, there it is, then. I could hardly believe my eyes. Dueling Prelates in Purple, locked in mortal rhetorical combat? And they weren't Anglican?

He had my attention at 'Satan'.

You'll never guess the reason for the Archbishop's outburst at the Cardinal. No you won't. Honest. As ugly as things have gotten in the Anglican Communion, this one takes First Prize in the Ugly Religious Rhetoric Contest.

Okay, I'll tell you. Archbishop Burke was commenting on Cardinal O'Malley's decision to permit - and preside over - a funeral Mass for the late Senator Ted Kennedy.

I am not making this up.

Apparently, he and "right-wing Catholics" lobbied the Boston archdiocese to refuse the Kennedy family a church funeral, questioning whether the Senator should even be described as a Catholic because of his support for abortion rights and his rather "checkered" life history.

Robert Royal of the "Faith & Reason Institute" (which sounds like it could be Anglican, right? Not!) called O'Malley's decision to go ahead with the Mass a "grave scandal" on par with the sexual abuse crisis.

Can you believe that? From someone who calls himself 'Christian'?

After visiting the FRI website and reading their Statement of Purpose, I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised at that level of vitriol. Their "purpose" reads very much like Rome's version of the Institute on Religion and Democracy.

Go ahead. Click on the link and read what they have to say. You'll be amazed at the similarities in the rhetoric of FRI and the IRD.

Lest you think that all Roman Catholics have gone over the edge, let me hasten to reprint this quote from the article:

When told of the archbishop's assertion that pro-choice Catholics should not be permitted funeral rites, Princeton professor Robert George was taken aback: "That's a very different, and obviously graver, claim than that with which I would have sympathy. I haven't heard before any bishop say that pro-abortion politicians should not be given a Catholic funeral."

Mind you, Cardinal O'Malley could never be mistaken for a liberal. He is a conservative on matters of doctrine, and for the past few years, he has been the face of the church's opposition to Massachusetts' marriage equality laws.

Even so, O'Malley didn't flinch. In a September 2 post on his blog - he's apparently the ONLY Cardinal with a blog - O'Malley wrote,

"In the strongest terms I disagree" with those who believe Kennedy did not deserve a funeral Mass. "We will not change hearts by turning away from people in their time of need and when they are experiencing grief," he continued. "At times, even in the Church, zeal can lead people to issue harsh judgments and impute the worst motives to one another. These attitudes and practices do irreparable damage to the communion of the Church."

Archbishop Burke, who could never be accused of being a shrinking violet, fired back. According to TIME,

At a September 18 dinner in Washington sponsored by the conservative media outlet Inside Catholic, Burke declared that "neither Holy Communion nor funeral rites should be administered to "pro choice politicians." The audience gave Burke a prolonged standing ovation.

It was this observation, however, from TIME reporter, Amy Sullivan, that suddenly gave off a loud cosmic "click":

"The debate nominally centers on the question of how to deal with politicians who support abortion rights. Burke and others who believe a Catholic's position on abortion trumps all other teachings have faced off against those who take a more holistic view of the faith. (Okay - here it comes -)But at the core, the divide is over who decides what it means to be Catholic."

The sound you just heard was something in the cosmos clicking something in the inner recesses of your brain.

Hmmmm . . . . . Do da name Robert Duncan strike a familiar note?

Just this past Sunday, there was an interview with Himself in the New York Times Magazine section entitled, "Is this Bishop Catholic?"

Well, if you use Archbishop Burke's standard of saying embarrassing things about yourself in print, then Bob Duncan affirmatively answers the question.

After demurring from the label 'Ultraright' by saying "I wouldn’t characterize us as ultraright. We don’t beat up folks. We are sort of mainstream right, " (Yes, that's a direct quote! See also: You can't make this stuff up), he presents us with one of the most amazing displays of hubris I've ever seen from a cleric - well, in print, anyway.

TIMES: We should point out that you were deposed from ministry of the Episcopal Church by the presiding bishop, Katharine Jefferts Schori, after you threatened to have your diocese in Pittsburgh secede.

DUNCAN: That was a year ago, but what’s interesting is that virtually no one in the Anglican world accepted that sentence. Within two weeks of being deposed, I was received at Lambeth Palace in London by the archbishop of Canterbury, who continues to consider me a bishop.

Oh, for Pity's sake! Can you believe this? The man has tea with Poppa and all is right with the world?!?! The Archbishop of Canterbury 'continues to consider me a bishop'. Mind you, the ABC has never said that publicly.

Hmmm . . . Wait - isn't Duncan an ARCHBISHOP?? So, if the ABC considers him a bishop, does that mean . . . . .?

Oh, never mind. It's all so silly, anyway. The sight of white haired old men, standing around in full length purple dresses, big old pieces of ornate jewelry around their necks, calling each other "Father" has always weirded me out.

You must check out the thinly veiled sexism in this exchange:

TIMES: Bishop Schori heads the Episcopal Church in this country, and you opposed her election in 2006?
DUNCAN: She was the least qualified, the least experienced, of the candidates, but I hoped that what she would bring if she were elected was the kind of grace that women often bring. She turned out to be far harder, far less willing to bend or compromise, than any of the men.

Oh, but wait - there's more:

TIMES: What was your childhood like?
DUNCAN:My family knew a lot of turmoil, and there were a lot of things that happened in the house that were very unhappy. My mother was emotionally disturbed. She was a very difficult person. There were times when I was not sure I’d wake up in the morning because of her violence.

TIMES: And your father?
DUNCAN: He just died last week.

TIMES: I’m sorry. Were you close to him?
DUNCAN: Again, not greatly close to him. I tried to be a faithful son. He didn’t know how to handle my mother.

See above quote about the Presiding Bishop. You won't even break a sweat connecting those dots.

Why am I not surprised that we haven't seen anything about this interview over on the Far Right, uber-Orthodox blogs?

But, here's the money quote from Duncan, responding to a question about the lawsuits brought about by the Episcopal Diocese of Pittsburgh to take rightful control of the property and the buildings which the ACNA now occupies:

They may get the stuff, but we’ll get the souls.
They may get the past, but we’ve got the future.

The loud cosmic 'click' you just heard happened when you put together the above quote with the article about the Atheists and the one about the Roman Catholic Church.

At the core, the battle is over who decides identity. From the Atheists to the Anglicans and down the Tiber to Rome.

It's all about the power to decide 'true' identity. Which is always about the opportunity to create something in our own image - as opposed to acknowledging the image which God has created.

Can you say 'grandiosity' children? Okay, how about 'idolatry'? No? Um, does 'hubris' work for you?

Okay, let's make it really simple: It's sin.

It's not uncommon to the struggle over Jewish identity - Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionists. Assimilation is a serious identity concern to all four branches of Judaism.

The Muslims are no stranger to the struggle. "No, we're not a violent religion. Oh, yes we are. Oh, no - we're just a gentle angry people. No, death to America!"

We even see it in those whose religious identity is tied up with their American identity. Isn't it the far-right wing nuts - the Tea Bag Party Republican Evangelicals - who keep telling us what it means to be a 'real' American, even as they try to define 'marriage'.

For some, it means you can't have a name that sounds like it couldn't possibly be Christian. Or, of a color that couldn't possibly be Western European.

So, I'm thinking that we're back in the Garden again. Eden, I mean.

The first gift God gave Adam was the ability to give names to all the creatures - to name and identify them.

It's an almost a primal power, isn't it? And, it's in danger.

Within the sound of the cosmic clicks of insight about identity are the sounds of the death rattle of patriarchy. The dominant male paradigm of power is shifting and some of the Old Boys are getting pretty nervous.

They have become Religious Sheriffs of the Wild, Wild East and West, forming posses and ridding off into the vast religious frontier to bring back the order of "Natural Law" to the land where men are men and women know their place.

Why celibate old men - or any man - should have anything to say about what's 'natural' for my body - my reproductive system or my sexuality or my life or my reality - is absolutely beyond me.

Indeed, why would anyone want that kind of control over another person? Why would anyone want to define reality for someone else? Why would you want to force an identity onto someone else - especially when you would never want that to happen to you?

Why would you deny the sacraments of the church - especially to those who hunger and thirst for Jesus or who are grieving over the loss of a loved one - because they don't follow your rules?

Why would you want to kill someone who doesn't believe what you believe?

Why would you believe that anyone of any religious persuasion should be treated "with ridicule, hatred and contempt"?

Well, I'll let you answer those questions for yourself.

Ironically enough, this picture appeared on the pages of Inside Catholic. It was the illustration for an article entitled, "Heaven Can Wait."

