Born This Way

It's amazing what you can stumble onto when you start surfing the web.

I learned about this blog, "Born This Way" quite by accident.

I hadn't gotten the memo from "Queer Central" - probably because I don't even know where Queer Central IS - or if there really IS a Queer Central. I've only assumed, from some of the things I've read as I've surfed the web, that there is some place, somewhere in a deep, dark cavern at the base of a volcano where LGBT people and their Progressive allies are busy writing the Gay Agenda and plotting to take over the world.

I was 'surfing the web' on the far right of Anglican Cyberspace to see what might be going on in the outer fringes of Anglicanism. I hadn't been to some of these sites in a long, long while and was pleasantly surprised to find how small they've gotten.

A few of the blogs have actually closed up shop. One blog asked for suggestions from its readers to "clean up the Blog Roll" of defunct or irrelevant blogs. The membership in the comment section of a few of them seems to have dwindled down to the same 12-20 people with the same really silly web names making the same kinds of angry noises.

I took heart that this is a portent of what will happen, eventually, to the Anglican Schismatic Alphabet Soup of C.R.A.P. - "Church of Really Angry People".

It was a slow news day, that day, in the Anglican Communion. The so-called "orthodox" hate slow news days. It tends to bring them down off their usual testosterone high.

Their whole cosmology is about Good v. Evil and 'standing firm' and being 'still on patrol' while 'fighting the good fight' against the nefarious forces of The Progressive Left. If there's nothing to fight, well, let's just say the comment section can get fairly heated - and amusing - if you don't take any of it personally.

That's when I came across this wonderful new blog, "Born This Way". It was being held up for ridicule, of course, and the comments ranged from expressions of incredulity (these kids obviously don't get out much) to comments that were cruel in their ignorance and bigotry - which is never an excuse for cruelty.

When I clicked on the link to "Born This Way", I was absolutely delighted with what I found.

The Blog was started by a man named Paul V. who came upon the idea from some of the baby pictures sent to him by some of his friends for his FaceBook Page. As he looked over some of the pictures, he thought to himself, "This kid is gay!" - and has been so since s/he was born.

He began collecting the childhood pictures of LGBT people - along with their stories - and started the blog as a way to inspire and encourage struggling youth.

CNN did a report of his blog - you can watch the video here - in which he says, "If there's one kid who reads this blog and feels that sense of connection and that sense of self worth and it saves one life, then, I'm thrilled."

I hope you go over there and read it and, perhaps, be inspired by what you find to send your own childhood picture and story.

I hope parents go over there, too. I think those who "fear" their child may be LGBT will find a sense of solace and hope in these stories.

Dr. Freud was wrong on this one. People aren't gay because they have a weak or absent father and/or an overbearing mother. People are LGBT because they're born that way.

And...and...AND... it's a whole heck of a lot more complicated than that.

It's not just about 'nature vs. nurture'. It's actually a little bit of both - genetics and social conditioning.

Which is why some people, like Christopher here on your right, didn't 'come out' until just before his fortieth birthday, but, he says, "I always knew I was different from even a very early age".

He writes:

My parents indulged and embraced my uniqueness. When I wanted a baby doll, I got one and I loved and cared for him, and even dressed him in the same outfit I'm wearing in the photo. And I still have him.

In junior high, I took home economics instead of shop. And though my dad wasn't happy about it, he reluctantly bought me the supplies I needed for my first sewing project. By 13, my mom turned the kitchen over to me and encouraged me to pursue my love of cooking as a career. I later became a pastry chef.

Although my journey was also filled with many dark and depressing days, when my being "different" made life difficult, I've come to love this photo of me.

It reminds me that I am as I was meant to be. I was born this way."

And, this is Cameron, a an FtM (female to male) transsexual who lives in Concord, MA. S/he was born female with the name 'Camilla' and, like most of us, grew up not knowing that there was anything like being 'transsexual'. Boys are boys and girls are girls, right?

It's more complicated than that.

Even so, Cameron - like so many LGBT people - had some early inklings that s/he was different. S/he says that s/he wore 'girly clothes' until about the 5th grade, when s/he discovered that s/he much preferred wearing baggy T-Shirts, jeans and a baseball cap.

S/he writes:

In 9th grade, I cut my hair short. At a school dance, girls asked me to dance, 'mistaking me' for a boy. And I realized that I didn't mind their confusion.

In fact, I liked it.

That was my first realization that I might be transgendered. Coming out to my parents was tricky, though. They still don't accept me for being the man that I SHOULD have been born as. They don't understand, that every day, I wake up wishing that I was just born with the body that boys take for granted. You never know how much you have, and how much other people value what you were born with. If I had one wish, it would be to be born with the right body.

I'm still struggling with my transition to manhood, and it's a slow process. I'm starting to tell people at school, and from what I have seen, they are all getting on board with it. Although I still go by female pronouns almost everywhere, I'm looking forward to the day that I will be known as a man everywhere.

I'm so much happier now, then when I was as a girl in middle school: wondering why I hated my body, and wearing boy clothes to cover up my awkward, out of place shell.

And I know I'm only going to get happier. Which is why I always think things will get better, for those who want it to. :)

There's something reassuring in the fact that Cameron is "still struggling with my transition to manhood, and it's a slow process." It gives me permission to struggle and take my time as well, so my embrace of my Trans sisters and brothers can be authentic and warm and not just "nice".

I've come a long way, but I confess that I continue to struggle with the idea of transgender. I totally 'get' that a man might want to be a woman - is my bias showing? I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that any woman would want to be a man.

Gee, does that ring a bell that we've heard from the homophobic side of the playing field? There it is, then - my gender prejudice and bias right out there for all the world to see. And, probably judge. It's okay. I deserve it.

I would rather admit and take responsibility for my own growth and transformation than to "shame and blame" those I don't understand - or, try to take away their civil rights.

I've yet to have some what of I expect will be some-what difficult conversations with some of my FtM sister/brothers about the political implications of things like male privilege and how they reconcile all of that.

I don't expect them to "teach" me - I will take responsibility for my own education and learning - but I'm interested in what I will be able to learn from them that will challenge some of my own assumptions and biases about gender and privilege.

I can only imagine  and hope that, with love and support, Trans people will help us continue to fight against assumed and unexamined privilege - especially around issues of gender.

Gender - like sexuality - is more complicated than physical form and attraction and orientation. It's an intricate, sometimes delicate mixture of nature and nurture. There is a whole, wide range of being "born this way" and the things which happen to shape and form identity.

I'm also grateful for my Trans sisters and brothers because their struggle and mine also allows me to be more tolerant of people who don't "get" my sexual orientation.

You want to call me a 'lesbian'? Fine. You think, because I've been married and had children that I'm really 'bi'? Fine. Really.

I can't change the way you see me or think of me. But please don't stop at your labels. I'm so much more than the person who has chosen to identify herself and her family in a way that is not part of the mainstream "normal" - whatever that is.

I can only take responsibility for my own change and transformation. Increasing my own levels of tolerance. Becoming a more compassionate and understanding person.

Surprisingly enough, I'm growing much more comfortable with the term "Queer". Not only does it curb the ever-growing Alphabet Soup of God's Rainbow Tribe, it brings a halt to the ways some folks - within and without the LGBTQI community - try to use our differences to "divide and conquer".

There is no hierarchy of oppression and prejudice.

Let me say that again, because it's important: There is no hierarchy of oppression and prejudice. You aren't "better" or "worse" than I am because of your gender or sexual orientation or the color of your skin or where you were born or where you went to school.

I think the best way to avoid the seduction of that is to stop looking so closely at our differences and celebrate our uniqueness. What we have in common is much stronger than any differences we have.

That's the thing you'll learn from reading the stories on "Born This Way". That's not a statement from a hopeless victim of harsh circumstance who "just can't help it."

"I was born this way" is a statement of acknowledgment and choice.

Yes, choice.

I know. I know. Part of the long-standing gestalt in the LGBT community has been to emphasize the fact that we were "just born this way" to side step the whole idea of choice because it avoids the whole classical understanding of sin.

No, I don't think LGBT people have a choice about their sexual or gender orientation. However, I do believe that we do make a choice about our identity and orientation. We have a choice about acting on who we believe ourselves to be and how we intend to live our lives.

That's not sin - not unless my choice challenges your construct and world view of what it means to be human and healthy and happy. Even so, you can call it "sin", but ultimately, that's not your judgment to make. That's between me and God.