Want to get back to The Garden?

Want to get to Heaven? Want to avoid the pains of Hell?

Follow the sign.

Stay to the Left.

Remembering Veterans Day - and "Alive Day"

On Being Asked for a War Poem, William Butler Yeats (1865–1939)

I think it better that in times like these
A poet keep his mouth shut, for in truth
We have no gift to set a statesman right;
He has had enough of meddling who can please
A young girl in the indolence of her youth,
Or an old man upon a winter’s night.

I think Yeats has got it right.

So, on this Veteran's Day, I'm just going to let the soldiers, themselves, speak.

Well, one of them anyway.

This is a clip from the 2007 HBO Special Iraq War Documentary, "Alive Day" which was produced by James Gandolfini.

It is not a political documentary. It stays relentlessly focused on the soldiers - their lives, before and after their life-threatening and mutilating injuries - some of which are painfully obvious.

Even this brief clip is not for the faint of heart.

Other injuries may be invisible to the naked eye, but they are nonetheless part of the debilitating effects of PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Today, Veteran's Day, consider spending a few minutes listening to this interview with 27 year old Dawn Halfaker, First Lt, US Army, 293 Military Police.

Her "Alive Day" was June 19, 2004 - the day she narrowly escaped from death. Her right arm and shoulder were amputated. She spent ten days in a medically induced coma as part of her surgical recovery.

One of the most touching moments in this clip is when she wonders aloud, as she fights back tears, if anyone will ever love her. . . if, because she can't pick up a child she might have, that her son or daughter might feel any less loved. Might be able to love her, still.

The expression of her fears not only speaks poignantly about the on-going healing process of her mind and spirit, but also reveal her courage to be vulnerable.

Completely human.

A brave and honorable person.

Of your kindness and mercy, please keep Dawn and all the veterans of war in your prayers today. I offer three prayers.

This one is a Prayer for Veteran's Day by Jennifer Phillips, from her book, "Simple Prayers for Complicated Lives."

Governor of Nations, our Strength and Shield: we give you thanks for the devotion and courage of all those who have offered military service for this country: For those who have fought for freedom; for those who laid down their lives for others; for those who have borne suffering of mind or of body; for those who have brought their best gifts to times of need.

On our behalf they have entered into danger, endured separation from those they love, labored long hours, and borne hardship in war and in peacetime. Lift up by your mighty Presence those who are now at war; encourage and heal those in hospitals or mending their wounds at home; guard those in any need or trouble; hold safely in your hands all military families; and bring the returning troops to joyful reunion and tranquil life at home.

Give to us, your people, grateful hearts and a united will to honor these men and women and hold them always in our love and our prayers; until your world is perfected in peace through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

Finally, these two prayers which were adapted from the prayers which can be found on page 823 of the Book of Common Prayer.

Almighty God, we commend to your gracious care and keeping all the men and women of our armed forces at home and abroad. Defend them day by day with your heavenly grace; strengthen them in their trials and temptations; give them courage to face the perils which beset them; and grant them a sense of your abiding presence wherever they may be; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

O God, our Heavenly Creator, whose Only Child forgave his enemies while he was suffering shame and death: Strengthen those who suffer for the sake of conscience; when they are accused, save them from speaking with hate; when they are rejected, save them from bitterness; when they are imprisoned, save them from despair; and to us your servants, give grace to respect their witness and to discern te truth, that our society may be cleansed and strengthened. This we ask for the sake of Jesus Christ, our merciful and righteous Judge. Amen.

Lighten up, already!

I've been working awfully hard of late. Lots of pastorally sensitive issues to manage, even as anxiety reigns supreme at "Wall Street on Main Street".

Publication deadlines for two essays have come and gone. Pledge In-gathering Sunday this coming weekend, followed by a Vestry Appreciation Brunch. I've got the bread for the Sweet Potato Casserole I'm going to make so it ought to be perfect when I put it together on Thursday night.

Made two great vats of Seafood Chowder which are in the freezer. I'm now preparing to make two more great vats of African Peanut Soup tomorrow night for the Christmas Bazaar.

And, just because we're completely stupid in love with them, the grand kids are coming this weekend for a "double sleepover".

As if all that weren't enough, just this afternoon, without any warning whatsoever, I found myself looking down the short end of the barrel of a Saturday, less than a month away, that begins at 9 AM with a Christmas Bazaar which ends at 4 PM,  includes a Memorial Service for two of our "Snow Birds" at 4:30 followed by a funeral repast in the Parish Hall (which, one trusts, will be cleaned up from the Christmas Bazaar and turned into a banquet hall for 150 people), and God willing ends with an Open House on the UWS in NYC that evening.

Oh, and the very next Saturday?  That would be the ordination of Jon Richardson at 3 PM which  is preceded by the Annual Altar Guild Christmas Brunch, and followed by preparation for The Greening of the Church.  

Time management? Bwhahahahahaha! Lord, have mercy!

So, when Doug sent me these silly cartoons, I laughed so hard I cried. Thankfully, my body is still young enough to allow water to be emitted from appropriate bodily orifices  in response to laughter.

Here are a few more that sent me right over the edge. Thanks, Doug. You made my morning.

You know what this is, don't you?

Why of course!  It's Moo Shoe Pork!

Right!  What mother doesn't have to remind her kids of this in the summertime?  Although, don't you just hate being 'poked' on FaceBook?

I'm sorry.  I know.  It's bad.  But, every time I look at it, I can't stop laughing.

Wait, wait, wait.  Ahem.  (Bunch of pricks!)  Bwwhahahahaha!

Okay, okay.  Here's another:

 

I have no idea why I find this so funny.  Just hits a really sick place in my psyche, I guess.  Just like this one, I suppose:

Like a Larson cartoon, right?  Golfers are absolutely prime targets for this kind of humor.  Nothing, but nothing or nobody no how gets in the way of their game.

But, I saved my favorite for last

There.  I feel so much better.  I think I might actually find my way to the church office this morning.

Have a GREAT day!

Professional Standards Round II: An Impossible Vocation

I am deeply grateful for all the comments and suggestions left about the first "Test Drive" of Professional Standards. I am especially grateful for Louie Crew's comments about being a "Professional Christian" and all of the implications of that conversation.

I now have a second draft with new categories and a longer introduction which tries to explain some of the content.  Much of that is due to the conversations we've had about what it means to be a Christian Leader employed by the church.

For example, I have removed the word "Professional" and I'm now talking about what it means to be a "Servant Leader" - lay or ordained - with some standards for how that is lived out in Christian community.

I don't know if this can be 'standardized' across the church.  I suspect the categories will hold but the content would have to be generalized into some questions which would be answered by a particular Servant Leader in a particular ministry setting.

The genesis of this little project of mine came about because I was really just trying to do a better job of preparing for the annual Mutual Ministry Review - with myself and my staff - but this has turned into a wonderful conversation across the church (and not just TEC) about our expectations about the work of parochial ministry.

Which is precisely why I chose this picture of Jesus to illustrate the blog post.

Not only is Jesus walking on water, a miraculous enough feat, He is walking on the water in the midst of a storm.

Oh, and not only that, He's helping Peter.

Saving him from drowning.

As He walks on water.

In the middle of a storm.

Yup.  That just about sums up the "impossible vocation" of parish ministry for me. 

This particular work is far from being done. I look forward to your comments and responses.

MINISTRY STANDARDS FOR SERVANT LEADERSHIP

Prepared for the Wardens and Vestry of The Episcopal Church of St. Paul, Chatham, NJ by the Rev’d Dr. Elizabeth Kaeton, rector and pastor as a framework for discussion about the mutual ministry of servant leadership, the role of the rector and the standards she maintains for herself as a servant leader in community.

Introduction

For the past year or so, I've been working individually as well as with my parochial supervisor, my spiritual director and with a clergy colleague group on establishing some professional standards for our practice as clergy.

The conversation arose out of doing some case studies of problem situations in our congregations. It became clear to us that most folk in the pew - indeed, on our Vestries or those serving as Wardens - do not understand the role of the clergy as Servant Leaders in their communities of faith.

Truth be told, it's mostly our fault. The role of clergy in a congregation has been shifting for some time now, and many of us have kept up the role in the script of "Priest-as-Father-Knows-Best." We know our lines quite well and we do our best to play our part.

For many, many generations, rectors have been a combination of CFO, CEO, COO, and, oh yes, pastor. That has a certain appeal to a certain type of person - from those who take on this impossible vocation as part of the notion of 'Suffering Servant / Slave for Christ' to hard-core 'People Pleasers', to those clergy who are acting out their role of 'Family Rescuer' or 'Hero' which they played in their own families of origin.

If you are everyone's everything, it not only places your persona (instead of the person of Jesus) at the center of community (great for your faltering ego), it is also a set up for a consumer-based religion to continue the downward spiral into an empty, ultimately soul-depleting piety - as opposed to one that empowers all the baptized (including the pastor) to do the work of ministry and work out their own salvation in community.

The ego of the pastor may be stroked, but it's also a set up for the pastor to have a stroke - or heart attack, or stress-related illness. Oh, we've talked a good line about "the ministry of all the baptized," but when that theology hits the ideology of corporate America, it can sound and look and feel to some, on a very pragmatic level, that clergy are just lazy back-sliders. Additionally, the expectations and standards of the corporate world often stand at odds with those of a faith-based, Christ-centered community.

A Servant Leader, however, will have a healthy relationship with the family system known as church - that of being the Rabbi and Priest, the one who teaches, inspires, serves, empowers, challenges, disturbs and leads by effective example.

You know. Like Jesus did. Being a part of and yet set apart for a special work of ministry. Being the "W/holy other" who is, still, an integral member of the community.

So, how to do this? We explored many ways but the one we thought most effective was to come up with “Ministry Standards for Servant Leadership” that we would work from for a year, refine them, and then share them with our Wardens and Vestry - not so much as a tool of 'performance evaluation', but more as a way to teach the leadership of our congregations the role of the clergy.

The Process

First, we identified five main areas of work in a parochial setting: Pastor, Priest, Prophet, Steward and Rule of Life. This, in fact, is the ministry of all the baptized. The priest, however, is set apart, ordained, and authorized for certain roles and tasks in the name of the institutional church.

Next, we developed a list of our own gifts and graces for ministry, examined our leadership style with regards to management of staff and personal time, and our individual sense of the particulars of our vocational call to this community, in this unique location, with the distinctive gifts and challenges at this time in the historical lifecycle of the congregation.

We then examined our own values – what is important to us, what we are passionate about, what gives us joy and hope, what we are willing to live for, what we might be able to walk away from, and what we might be willing to die for.

We also looked at what actually comprises the work of our ministry – the day-to-day tasks of parochial life – and determined how it is we wanted to accomplish those tasks and the standards we wanted to maintain for ourselves.

Now we were ready to develop our own Standards of Servant Leadership and Ministry. We were amazed at the difference in our Standards as well as some of the similarities. For example, one of the members in our group is a scholar of Scripture with real gifts for teaching who serves a community of highly educated people in a college town. S/he thought it very important to teach, on a yearly cycle, Hebrew Scripture, the Gospels, the Epistles and the Apocrypha.

The group groaned in response! We couldn’t imagine ourselves doing that – either having that ability or interest. No matter. That was not our standard. It was the standard of that particular priest and the interests of that particular congregation.

The Mission of the Diocese and the Mission of the Church

Servant Leadership is not done in a vacuum. It is done in community. In the Episcopal Church, we believe and try to live what we profess weekly in the Nicene Creed – that we are ‘one, holy, catholic and apostolic church’. We are interconnected with each other – parish, diocese, national church, and the worldwide Anglican Communion.St. Paul’s church has a mission statement which reads:  

We of St. Paul's, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, will help each other know and claim Jesus Christ as friend and Savior.

Through Word, prayer and action, we will uphold and nurture our parish family, our communities and all of God's creation.

In the past few years, we have taken this statement and, after careful assessment of our common lives of faith in small focus groups, we have developed a logo: a ‘dancing’ cruciform tree with a limb growing through “The Episcopal Church of St. Paul,” complete with a succinct mission ‘tag’:

Come. Grow. Celebrate.

The Episcopal Diocese of Newark has recently adopted a new mission statement and we have ordered our common lives of faith around this mission. It reads:

Equipping congregations...
Empowering people...
Engaging the world...
...with the hope and justice of Jesus.

As I have reflected on the five identified areas of Servant Leadership, I discovered that, in fact, these are also vehicles for living out the mission of both the congregation as well as the diocese.

These are:

PASTOR: (Diocesan: Equipping the people of God. Parochial: Come.)

PRIEST: (Diocesan: Empowering the people of God.)

Education: (Parochial: Grow)
Liturgy: (Parochial: Celebrate)

PROPHET: (Diocesan: Engaging the world. Parochial: Grow.)

STEWARD: (Serving the people of God – okay, it’s not a diocesan or parochial mission)

RULE OF LIFE: Self Care / Wellness

Please allow me to repeat:  These categories apply not only to the ordained, but to ALL the baptized.

You will note that, next to each category of Servant Leadership and before the discussion of my Standards of Servant Leadership, I have assigned a part of the parochial or diocesan mission statement which I thought was best captured in that area.

A Few Words About Servant Ministry

Bishop Bennett Simms, the retired bishop of Atlanta, started the Institute for Servant Leadership in Hendersonville, North Carolina. His book Servanthood: Leadership for the Third Millennium is still an important and often used resource.

Servant Leadership is an ancient concept, one that can be traced back to the 4th Century. The ancient Chinese leader Lao-Tzu also wrote about it in the Tao Te Ching:

The highest type of ruler is one of whose existence the people are barely aware. Next comes one whom they love and praise. Next comes one whom they fear. Next comes one whom they despise and defy. When you are lacking in faith, others will be unfaithful to you. The Sage is self-effacing and scanty of words. When his task is accomplished and things have been completed, All the people say, ‘We ourselves have achieved it!’

Servant Leadership strives to follow the model of Jesus. These words from Holy Scripture frame an understanding of this particular theology of ministry and leadership:

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28; also Mark 10:42-45)

These are the qualities of Servant Leadership as defined by Simms:

+ Engage in a spiritual journey rooted in a worshiping community and a personal spiritual practice.


+ Enhance the power and freedom of others.


+ Value all people, with special compassion for the least privileged in the human family.


+ Work for justice and peace in the world through the practice of non-violence.


+ Celebrate with gratitude the sacredness, abundance and interconnectedness of all creation.


+ Embrace a simplicity of life that honors work and the willingness to be held accountable, while leaving time for rest and play.


+ Recognize the gifts of each person, and seek discernment through dialogue as the context for all decision making.


+ Call others to be Servant Leaders.

Through prayer and careful discernment in community, I have become persuaded that I am - and have been -  called to Servant Leadership in Christian community.  Now it

One final note

This is the end product of study, prayer and discernment about the vocation of a specific priest in a particular congregation in a certain diocese at a certain point in time who is trying to faithfully live out her unique vocation. There may be ways to adapt this to other priests and other congregations in other dioceses. That is for them to decide.

These are standards I try to live on a daily basis and hold myself accountable for, checking in with my network of professional, spiritual and vocational support and guidance. Some days, I do better than others. Some days are smooth sailing. Some days, the whirlwind of parochial ministry can bring unforeseen emergencies that may include elements of the human drama that can range from a tragic accident, a sudden death, an unforeseen illness, or an incidence of domestic violence.

The day may also present a leaking roof, a hot water heater that dies, a Xerox machine on the fritz or a citation from the Fire Department for a faulty Fire Exit light. Any one or combination of these things can throw a perfectly planned day on the path where all good intentions reportedly lead. Sometimes I manage these days with grace and style, and sometimes, well, sometimes, frankly, I do not. I am a sheep of God’s fold, a lamb of God’s flock, and a sinner of God’s redeeming. Which is all to say, I am very human.

This document also does not articulate the enormous emotional and psychic energy it takes to manage the unconscious field of communication within a family system of congregational life. Because I am a pastor, I try to be fully present to the people I am called to serve. That does not come without emotional or psychic cost.

This is the reason I have included the elements of my own Rule of Life. Taking time for self-care is critically important – a responsibility equal to any of the standards I have established for myself as Servant Leader.

Long ago I learned that there is a Rule in the Cosmos: You cannot give away what you don’t have. When I care for myself, I am better able to care for other. My relationships with my family and friends and the God I know in Christ Jesus feed and sustain me to care for the souls God has called me to serve. I am and forever will be a grateful debtor for their love, support, tender care and occasionally, when necessary, brutal honesty.

(the Rev’d Dr.) Elizabeth Kaeton
Copyright November, 2009
No part of this may be reproduced without authorization of the Author

The Standards for Servant Leadership

PASTOR: (Diocesan: Equipping the people of God. Parochial: Come.)

+ Handwritten thank you notes in response to any contribution - monetary or otherwise - to the church. For stewardship pledges, that means a note signed by the committee chair and/or rector.