Here's what I do believe to be sin - LGBT people who are coerced or emotionally manipulated or forced by 'religious preference' to chose a 'heterosexual lifestyle' in order to conform to what others - family, church, friends - think they ought to be.

Ironically, these are the people the Radical Right Fringe hold up as examples of how the "choice" to be LGBT is a sin. See, you can choose to 'right' thing - read, what I think is 'right' for you.

I believe St. Paul said something about "going against your nature". Yup, and he said it was a sin.

Ironies abound.

The world is such an amazing place and these are such amazing times. There is beauty and diversity everywhere in God's creation - especially in God's creatures. We are just beginning to discover and understand just how beautiful and diverse God made the world and the people who populate it.

Turns out, we all have a choice to make: To be part of the C.R.A.P. (Church of Really Angry People) or part of a C.o.F. (Community of Faith) - Church, Temple, Mosque - that celebrates even as it struggles to understand and appreciate the wideness of God's creativity and mercy.

Yes, I know we all have the potential for good and the potential for evil. We make choices all the time around those two polar extremes. Sometimes, the landscape between the two can get rocky and foggy, with lots of twists and turns.

I tend to agree with Anne Frank,

"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."

Because, ultimately, I believe we were all born that way. Good at heart.

Or, as Cameron says, "Which is why I always think things will get better, for those who want it to."

Even happiness is a choice.

It's just not always easy.

Tamar's Ashes

Tamar - Marc Chagall

The Bible does not mention Ash Wednesday or the custom of Lent.

Any. Time. Any. Place.

Before Jesus went out into the wilderness for "forty days and forty nights" - the length of time of our 'modern' Lent - he didn't have John smear ashes on his head. Indeed, he went there "immediately" after he had been baptized.

In the Gospel chosen for the Day (Matthew 6:1-6,16-21), Jesus is pretty clear about the whole business of fasting and ashes:

"And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward".

Truth be told, I've always sorta side-stepped the issue in Ash Wednesday sermons. I've sometimes confidently muttered things like, "Well, it's an ancient practice we see in Scripture. It's a way to signify the practice of repentance and/or mourning. It has come to signify our mortality."

Well, while that's all true, the practice still nags at me, all these years later.

So, I did a bit of a word study/search for ashes in Scripture. I found a few sources, like Job 2:8 "Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes".

And, Esther 4:1 "When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly".

I also found it in Daniel 9:3 "So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes".

I even found it in Matthew 11:21 “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes."

But it was the Rape of Tamar, "the beautiful sister" of Absalom, son of David, by Amnon, the son of David, that took my breath away (2 Samuel 13).

Now, Amnon lusted after Tamar and had devised a way to lure the virgin woman into his bedroom by pretending to be sick. When Tamar went to feed him the bread she had made, Amnon grabbed her hand, pulled her into bed and raped her.

Then, he sent her away.

“No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.” But he refused to listen to her.

He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.

The story ends like this: "And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman".

Takes your breath away, right?

I also noted, in my word study, that Tamar is a female name of Hebrew origin meaning "Date Palm" - the large branches of which are used in Jerusalem (and in some church's here) during the Palm Sunday re-enactment of Jesus' entry into the Holy City.

Interesting, that we "make" ashes - at least these days for liturgical use - by burning last year's palms from the Sunday of Passion. 

Mordecai was deeply grieving. Daniel and Job were truly repenting. Tamar, however, was mortified, deeply ashamed about what had been done to her, as well as grieving what had been stolen from her.

That's not what Jesus was talking about. Jesus said, "Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven."

So, it's not about getting ashes just to get ashes and let everyone know that you went to church. It's about an outward and visible sign of your inward and spiritual grief, repentance and/or mortification or humiliation.

It's about intention. It's about sincerity. And, authenticity.

Which is why I'm still uncomfortable - ambivalent, really - with the whole idea about taking ashes to the streets.

The ENS headline in yesterday's article read: CHICAGO: Ash Wednesday rites will be taken to the streets and railway stations. Apparently, "More than two dozen congregations, stretching from Chicago to Dixon, will be taking the Ash Wednesday rite of imposition of ashes to the streets, coffee houses and transit stations of their communities on Ash Wednesday, March 9."