+ Acknowledging and praying for, within the context of community liturgy, major milestone events: birthdays, anniversaries, and special accomplishments.

+ A brief pastoral letter, along with community announcements and copies of the previous Sunday's sermon, sent weekly to all those who are fragile elderly or confined to home, hospital or extended care facility.

+ An annual, public acknowledgment of and expression of gratitude for those who serve or lead the various ministries of the church: choir, acolytes, Eucharistic ministers, church school teachers, Vestry, Wardens, etc.

+ An annual, public acknowledgment of and expression of gratitude for the service of the paid church staff.

+ Visit each member of the congregation who is hospitalized within 24-48 hours of hospitalization.

+ Provide for communion or visit at home once a month by Eucharistic Visitors and at least annually at Christmas and/or Easter by the rector.

+ Provide daily (or more) care for parishioner and family members who are on Hospice care, providing for the Vigil of Prayer as the time of death approaches.

+ Visit and bless all newborn babies within 24-48 hours of birth. Check in weekly on the new family, referring to Parish nurse for assessment as appropriate.

+ Visit all new members or potential new members of the church, preceded by a personal letter of welcome.

+ Meet within a week of a request from any member of the congregation for a pastoral conversation.

+ Provide three sessions of pastoral assessment and counseling and, if necessary, referral to an appropriate community service: individual, marriage or family therapy, pastoral counseling, spiritual direction, rehab, detox and/or 12-step program, etc.

+ Provide no more than six sessions of pre-marital counseling / education and liturgy preparation for those who are engaged to be married.

+ Same day / immediate response to serious accident, unexpected hospitalization, death in the family.

+ Return all phone call messages within 24 hours, if at all possible.

+ Spiritual leadership of Vestry meetings in consultation with the Wardens and following a prepared agenda

+ Attendance at parish fellowship events and coffee hour - with emphasis on the role of pastor and trying not to conduct church business during these social times.

+ Host dinners at Rectory or residence for principal leadership groups, such as:

Vestry
Altar Guild
Choir
Teachers
Ushers
Lay Readers, Lectors, EMs/EVs
parish volunteers
Staff
Area clergy
Other groups.

PRIEST: (Diocesan: Empowering the people of God.)

Education: (Parochial: Grow)

+ Sermons which deepen the congregation's understanding of the texts appointed for the day and also help them link the message of the gospel to their daily life. Sermons ought to challenge and comfort, as appropriate depending on the pastoral assessment of the congregation as it relates to the particular topic.

+ Occasional sermons designed for children and young adults, either in the principle service or a service primarily for children and young adults.

+ At least one preparatory meeting with each family (including sponsors) with a candidate for baptism on a day other than the day of the baptism to: review the liturgy; discuss the meaning of the various renunciations, affirmations and vows.

+ Provide adult education - through Advent and Lenten Seasons, Adult Forums, and one or two major community events annually (e.g. Evolution, Creationism and Intelligent Design; Race, Religion & Politics).

+ Provide, through the Rector's discretionary fund, financial support (help with rent, medications, food, etc.) to members of the congregation and wider community.

+ Encourage participation in an EFM group. Initiate, support and help provide a parish-based EFM group, led by the laity of the church.

+ Participate in the Confirmation Class with the Youth Missioner, with the goal of community building, calling forth servant leadership among the confirmands, as well as a working knowledge of the scriptures, church history, the prayer book and liturgy, Christian ethics, and the development of a group “Creed”; and participate in a mission trip as well as several community service projects.

+ Provide for annual refresher/training of Eucharistic Ministers and Visitors and Lectors, as well as basic orientation/training for new EM's or EV's - including those young people who have been newly confirmed who wish to participate in this ministry of the church.

+ Guide and support a program of Christian Education of young people on Sunday mornings and/or other times in consultation with parents and young people themselves.

+ Provide for an Instructed Eucharist in small groups and/or in the Sunday morning service as needed and appropriate.

+ Meet with all families who are new to the church from other denominations to provide them with a sense of the ethos, theos and (yes) pathos of The Episcopal Church.

Liturgy: (Parochial: Celebrate)

+ Sunday morning service:

Prepare a written order of service
Conduct liturgy in accordance with the provisions of the national and Diocesan canons and the vows of ordination.
Preach on the lessons appointed by an approved lectionary
Begin on time.

+ Leadership of the Pastoral Offices in the Prayer Book as appropriate

+ Offering of worship at times other than only Sunday morning, including a regularly scheduled weekday interval (Wednesday morning 7 AM), or principal feast days.

+ Make provision for the public reading of the Daily Office (e.g. Evening Prayer every Tuesday and Thursday).

+ Train lay people to take liturgical leadership roles as provide for by the Prayer Book and the Canons.

+ Provide, in consultation with the staff and lay leadership of the congregation, musical leadership and education.

+ Design liturgical services for baptism, weddings and funerals that are personal, warm, participatory and reflective of the sacramental life of the person or persons.

+ Work closely with Altar Guild, Flower Arrangers, Acolytes, Torchbearers, Crucifer, Lectors, Eucharistic ministers, Choir, and all who participate in the liturgical leadership of the Eucharistic Leadership of the church so that the services of the church are coordinated to be dignified yet warm and personal, inspiring and comforting, with a cohesive and relevant message.

PROPHET: (Diocesan: Engaging the world. Parochial: Grow.)

+ Active membership / leadership in the community of local clergy in the diocese and among those of other denominations in the immediate area (Chatham Interfaith Council).

+ Active participation in at least one Diocesan committee or ministry

+ Active participation in at least one National Episcopal Church committee or ministry.

+ Serve on the board of at least one community organization that fulfills my personal sense of mission.

+ Work with justice / social service / community faith based organizations to fulfill the Commission of Jesus in Matthew 25.

+ Lead the people I serve to a unique sense of mission – individually as well as corporately. “If St. Paul’s closed tomorrow, what unique thing would the Episcopal Church and the community of Chatham miss most?” “When asked about St. Paul’s, what would you like to hear people say – ‘Oh, that’s the church that ______’”

+ Through sermons and Adult Education programs, call the people of God to engage the problems of the world and be vehicles of God’s love and hope.

+ Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable (as Jesus did).

STEWARD: (Serving the people of God)

+ Hire, supervise and care of staff members.

+ Weekly staff meetings to assess, evaluate and plan program.

+ Annual mutual ministry review with each staff member.

+ Coordinate with Parish Administrator to insure that all records are accurately maintained

Parochial Report
Annual Report to congregation
Parish Register
Register of all baptisms, confirmations, weddings, and funerals
Certificates of all baptisms, confirmations, weddings and burials
Certificates for all licensed parochial ministers and leaders
Review / renew certificates of insurance – church as well as those who use our space.
Review financial audit.
Supervise Memorial Garden/Columbarium
Space utilization and maintenance of buildings and grounds

+ Coordinate with Parish Treasurer/Coordinator of Finances, the supervision of

Parochial Report
Monthly and Annual Vestry / Parish report
Pledging

RULE OF LIFE: Self Care / Wellness

+ On-going development and refinement of a Rule of Life which includes:

Quality family time
Observance of full weekly Sabbath
Annual physical exam
Monthly spiritual direction
Regular pastoral care/therapy
Monthly parochial supervision
Monthly clergy colleague group
Regular, daily prayer / meditation
Exercise 3-5 times per week for one hour
A daily session of creative writing
A daily session of recreational reading
A daily session of professional reading
Sunday Eucharist with at least one weekly observance of Eucharist
Strive to tithe or maintain tithe as a spiritual discipline
Regular continuing education
Cultivate healthy, collegial relationship with the bishop, clergy and laity
Observance of an annual spiritual retreat
Plan for sabbatical once every five to seven years
Empower all the baptized for the work of Servant Leadership and Ministry
Cultivate the values of gratitude, generosity and excellence; intelligence, creativity and fun in all labor, and strive for justice, peace and mercy and all aspects of my life.
Participate in regular mutual ministry reviews.

An Attitude of Gratitude

“Everything she had . . .” Mark 12:38-44

XXIII Pentecost – November 8, 2009

The Episcopal Church of St. Paul

(the Rev’d Dr.) Elizabeth Kaeton, rector and pastor

In my family album, I have a picture of myself as a child of six or seven. I’m sitting primly on one of those professional photography studio chairs in my First Communion Dress.

It’s white and lacy, and I am accessorized with white Mary Jane shoes and white anklets with lace trim, white gloves, a white purse, and to top it all off, I am wearing a white crown and a veil – the perfect picture of a perfect little ‘bride of Christ.’

I have a clear memory that, in my child’s eyes, that was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen and ever hoped to wear until my actual wedding day. I was deeply, deeply grateful for it and very, very happy.

What made it even more special was, like so many children in my neighborhood, this beautiful dress did not cost my parents a penny. The entire outfit was provided for me anonymously by one of the women in my church, done in memory of her late husband.

Actually, the proper Portuguese term was ‘for the soul of’. It was a religious belief that, through this act of generosity, the soul of this man would be glorified in whatever way God sought.

It was an act of generosity and kindness, given from a heart filled with gratitude for life. She was doing it to the honor and glory of God and in loving memory of her late husband.

This morning’s gospel lesson about the Widow’s Mite touches these childhood memories for me in very real and vivid ways. After teaching a stern lesson about the haughtiness and arrogance of some of the scribes, Jesus sat down opposite the treasury and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury where many rich people put in large sums.

A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins – worth about a penny. Jesus gathered his disciples around him and said that she had put in more than all those who contributed to the Temple treasury. “For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had.”

I know. Some of you are saying, “Ouch!” In the economy of the Realm of God, generosity of the heart and spirit is a much higher currency than that of the currency of the world. Actually, Jesus is teaching a basic law of the Talmud.

My new best friend, the Rabbi with whom I recently co-presided at an Interfaith Wedding, had some very interesting things to say about the Hebrew understanding of charity – one that continues to shape and form Jews today.

The word in Hebrew, he tells me, is "tzedakah" but like so many words, its true meaning gets lost in the translation. Tzedakah is more than mere ‘charity’.

The word charity suggests benevolence and generosity, a magnanimous act by the wealthy and powerful for the benefit of the poor and needy.

The word tzedakah, however, is derived from a Hebrew word meaning righteousness, justice or fairness.

In Judaism, giving to the poor is not viewed as a generous, magnanimous act; it is simply an act of justice and righteousness, the performance of a duty, giving the poor their due.

The baseline of tzedakah is 10% of one’s income, from which we Christians get the word “tithe” – as in “strive to tithe”. Nevertheless, how one contributes that ‘tithe’ is important to the religious Jew.

The preeminent Jewish philosopher and one of the greatest Talmudic scholars of the Middle Ages was a Rabbi named Moses Maimonides. Indeed, we sing some of his theology in the great hymn “The God of Abraham Praise” (#401 in our Hymnal) the words of which author Thomas Olivers is said to have taken from the ‘Yigdal’ of Maimonides.

Maimonides wrote that there are eight levels of tzedakah, which, I think, are instructive for us today – especially in light of this morning’s gospel as well as in the Season of Stewardship. In ascending order they are, very simply put:

1. Giving begrudgingly (the lowest form of giving).
2. Giving less that you should, but giving it cheerfully. (I guess I’m shameless. I’ll take a generous contribution or pledge any day from a crabby person.)
3. Giving after being asked.
4. Giving before being asked.
5. Giving when you do not know the recipient's identity, but the recipient knows your identity.
6. Giving when you know the recipient's identity, but the recipient doesn't know your identity.
7. Giving when neither party knows the other's identity. (This was the case of my beautiful First Communion outfit.)
8. Enabling the recipient to become self-reliant.

This last level is known as the highest level of tzedakah and there are a few levels to that: to support someone by endowing them with an outright gift or interest-free loan, or entering into a partnership with them, or finding employment for them in order to strengthen their hand until they need no longer be dependent upon others.

As daunting as all of these different levels are, in the economy of the Realm of God, Jesus has an even higher level of giving - one that flows from a heart unconcerned with amount or recipient or intention or charity or hierarchy of need.

For Jesus, it is the spirit of generosity that matters – a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving that flows from a heart filled with gratitude for all that God has done in your life.

That generosity of spirit, for Jesus, counts for more than just money. Giving it all to God because God has done so much for you – even though you are poorer than poor and all alone in the world. Indeed, especially if this is so.

I think we, in this post-modern culture, have lost sight of that sort of gratitude. I know I have. It’s so easy to do in our culture of ‘throw-away’ and ‘easy credit’ and ‘instant gratification’. God forbid we – or our children or grandchildren – should want for anything. Or, have to wait for anything. Or, have to work for anything.

Sometimes I wonder if, in all of our magnanimity, we are actually short-changing our children and children for an opportunity to learn something about – and experience – gratitude.

As I stand before you today, I can acutely remember the deep sense of gratitude I felt for that First Communion dress. As I look at the picture of myself, I can honestly say that I don’t remember much about the dress (If I didn’t have the picture, I wouldn’t remember at all). It was beautiful. That was enough.

What I really remember is how grateful I felt. And that gratefulness deepened my happiness and turned it into joy. That happiness and joy have lasted all these many, many years later and, I think, have inspired some of the choices I’ve made in my life. The sacrifices I’ve made for my beliefs. The risks I’ve taken for my faith. Turns out, gratefulness inspires gratefulness.

There is a saying in the 12 Step Program that, in order to gain a strong-foothold on sobriety, one needs to develop “An Attitude of Gratitude”. Now, one might ask, “What has gratitude got to do with sobriety? How is gratitude an antidote for an addictive disease?”

Good questions. Rather than answer them for you, I’m going to ask you to consider them. Carefully. Talk to someone in recovery. Listen carefully to what they have to say. You’d be amazed at how much you can learn about faith from someone in sobriety.

That may be because there’s another saying in the 12-Step Program: “Religion is for those who fear going to Hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.” While I may disagree somewhat with the first part of that saying, I certainly embrace the latter.

I have found that there are some deeply spiritual people who are members in this church – and, I note, they are among our most generous people.

Conversely, some of the most so-called ‘religious’ people I’ve known in the church of God are also some of the most mean-spirited and stingy people to ever have taken a seat in church. They not only give begrudgingly, with lots of strings and qualifications and terms and conditions attached.

Here’s a few more questions for you to consider: What has gratitude got to do with a life of faith? How is gratitude the basis for generosity? Why is sacrificial giving part of a Christian life of faith? Why do we say that Eucharist is ‘a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving’? What does that mean, really? How does generosity help to raise us to ‘the full stature of Christ’? How is developing an “Attitude of Gratitude” reflective of a faith in God?

I don’t have answers for those questions for you. Like sobriety, developing a life of faith is something best done in a community of your peers. But, I’d love to talk with you about these questions and explore what they may mean for your life of faith.

As one Christian mystic once said, “The church is at its best when it understands itself as a community of grateful beggars who teach other hungry beggars where to find bread.”

Or, as Jesus said to his disciples about the Widow’s Mite, “ . . . . [she] has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had.”

Amen.

Something About Autumn

The Autumn foliage reached its peak a bit ago in the Northeast Corridor, and the rains over the past few days have ravaged many of the trees, but there are some still around which are ablaze with glorious color.

Even the leaves that have gathered at the base of the trees have left a carpet blazing with color, which proves irresistible to young kids and dogs as a place to romp and play.

After a late breakfast with a friend, helping him learn his way around his new iPhone, I came home, did some laundry, finished the spit and polish on tomorrow's sermon and then took a long walk.

I was trying to remember this day, all those many years ago, when my first daughter was born. My most vivid memory, other than that of her actual birth, was the way everything seemed to be ablaze with color.

It was a new day, the beginning of a new life as a new mother who had been a wife for exactly nine months to the day. I felt as overwhelmed by a mixture of joy and anxiety as the overwhelming colors of the day.

I felt strangely, fully alive.

I distinctly remembered that feeling as I walked among the Autumn leaves in the brilliant sun this afternoon. My grief and rising anxiety, almost five years after her death, felt as overwhelming as the joy and anxiety I experienced the day she was born.

I felt strangely, fully alive.

Funny how things come full circle - how the seasons come full circle, reflecting the beginnings and endings of life.

The joy and the sadness. The hope and the loss. The laughter and the tears.

More than any other Season in the four seasons we are blessed to enjoy in this part of God's glorious creation, nothing brings this home for me as much as Autumn.

Must be something in those blazing, fallen leaves that makes me feel strangely, fully alive.

Professional Standards: A test drive

For the past year or so, I've been working individually as well as with my parochial supervisor, my spiritual director and with a clergy colleague group on establishing some professional standards for our practice as clergy.

The conversation arose out of doing some case studies of problem situations in our congregations. It became clear to us that most folk in the pew - indeed, on our Vestries or those serving as Wardens - do not understand the role of the clergy as Servant Leaders in their communities of faith.

Truth be told, it's mostly our fault. The role of clergy in a congregation has been shifting for some time now, and many of us have kept up the role in the script of "Priest-as-Father-Knows-Best." We know our lines quite well.