The diocesan-wide effort, called "Ashes To Go", reportedly started with an idea by the Rev. Emily Mellot, rector of Calvary Episcopal Church in Lombard in response to church members regrets about not being able to attend Ash Wednesday services at the church.

She brought the idea to her Vestry, thinking that maybe they could begin taking Ashes to the Commuter Train Station where her people were. Next year. Maybe.The Vestry got so excited that they started the program nine days later.

This year, it's a diocesan-wide event.

The article states:

Taking the Ash Wednesday rite to the streets is modeling what Jesus did in his ministry, said Mellott. As she notes in her introduction to the Ashes to Go: Liturgical Outreach resources, Jesus preached, healed and taught in the public space where the people in need of a sign of hope were. Ashes, she says, "belong to the public spaces and the daily work of our lives, not just to the times and spaces of the regular worshipping community."

As a tool for evangelism it provides a powerful symbol of the church's commitment to meet and engage people in their daily lives, a message that struck home for members of her parish last year, said Mellott. "Several parishioners and others have told me that what matters to them about the ashes is the ability to wear their faith in public, in all the ordinary, everyday things they do. And there's not much more everyday in nature than commuting."

Really? Is that what they're doing? 'Wearing their faith in public'?

Is that what Jesus meant when he said, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"?

I suppose some are. Probably many of her parishioners. But, what of the others?

Or, is this what Jesus meant when he said, "Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven"?

I guess my biggest problem is not that "Ashes to Go" happens out in public, on a commuter train, but that it does not happen within the context of prayer, much less liturgy. Or, community.

I apologize. I'm a priest. Calling a community of faith to prayer is really important to me.

Yes, Jesus met people where they were, doing the everyday things of ordinary life. He taught and healed in public - right in front of God and everybody.

Near as I can figure, he didn't have a Temple of his own. Didn't keep office hours. Didn't show up at Temple every Sabbath. Didn't hand out business cards or carry a sign. Didn't even wear identifiable clerical garb.

But, scripture doesn't report that he smudged ashes on anyone's forehead or instructed anyone to wear sackcloth. Indeed, the only time he reportedly spoke of ashes or sackcloth was as a rebuke to the communities of the Galilean villages of Chorazin and Bethsaida which did not repent in response to his teachings.

Pretty serious stuff.

Look, I'm not saying anything or anyone is right or wrong, good or bad. I'm confessing my discomfort and ambivalence with this practice. Who am I to say how God may work the commuter crowd or patrons of coffee houses and folks on the streets in Chicago or St. Louis or Boston or LA?

God can work through the ashes of our mortality. God can also work through the ashes of old palms - whether they are distributed in fine cathedrals, humble country churches, gritty inner city parishes or on the platform of a commuter train station.

I'm far from a biblical literalist. I don't think it's helpful to take a contextual situation from antiquity and try to use it as an exact template for our post-modern world.  That's a bit like taking a Date Palm Tree and trying to get it to grow in the rugged soil of Vermont.

For me, it's not just about what Jesus said or didn't say. It's not about what he did or didn't do - might or might not have done.

I keep hearing Job's desolation. And, Mordecai's wailing. And, Daniel's pleading.

I just can't get the image of Tamar's ashes out of my head.

International Women's Day

International Women's Day (8 March) is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. In some places like China, Russia, Vietnam and Bulgaria, International Women's Day is a national holiday.

The first International Women's Day was celebrated in Copenhagen on March 19, 1911. There are observations and celebrations all around the globe.

The Episcopal Women's Caucus, which I am privileged to serve as Convener, is observing this day with a letter to the Presiding Officers of The Episcopal Church, calling attention to the Culture of Rape in our country, in our military and in the world, and asking them, as two women in leadership in our church, "make a strong statement to our church, country and yes, the world, which decries the culture of violence and disrespect of women in this country that results in the staggering statistics about rape; the use of rape of women and girls as a weapon against a people during war; and the continued abuse of victims through legislation".

I hope those of you who read this blog will join us in this effort. Please consider sending your own letter to our Presiding Officers, encouraging them to use the privilege of their status to influence the President, the Bishop Suffragan of the Armed Forces, and the Executive Council to elevate their concern for the status of women in this country and around the world.

The press release and letter appears below.

Episcopal Women's Caucus
MEDIA RELEASE

Contact: Elizabeth Kaeton
Episcopal Women’s Caucus Convener
motherkaeton@gmail.com
973 464 8018 (cell)

Episcopal Women’s Caucus marks 100th International Women’s Day with Plea to Church Leaders to Stand Against Gender Violence

The Episcopal Women’s Caucus is deeply concerned about the rise of sexism, misogyny, and violence toward women, manifested in the form of rape not only in our own society and military, but also as it is used against women and children as a tactic of war in other countries, the Caucus board told Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori and President of the House of Deputies Bonnie Anderson, in a letter yesterday.

The Caucus Board called on Jefferts Schori and Anderson to bring these concerns to the next meeting of the Executive Council and to the Bishop Suffragan for Federal Ministries.

“It is our hope that the Executive Council would use its voice for the Episcopal Church to contact the President and those who hold governmental authority, calling on them to end the culture of rape in our military, create a climate of safety and equality for women who serve our country, and to speak out against the constant erosion of rights for all women. We would hope that the voice of Executive Council would take the form of a resolution at General Convention 2012,” the letter from the board said.

The Caucus board sent their letter to coincide with the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day on March 8 because, while women have achieved much, there is still much to do to end violence against women in the many forms it takes.

Some examples:

+ 1 out of every 6 American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.

+ 1 in 3 women report having been sexually violated while serving in the military – a number the Pentagon admits is probably 20 percent of the number that actually occur.

+ Female recruits are now far more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed in combat.

+ A bill currently in the House of Representatives, ostensibly aimed at reducing federal funding for abortion, seeks to do so by limiting funding to cases of “forcible rape,” (which leads one to ask, “When is rape non-forcible”?)

+ The House of Representatives vote to end federal support for Planned Parenthood, an organization that each year provides more than 800,000 women with breast exams, more than 4 million Americans with testing and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, and 2.5 million people with contraception.

“There is no ‘we’ and ‘they’ as far as violence against women is concerned. We are all sisters to each other, regardless of where we are born, how we are raised, how we look, what we do, or how young or old we are,” the letter stated.

“We ask that together you make a strong statement to our church, country and, yes, the world, which decries the culture of violence and disrespect of women in this country that results in the staggering statistics about rape; the use of rape of women and girls as a weapon against a people during war; and the continued abuse of victims through legislation,” the Caucus urged Jefferts Schori and Anderson.

The Episcopal Women’s Caucus (www.episcopalwomenscaucus.org) is a justice organization that has been advocating for women since 1971, spiritually, theologically, politically

.
A full copy of the letter follows.

The Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori
and
Ms. Bonnie Anderson
The Episcopal Church Center
815 Second Avenue,
New York, New York

Dear Bishop Jefferts Schori and President Anderson;

The Episcopal Women's Caucus is deeply concerned about the rise of sexism, misogyny, and violence toward women, manifested in the form of rape not only in our own society and military, but also as it is used against women and children as a tactic of war in other countries.

Statistics reported by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) include these gruesome facts:

● 1 out of every 6 American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).

● 17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.

● Approximately 73% of all rape victims know their assailants.

● In cases of juvenile sexual assault, 93% of the victims know their attacker.

A recently released Pentagon report indicates that rape of women in the U.S. military increased 11% in 2009, according to a Department of Defense statistic, with one in three women reporting having been sexually violated while serving in the military. Shockingly, the Pentagon itself admits that reported incidents probably represent just 20 percent of those that actually occur. Female recruits are now far more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed in combat.

We are painfully aware of the use of rape as a weapon against people where civil war in other countries persists. But we, as many around the world, were stunned by the beating and sexual assault on Lara Logan, CBS news correspondent in Tahir Square in Egypt. There is no 'we' and 'they' as far as violence against women is concerned. We are all sisters to each other, regardless of where we are born, how we are raised, how we look, what we do, or how young or old we are.

In addition, there is currently a bill in the House of Representatives, ostensibly, aimed at reducing federal funding for abortion but seeking to do so by limiting funding to cases of "forcible rape". This leads one to ask, "When is rape non-forcible"? A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to "accuser." But victims of other less gendered crimes, like burglary, would remain "victims."