For many, many generations, rectors have been a combination of CFO, CEO and pastor. That has a certain appeal to a certain type of person - from those who take on this impossible vocation as part of the notion of 'Suffering Servant / Slave for Christ' to hard-core 'People Pleasers', to those clergy who are acting out their role of 'Family Rescuer' or 'Hero' which they played in their own families of origin.

If you are everyone's everything, it not only places your persona (instead of the person of Jesus) at the center of community (great for your faltering ego), it is also a set up for a consumer-based religion to continue the downward spiral into an empty, ultimately soul-depleting piety - as opposed to one that empowers all the baptized (including the pastor) to do the work of ministry and work out their own salvation in community.

The ego of the pastor may be stroked, but it's also a set up for the pastor to have a stroke - or heart attack, or stress-related illness.

Oh, we've talked a good line about "the ministry of all the baptized," but when that theology hits the ideology of corporate America, it can sound and look and feel to some, on a very pragmatic level, that clergy are just lazy back-sliders.

A Servant Leader, however, will have a healthy relationship with the family system known as church - that of being the Rabbi and Priest, the one who teaches, inspires, empowers and leads by effective example.

You know. Like Jesus did. Being a part of and yet set apart for a special work of ministry. Being the "W/holy other" who is, still, an integral member of the community.

So, how to do this? We explored many ways but the one we thought most effective was to come up with Professional Standards that we would work from for a year, refine them, and then share them with our Wardens and Vestry - not so much as a tool of 'performance evaluation' (although, it can be that), but more as a way to teach the leadership of our congregations the role of the clergy.

First, we decided that there are three main areas of work in a parochial setting: Pastoral, Teaching, Liturgy and "Other".

This list reflects the order of priority as we saw it. Other clergy / laity might have a different perspective. This is mine. Absolutely.

Then, we decided to fill in expectations we had for ourselves in the various areas of parochial ministry. Here are some of mine. Please remember that this is a work in progress. I'll be asking you for some of your reactions/responses / suggestions.

PASTORAL:

1. Handwritten thank you notes in response to any contribution - monetary or otherwise - to the church. For stewardship pledges, that means a note signed by the committee chair and/or rector.

2. Acknowledging and praying for, within the context of community liturgy, major milestone events: birthdays, anniversaries, special accomplishments.

3. A brief pastoral letter, along with community announcements and copies of the previous Sunday's sermon, sent weekly to all those who are fragile elderly or confined to home, hospital or extended care facility.

4. An annual, public acknowledgment of and expression of gratitude for those who serve or lead the various ministries of the church: choir, acolytes, Eucharistic ministers, church school teachers, Vestry, Wardens, etc.

5. An annual, public acknowledgment of and expression of gratitude for the service of the paid church staff.

6. Visit each member of the congregation who is hospitalized within 24-48 hours of hospitalization.

7. Provide for communion or visit at home once a month by Eucharistic Visitors and at least annually at Christmas and/or Easter by the rector.

8. Provide daily (or more) care for parishioner and family members who are on Hospice care, providing for the Vigil of Prayer as the time of death approaches.

9. Visit and bless all newborn babies within 24-48 hours of birth. Check in weekly on the new family, referring to Parish nurse for assessment as appropriate.

10. Visit all new members or potential new members of the church, preceded by a personal letter of welcome.

11. Meet within a week of a request from any member of the congregation for a pastoral conversation.

12. Provide three sessions of pastoral assessment and counseling and, if necessary, referral to an appropriate community service: individual, marriage or family therapy, pastoral counseling, spiritual direction, rehab, 12-step program, etc.

13. Provide no more than six sessions of pre-marital counseling / education and liturgy preparation for those who are engaged to be married.

14. Same day / immediate response to serious accident, unexpected hospitalization, death in the family.

15. Provide, through the Rector's discretionary fund, financial support (help with rent, medications, food, etc.) to members of the congregation and wider community.

16.  Return all phone call messages within 24 hours, if at all possible.


TEACHING

1. Sermons which deepen the congregation's understanding of the texts appointed for the day and also help them link the message of the gospel to their daily life. Sermons ought to challenge and comfort, as appropriate.

2. Occasional sermons designed for children and young adults, either in the principle service or a service primarily for children and young adults.

3. At least one preparatory meeting with each family (including sponsors) with a candidate for baptism on a day other than the day of the baptism to: review the liturgy, discuss the meaning of the various renunciations, affirmations and vows.

4. Provide adult education - through Advent and Lenten Seasons, Adult Forums, and one or two major community events annually (eg. Evolution, Creationism and Intelligent Design; Race, Religion & Politics).

5. Encourage participation in an EFM group. Initiate, support and help provide a parish-based EFM group, led by the laity of the church.

6. Participate in the Confirmation Class with the Youth Missioner, with the goal of community building, calling forth servant leadership among the confirmands, as well as a working knowledge of the scriptures, church history, the prayer book and liturgy, Christian ethics; and participate in a mission trip as well as several community service projects.

7. Provide for annual refresher/training of Eucharistic Ministers and Visitors and Lectors, as well as basic orientation/training for new EM's or EV's - including those young people who have been newly confirmed who wish to participate in this ministry of the church.

8. Guide and support a program of Christian Education of young people on Sunday mornings and/or other times in consultation with parents and young people themselves.

9. Provide for an Instructed Eucharist in small groups and/or in the Sunday morning service as needed and appropriate.

10. Meet with all families who are new to the church from other denominations to provide them with a sense of the ethos, theos and (yes) pathos of The Episcopal Church.

LITURGY

1. Sunday morning service:

Prepare a written order of service
Conduct liturgy in accordance with the provisions of the national and Diocesan canons and the vows of ordination.
Preach on the lessons appointed by an approved lectionary
Begin on time.

2. Leadership of the Pastoral Offices in the Prayer Book as appropriate

3. Offering of worship at times other than only Sunday morning, including a regularly scheduled weekday interval (Wednesday morning 7 AM), or principal feast days.

4. Make provision for the public reading of the Daily Office (eg. Evening Prayer every Tuesday and Thursday).

5. Train lay people to take liturgical leadership roles as provide for by the Prayer Book and the Canons.

6. Provide, in consultation with the staff and lay leadership of the congregation, musical leadership and education.

7. Design liturgical services for baptism, weddings and funerals that are personal, warm, participatory and reflective of the sacramental life of the person or persons.

8. Work closely with Altar Guild, Flower Arrangers, Acolytes, Torchbearers, Crucifer, Lectors, Eucharistic ministers, Choir, and all who participate in the liturgical leadership of the Eucharistic Leadership of the church so that the services of the church are coordinated to be dignified yet warm and personal, inspiring and comforting, with a cohesive and relevant message.


OTHER

1. Active membership / leadership in the community of local clergy in the diocese and among those of other denominations in the immediate area (Chatham Interfaith Council).

2. Spiritual leadership of Vestry meetings in consultation with the Wardens and following a prepared agenda

3. Attendance at parish fellowship events and coffee hour - with emphasis on the role of pastor and trying not to conduct church business during these social times.

4. Host dinners at Rectory or residence for principal leadership groups, such as:

Vestry
Altar Guild
Choir
Teachers
Ushers
Lay Readers, Lectors, EMs/EVs
parish volunteers
Staff
Area clergy
Other groups.

5. Active participation in at least one Diocesan committee or ministry

6. Active participation in at least one National Episcopal Church committee or ministry.

7. Hire, supervise and care of staff members.

8. Coordinate with Parish Administrator to insure that all records are accurately maintained

Parochial Report
Annual Report to congregation
Parish Register
Register of all baptisms, weddings, and funerals
Certificates of all baptisms, weddings and burials
Memorial Garden/Columbarium
Space utilization and maintenance of buildings and grounds

9. Coordinate with Parish Treasurer/Coordinator of Finances, the supervision of

Parochial Report
Monthly and Annual Vestry / Parish report
Pledging

10. Regular self care: spiritual, mind and body

Develop a Rule of Life which includes:

Annual physical exam
Monthly spiritual direction
Regular pastoral care/therapy
Monthly parochial supervision
Monthly clergy colleague group
Strive to tithe or maintain tithe as a spiritual discipline
Observance of full weekly sabbath
Regular continuing education
Observance of an annual spiritual retreat
Cultivate the values of gratitude, generosity and excellence; intelligence, creativity and fun in all labors and all aspects of my life.

Participate in a regular mutual ministry review.

So, there it is. My first attempt to put this all down into one coherent form. Did you find this helpful?