In a further affront to women and girls, the House of Representatives recently voted to cut funding to Planned Parenthood, on the argument that taxpayer money should not go to organizations that provide abortion services, regardless of what else they might do. This would mean the end of federal support for an organization that each year provides more than 800,000 women with breast exams, more than 4 million Americans with testing and treatment for sexually transmitted diseases, and 2.5 million people with contraception.

We call on you both, as women of faith and leaders in our church, to join us in speaking out. We hope that you will bring these concerns to the next meeting of the Executive Council and to the Bishop Suffragan for the Armed Forces. It is our hope that the Executive Council would use its voice for the Episcopal Church to contact the President and those who hold governmental authority, calling on them to end the culture of rape in our military, create a climate of safety and equality for women who serve our country, and to speak out against the constant erosion of rights for all women. We would hope that the voice of Executive Council would take the form of a resolution at General Convention 2012.

We ask that together you make a strong statement to our church, country and yes, the world, which decries the culture of violence and disrespect of women in this country that results in the staggering statistics about rape; the use of rape of women and girls as a weapon against a people during war; and the continued abuse of victims through legislation.

We thank you in advance for working with us to bring these issues to the attention of our government, military leaders, legislators, and church councils, as we, as an organization, continue to raise awareness in the church about the status of women and advocate for change in our world so that all might live into God's Shalom of wholeness and well-being.

Your Sisters in Christ Jesus,

The Board of the Episcopal Women's Caucus

Convenor, Elizabeth M. Kaeton ; Secretary, Ann Van Dervoort; Treasurer, Barbara Mann, Ruach Editor, Karen D. Bota; Board Members, Susan N. Blue, Gigi Davis Conner, Susan Longo Cowperthwaite, Babs M. Meairs and Margo McMahon

Blow the Trumpet in Zion

The first lectionary reading appointed for Ash Wednesday will come from The Hebrew Scripture: Joel 2:1-2,12-17.

It begins:

Blow the trumpet in Zion;
sound the alarm on my holy mountain!
Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble,
for the day of the LORD is coming, it is near--
a day of darkness and gloom,
a day of clouds and thick darkness!

It is anticipated that, this week, Congress will end negotiations on the budget. Republicans have proposed that billions be cut from vital programs that millions of Americans depend on. Meanwhile, tax-cuts for the richest will be protected.

The good folks at MoveOn.Org (their founder was a college classmate of our youngest daughter) have sounded the trumpet and sounded the alarm, calling us to pay attention to the specifics of what those cuts will mean, exactly, for many Americans.

When you read the list below, there can be no denying that "a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and think darkness" fast approaches.

Top 10 Worst Things about the Republicans' Immoral Budget

The Republican budget would:

1. Destroy 700,000 jobs, according to an independent economic analysis.

2. Zero out federal funding for National Public Radio and public television.

3. Cut $1.3 billion from community health centers—which will deprive more than 3 million low-income people of health care over the next few months.

4. Cut nearly a billion dollars in food and health care assistance to pregnant women, new moms, and children.

5. Kick more than 200,000 children out of pre-school by cutting funds for Head Start.

6. Force states to fire 65,000 teachers and aides, dramatically increasing class sizes, thanks to education cuts.

7. Cut some or all financial aid for 9.4 million low- and middle-income college students.

8. Slash $1.6 billion from the National Institutes of Health, a cut that experts say would "send shockwaves" through cancer research, likely result in cuts to Alzheimer's and Parkinson's research, and cause job losses.

9. End the only federal family planning program, including cutting all federal funding that goes to Planned Parenthood to support cancer screenings and other women's health care.

10. Send 10,000 low-income veterans into homelessness by cutting in half the number of veterans who get housing vouchers this year.

I trust this list will catch your attention.

I'm willing to bet that there isn't a demographic on this list that doesn't include you or someone you know.

I hope MoveOn.Org inspires you to move your eyes away from watching Charlie Sheen's very public meltdown, the latest update on Lindsay Lohan's rehabilitation process, and wondering whatever will happen to whatever contestant on American Idol.

It's time to pay attention to what is going on in this country.

It's time to pick up the phone and call your representative or senator in Congress and register your outrage.

And, if you're not outraged, you need to pay closer attention.

Someone is blowing the trumpet. Someone is sounding the alarm. Someone is calling our attention to the immorality that is written into almost every line of the proposed budget.