Are there things I might have worded or articulated more clearly? Is there something needs clarification?

Were there some surprises or new insights you gained?

Of course, these are my standards, which reflect my strengths (and weaknesses) as I make application of them in the particular location where I practice my ministry.

The particular elements would vary - sometimes slightly, sometimes dramatically - from, say, a rural setting to a suburban setting, or a working class to a college community setting, to an urban or inner city setting.

However, I think the basics 'headlines' of Pastoral, Teaching, Liturgy and Other are accurately reflective of how I see my role as Servant Leader in a Community of Faith.

So - here's another question: Do you think this can be standardized? Can there be diocesan or national standards for professional, ordained ministry? And, if there were, what effect might it have on the church?

I'd love to hear your responses. Thanks in advance.

In the company of women

I need another group/commitment of time like I need a hole in the head, but this one - ah, this one is going to be good for my soul.

When I arrived in Chatham over seven years ago, there were three clergy women in town - the Reconstructionist Rabbi, the Presbyterian, and me.

Now, there are three Methodists, one Presbyterian, one Lutheran, one Reconstructionist Rabbi (well, she's actually now in the next town over, but we still claim her) and me.

Our numbers have more than doubled in seven years. Seven women and five men (two Presbyterians, one Methodist, one UCC and one Roman Catholic).

Women Clergy are finally in the majority - for however long it lasts, whatever that's worth or for what ever that really means.

More importantly, we have a critical mass - enough to be able to really support each other as we discuss issues of importance to our particular perspective and style of ministry as women.

We met yesterday as a group of clergy women. Well, not all of us were actually able to meet. No matter. The conversation was rich and full.

We shared parts of our faith story, but the more urgent subject of our conversation was our role as women with pastoral, spiritual and institutional authority, and how we claim or compromise that authority (or how it is withheld or compromised by others, men and women) in the various and complex situations of parochial ministry - most especially here, in the affluent suburbs of Chatham.

Oh, it started with the more newly ordained's questions to her (Ahem!) "more senior sisters", but it became clear that there is wisdom to be shared no matter our respective ages.

I left our meeting with these two very different reflections:

First: Good Lord, has it really been that long? Twenty-three years? Wasn't it yesterday - or, last week, at the latest - when I first started to walk the path of ordained ministry?

In many ways, I'm still doing battle with some of the same demons of insecurity and imposterization which I felt 23 years ago. It's so very easy for these demons to lead me to and push me off the edge of the High Cliffs of People Pleasing - which always leads me to the bottom of the Canyon of Spiritual Emptiness.

I recognized the demons immediately when I saw them in my sister clergy. They don't come as often and they are not as difficult to fight off, but they still rise to the surface from time to time and continue to try to torment and taunt.

Will it ever be thus? I suspect so.

As Linda Ellerbee once said, "How is it that so often . . . I get the feeling I've worked hard to learn something I already know, or knew, once."

I have made friends with my demons - worthy opponents, they - because I have learned so much about myself from them. I don't think my pastoral skills and abilities would be what they are today without them.

And, I am deeply, deeply grateful.

I was also deeply grateful for the candid, honest, transparency of our conversation yesterday. In the two plus decades of ordained service, I've never had a conversation with a male clergy person about vocational insecurities and the occasional waves of imposterization one feels in the role of Servant Leader. Never. Ever.

I don't think guys have these conversations - at least, not with women clergy. Okay, not with me.

Second and last: I felt joy and delight that "the church militant here on earth" is in the hands of such amazing, competent women.

You know, it occurs to me that the only people - more specifically, women - I don't trust are the ones who seem to have it "all together". The ones who seem so confident and secure that there is nothing they couldn't take on with one hand tied behind their back, standing on their head in a middle of a wind storm. And, finish up in time to have supper on the table.

You know the type? They are the same ones, however, who, if you look behind the satisfied smiles, you will find that they actually enjoy provoking a sense of insecurity in others.

That's because, as long as they are making YOU feel insecure, they feel more in control. They aren't. But, it pleases them to think so. Even at someone else's expense.

Illusion is often the best fashion accessory for a career on the success-track.

I'm back to one of my s/heroes, Linda Ellerbee who once said, "Never trust a woman who hasn't been fired at least once."

There's great wisdom in that, I think.

I came away with this thought: I think the best postures for faithful Servant Leadership are in the shape of either a question mark or exclamation point.

See what I mean? I don't have time for another group, but I gotta tell ya, I wouldn't miss next month's meeting for the world.

Six degrees of separation?

There's an old joke about lesbians which tickles a place of truth about the relational nature of women who love other women.

Lesbian New Math

Question: Mary and Jane are lovers. Mary has had two previous lovers and Jane has had one. How many best friends do Mary and Jane have?

Answer: The answer, of course, is "three".

If you are a lesbian and you got the right answer, you can move to the head of the class and pick up your pair of Birkenstock sandals.

If you are a gay man and you got the right answer, you get a pinky ring, a macrame plant hanger and a warm, appreciative hug.

If you are a straight man and you got the right answer, you get a copy of the book, "Lesbian Nation," which you will receive when you show evidence of the cancellation of your subscription to "PlayBoy" magazine.

If you are a straight woman and you got the right answer, please proceed to the Recruitment Center to pick up your complimentary electric blanket and free pass to "Rumors," "Lilith's Garden," "Adam's Rib," the "Lickity-Split" or any other Lesbian Bar, Saloon, and/or Eatery of your choice.

You've seen the movie or read the book "Six Degrees of Separation," right? I think communication in cyberspace cuts that in half. Cut that in half again for religious people who communicate in cyberspace.

So, I have this friend who used to live in Morristown who retired to Vermont with her husband. We still stay in touch. Her dear friend still lives in Morristown and we communicate from time to time. Both of them read my blog.

So, Fr. Ed dies. The friend in Morristown calls the friend who has moved to VT. They both know "Fr. P," who is a 'soul friend' of the friend in Moristown and a dear friend of Fr. Ed and Msgr. Lasch, Fr. Ed's spiritual director.

She sends Fr. P a copy of my blog post on Fr. Ed's murder.

He, in turn, sends it to Msgr. Lasch, who delivered the eulogy/homily at Fr. Ed's funeral and used my story / tribute to Fr. Ed in his homily.

You can read the whole homily on Msgr. Lash's blog.

He concluded my story by saying, "Ed did not break any rules. He knew the heart of Christ."

When he said that, I think all eyes went directly to the Bishop's face to see if there was any reaction. There wasn't. I'm thinking the old chap just wasn't paying attention.

However, there is a note on Msgr.'s bulletin board that reads: "Beginning on Monday, November 2nd, I will be on an extended sabbatical leave/retreat during the month of November. I will not be sending or receiving email messages nor posting any reflections during this period. I ask you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I will keep you in mine. I look forward to activating my website on my return in December."

I'm trying not to say, "Uh-oh". I hope these dots do not connect.

Anyway, go visit Msgr.'s blog. You can find his homily here.

Everybody sing, "It's a small world, after all. It's a small world, after all. It's a small world, after all. It's a small, small world."

"Racial Resentment"????

I've come upon a new term.  Well, it's new to me, anyway, but I guess it's a term that's been used by scholars in The Academy for a few years now.

I first discovered it when a friend wrote to commend the recently published book, "Authoritarianism & Polarization in American Politics", by Marc J. Hetherington and Jonathan D. Weiler.

I became intrigued by it and found a couple of interesting blogs here and here.

The authors use the term "Racial Resentment," noting that it's a term used by more and more political scientists. In fact, that's the term the authors used in a survey they did to measure the link between Health Care Reform and Racial Attitudes.

It's such a new term that even Wikipedia doesn't have a definition for it.  Here's one I found in the American Journal of Political Science:

White racial resentment is associated with opposition to a broad range of racial policies but it is unclear whether it derives from racial prejudice or stems from ideological principles. To resolve this ambiguity, we examined the impact of racial resentment on support for a college-scholarship program in which program beneficiaries' race and socioeconomic class was experimentally varied. The analyses yield a potentially troubling finding: racial resentment means different things to white liberals and conservatives. Among liberals, racial resentment conveys the political effects of racial prejudice, by predicting program support for black but not white students, and is better predicted by overt measures of racial prejudice than among conservatives. Among conservatives, racial resentment appears more ideological. It is closely tied to opposition to race-conscious programs regardless of recipient race and is only weakly tied to measures of overt prejudice. Racial resentment, therefore, is not a clear-cut measure of racial prejudice for all Americans.

I find myself having problems with the term.  It feels like a nuanced, polite-white term for bad, old fashioned 'racism'.