It's important to listen to the call. It's important to pay attention. It's important to take some action.

Before we're all covered in sack cloth and ashes.

I'll let Joel and Moses have the last word:

Blow the trumpet in Zion;
sanctify a fast;
call a solemn assembly;
gather the people.

Sanctify the congregation;
assemble the aged;
gather the children,
even infants at the breast.

Let the bridegroom leave his room,
and the bride her canopy.

Between the vestibule and the altar
let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep.

Let them say, "Spare your people, O LORD,
and do not make your heritage a mockery,
a byword among the nations.

Why should it be said among the peoples,
`Where is their God?'"

Alchemy

Any day now, one of our daughters will call and we'll have the same conversation we've been having every year about this time for, oh, the past ten years or so.

"Mom," she'll ask, "What are you giving up for Lent?"

And, I'll say, "Well, I haven't yet decided what I'm taking on for Lent."

"Oh, Mom," she'll say, "you know what I mean. What are you giving up for Lent?"

This year, I'll say, "I'm thinking about taking lessons in rug hooking."

"Right," she'll say, with no less than a small amount of impatience in her voice that daughters often have with their mothers. "I'm thinking of walking to work."

And, I'll say, "That's great, my darling. And, how will this make you a better person? A better Christian?"

And, she'll say, "Because it will remind me of the cross. Isn't that what Lent is really all about?"

It's not her fault. We sent her to Roman Catholic schools.

"I think that's one of the classic definitions of Lent," I'll say. "The real point of Lent - indeed, of the cross - is so you'll become a better person. A better follower of Christ."

"Mom," she'll say with exasperation creeping into her voice, "how will rug hooking make you a better person - a better Christian - than my walking to work or giving up chocolate?"

"It won't," I'll say. "You can't become a better person or a better Christian just by doing something for eight weeks and then never doing it again. However, if that something leads you to consider things about your life that you want to permanently change, then that's a good thing."

"Okay," she'll say, "I'm going to start walking to work for Lent. I won't do it after Lent, but I'll do it during Lent. And yes," she'll sigh, "while I"m walking, I'll think about things I want to change about myself so I can be a better Christian and a better person. Okay?"

"You're a Rock Star," I'll say.  I'll say it like I mean it. Because I do.

This morning's gospel (Mark 17:1-9) is about the Transfiguration of Jesus. It's a remarkable, almost fantastic story about a journey high up to the top of a mountain with Jesus, John, James and Peter. While they were there, Jesus was transfigured right in front of his three disciples, "and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white."

Not only that, but Moses and Elijah showed up and started talking with them, all natural-like, as if it were an every-day occurrence. Peter even tries to set up accommodations for them. And then, through a "bright cloud" they heard a voice saying, ""This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!"

That's either the report of a miracle or one heck of a "Rocky Mountain high."

The story is told as the last of the miracle stories of the Season of Miracles - The Epiphany - the stories of the manifestation of the divinity within the humanity of Jesus.

It is an important story to tell before Lent begins this week, on Ash Wednesday, when we are reminded of our mortality.

I think it's important to be mindful of the balance of the two season - Epiphany and Lent. We have a divine spark within our mortal frames - as we travel the pathway that leads, ultimately to the Empty Tomb.

I was reminded, this morning, of something one of the littlest ones in my former community of faith said - oh, about five years ago - on Shrove Tuesday.

After all the pancakes and syrup, the scrambled eggs and sausages had been served at the Shrove (‘Fat’) Tuesday Supper, I gathered up all of the old, dried palms which had been brought in or had been stored since the last Sunday of Passion, and began burning them in the small outside kettle grille – the same one, by the way, we use to start the new fire of The Great Vigil of Easter.

Some of the little kids gathered around, sitting on the stairs, as my seminarians and other members of the church carefully tended the flame.

We marveled as the flames occasionally fanned down and the embers would circle round and round, causing a fantastic glowing effect in the darkness of the kettle, lighting and warming the darkness of that cold February night.

“Look!” said one of our very astute four year olds, “There are stars in the ashes!”

Isn't that simply wonderful?

Which got me to thinking.

I recently read an article which stated that scientists are now convinced that we – the composition of our bodies – have more in common with stars than the earth. I like that idea. I like it very much.