It feels like a similar nuance to the one I experience between 'homophobia' and 'heterosexism'.  

One feels like a nuanced term for the other.  One can be 'heterosexist' without actually being homophobic, I suppose; but if one is homophobic one is probably heterosexist, as well.

Or, for another example: It is sexist to tell 'dumb blond jokes' (because they're exclusively about women) but misogyny is at the root of sexual assault and violence.  However, I'm betting that no one laughs louder at 'dumb blond jokes' than a misogynist.

See what I'm trying to get at here?

I'm a hopeless wordsmith.   I love words.  Perhaps it comes from the fact that English is not my "mother tongue."

I suppose it's a sign of some social progress that some people are quick to vehemently deny being racist. Racism of a blatant kind is now impolitic.  That doesn't change the fact that racism exists.

Or homophobia.  Or heterosexism.  Or misogyny.  Or sexism.

But, 'racial resentment'?

This is 'social progress'?

I don't know.  I'm still reacting to it. I understand it's a term from the realm of political science and that's just not my field.  That may be part of my problem.

I'm a priest. In The Episcopal Church. I'm fine with nuance and paradox and even mystery. I'm not okay with injustice and prejudice.

Or, perhaps my real problem is that, ultimately, I don't find the nuances between sexism and misogyny, or homophobia and heterosexism very helpful.

'Racial resentment' still feels like a 'polite-white' dodge to confronting racism.  There's no real "ambiguity" in my mind.

What do you think?  Is it a 'dodge'?  A sign of 'social progress'?  Or is it a helpful way to talk about the variety and nuanced manifestations of prejudice?

Your thousand-word paper should be on my desk by 10 AM Tuesday morning. ;~)

"Take away the stone!"

John 11:32-44

All Saints’ Sunday

November 1, 2009 – The Episcopal Church of St. Paul

(the Rev’d Dr.) Elizabeth Kaeton, rector and pastor.

I want to begin this sermon for All Saints’ Sunday with a story from one who is newly numbered among the saints.

Yesterday, we bid a formal farewell from this earthly life in a funeral service for Fr. Ed Hinds, faithful priest, gentle man, beloved friend and neighbor.

I have many ‘Fr. Ed stories’ which I will cherish and treasure, but the one that has been on my heart is the one he loved to tell about the building of the Cathedrals in Newark and Elizabeth, NJ.

Both Cathedrals were commissioned at the turn of the last century, but both saw their greatest building during the years known as the Great Depression.

Fr. Ed’s eyes would light up as he recalled that this was a time, much like these days, when anxiety was high. It wasn’t just about ‘downsizing’ or ‘unemployment’ or ‘fragile economy’. Jobs were flat-out scarce. ‘We the people’ had no money for food or clothes, heat or electricity.

All the whole world seemed a very dark and broken place.

And yet, Fr. Ed said, both Cathedrals experienced their greatest growth during that time. Not only did expanding the edifices of these Cathedrals put people to work, he said, but the people knew they were building a place where hope could abide – where hope could live on – where hope stood guard over despair. “God gave them the gift of faith,” he said, “and living their faith gave them the gift of hope.”

Let me say that again: “God gave them the gift of faith, and living their faith gave them the gift of hope.”

I think that’s exactly what’s going on in this morning’s gospel passage. Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha, had died. It had been four days since his death, and he had been laid in a tomb. The tomb was a cave, and a great stone was lying against it.

Now, Mary and Martha believed in Jesus and they believed in the Resurrection – at least, that’s what they said. And yet, in her grief and sorrow, Mary cried out to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her grief and her weeping, he was ‘greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved’. Indeed, he was deeply moved with such compassion for his friends that he began to weep himself.

And then, as some point, I imagine Jesus wiping his tears, blowing his nose, lacing his sandals, and then being moved to take action.

“Take away the stone,” he said to Martha, but she said to Jesus, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.”

I don’t know about you, but I hear a hint of annoyance in Jesus’ response to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?”

So they took away the stone.

Jesus prayed to God aloud, so that the crowd could hear him and then he cried out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!”

You can almost hear the gasps as the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face covered with cloth.

And then Jesus said an amazing thing. Turning to the crowd he said, “Unbind him, and let him go.”

Let me remind you of Fr. Ed’s words: “God gave them the gift of faith, and living their faith gave them the gift of hope.”

Jesus has given us the gift of Eternal Life. It is a free gift - unearned and undeserved - but it is in the living of that gift that gives us hope.

How is it, you ask, that we live the gift of faith? How do we live the gift of Eternal Life? I thought you’d never ask!

The easy answer is this: We live the gift of faith by not giving into despair.

I know. “Easy for you to say, Reverend Elizabeth!” These are not times for easy answers. I don’t have to rehearse the litany of the woes of our world and the climate of our country. You know them all too well. Their names are Legion.

And now, now the sense of safety and security in our community has been shattered by the brutal and violent death of one of our own – who died at the hands of one who, until two years ago, had been our neighbor.

These are confusing, bewildering times – times when religious platitudes like “It was God’s will,” or “It was all part of the mystery of God’s plan,” just don’t cut it.

I think it takes real religious and moral courage to sit with the questions and the confusion and not rush to easy answers.

If you notice, Jesus did exactly that. He took time to listen to the tears of his friends, indeed, to shed a few of his own. He allowed himself to feel first – feel the pain, feel the sorrow, feel the loss, feel the confusion, feel the questions.

And then, of course, at some point, you have to dry your tears, blow your nose, lace up your sandals and put your faith into action.

“Take away the stone,” he said to Martha.

Those words are also meant for our ears. We all need to take away the stones that wall our hearts from feeling the pain, the fears, the grief and the anxiety – our own, as well as that of others.

That’s what I see when I look at the stones that give shape and form to the Cathedrals in Newark and Elizabeth, and, in fact, all Houses of Worship.

The stones of pain, fear, grief and anxiety have been changed and transformed by a living faith into magnificent structures of hope – where hope can abide and live on and stand guard over despair.

That’s what I see when the church engages in the mission of the gospel.

For example, it may feel like a luxury to purchase a turkey for your family and then be asked to purchase another for the Turkey Drive for the Interfaith Food Pantry Network, of which we are a part, to feed families in Morris County.

And then, as if that weren't enough, we ask you to purchase yet another for hungry families in the state of New Jersey. It is not a luxury. It is the gospel. The gospel is not a luxury. The gospel is the core and foundation of our lives of faith.

Our faith is a gift from God. The mission of the gospel is the stone upon which our faith is built. And, the stones of our fear, anxiety and despair are transformed into hope when we move, in faith, out of the tombs of death and into the mission of Jesus.

Jesus is asking us to take these foundational stones of our faith and move them out into the world in service of the mission of the gospel, that we may know hope and bring hope to a world that is broken and dark with despair.

Churches – all churches, from this humble brick structure with its wood interior, to even more humble wooden ones, to magnificent stone Cathedrals – contain the legacy of the hope of saints past and present and those yet to come.

They also contain their hopes and dreams, their prayers – unspoken, spoken and sung in a throat weary with the cares of the world – which have been fashioned from the stones of their fears and anxieties and woes.

Sometimes, when I'm alone in this sanctuary, saying the prayers of the Daily Office or just the prayers that are on my heart, I hear them. The bricks and stones and wood call out to me, and I hear the prayers and the psalms and the hymns that were once sung in this church.

This is the gift of the saints – some of whose names we will read in just a few minutes – who are with us today in the mystical sweet communion of our faith.

When we read their names, we will say, “Present”. Because they are. Present to us in our grief and sadness and in the hope of Life Eternal.

They join us at the Altar, and when we lift our weary, burdened hearts to God and join our voices with the heavenly chorus of prophets, apostles and martyrs, with angels and archangels and all the company of heaven, their legacy of hope is united with our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving – our deep, heartfelt gratitude – and we are inspired, in our generation, to move the stones from our hears and leave hope to the next.

Our faith transforms us into living stones of hope whose voice cannot – will not – be silenced.

On the Memorial Card for Fr. Ed were printed these words from Pope John XXIII:

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”

If you listen, you can hear the echo of the words of Pope John in the words of Fr. Ed: “God gives us the gift of faith, and living our faith gives us the gift of hope.”

If you listen even more closely, you can hear the echo of the words of Jesus, “Take away the stone.”

May God take away the stones of anxiety and indifference and ingratitude and turn us into living stones of hope – for all the Saints, past, present, and yet to come into a world which, without our living faith, channeled into the "unbinding and letting go" of mission, will always be a dark and broken place.

Amen.