We have the capacity to do wonderful, amazing things. We also have the capacity to commit acts of unspeakable cruelty.

If we focus only on the "wretchedness" of our mortal beings - or, only on the "superiority" given to us over all the other creatures - we can lose sight of our place in the cosmos.

Being mindful of our potential to do good and bad helps us to be more authentic human beings. It helps us to be able to laugh at ourselves, the way we can giggle at Peter's bumbling attempts to deal with his own astonishment at seeing Moses and Elijah on that mountain top.

It also helps, when we're cowering on the ground, groveling in our own unworthiness in the presence of God, to hear the words Jesus said to his disciples, ""Get up and do not be afraid."

We have been made worthy, in Christ Jesus, to stand before God.

There are stars in our ashes.

There's lots of talk these days about "seeking the light" and "dwelling in the light" and "being fully present". Just check out some of the shelves in your local bookstore near the stacks labeled "religion/spirituality/psychology/self-help".

Rug hooked by Emily Robertson

As you read some of the "New Age" stuff, you can hear the philosophy of Alchemy and the ancient quest for the Philosopher's Stone - a substance said to be capable of turning base metals, especially lead, into gold.

It was also sometimes believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for achieving immortality.

In the Middle Ages, Alchemy was the evolution from ignorance to enlightenment, and the Philosophers Stone represented a hidden spiritual truth or power that would lead to that goal.

Psychologist Carl Jung saw Alchemy as a Western proto-psychology which could lead to the desired psychological path of individuation - the theory, in developmental psychology, which describes the process through which a person becomes his/her 'true self'.

Jung viewed Alchemy as comparable to a Yoga of the East, and more adequate to the Western mind than Eastern religions and philosophies. The practice of Alchemy seemed to change the mind and spirit of the Alchemist.

You'll find a wonderful example of this in the story of The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

The Alchemist details the journey of a young Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago, who, having had a dream he believes to be prophetic, journeys to Egypt to find treasure.

Along the way, he meets several characters, and encounters love, danger, opportunity, disaster and learns a lot about himself around the impact he had on the people he met.

One of the significant characters that he meets is an old king named Melchizedek who tells him about discovering his personal legend: what he always wanted to accomplish in his life.

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it," says Melchizedek. This is the core philosophy and motto of the book.

In the introduction of the book, Coelho writes:

"If you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here."

So, this year, when my daughter calls and asks, "Mom, what are you giving up for Lent?" I'll say, "Well, I know I can't be a Rock Star, so maybe I'll try to be a 'Lead Star'".

And, she'll say, "Oh, Mommmmm! I think you're finally losing it."

And, I'll say, "Actually, I think I've finally found it."

And, she'll say, "Whaaaat?"

And, I'll say, "I'm going to start a journey and enter a "bright cloud" where I can find the 'lead' in my life and turn it into 'gold'. I'm going to shift through the ashes, so I can find the stars I know are there, too. Perhaps those stars will help me as I sift through the ashes and find the Philosopher's Stone."

Rug Hooked by Emily Robertson

Maybe that will come to me as I do something mindfully mindless like hooking a rug.

Maybe it will come to me if I commit myself to "walking meditation" every day.

Or, perhaps it will come to me when I get more disciplined about turning the projects I went to EDS to accomplish and actually produce something that will be helpful to others.

I'm not quite sure how I will accomplish my goal. I only know I have to begin. In some ways, I think I've already begun.

That's part of the message I get from the Alchemy of Jesus which led to his Transfiguration. What I know about his journey is this: after the Transfiguration, came the Cross and the Resurrection.

I have no doubt that the Alchemy of my Lenten Journey will follow a similar path.

Just don't tell anybody about it until after I've raised the dead things in my life into something that is filled with life and has made me a better person and a better Christian.

I can only hope that, at the end of my journey, I will hear the voice of God saying, "This is my Beloved Child, with whom I am well pleased."

The Body Politic

There's a line in Shakespeare's Richard II (act iii, scene 2), "O call back yesterday, bid time return."

It was written during the last days of Elizabeth I's reign, when, because she had no heirs, conversations about succession to the throne was hot on everyone's lips.

One of the themes of Richard II is the tension between the King's natural body and the 'body politic' - a spiritual body which cannot be affected by mortal infirmities such as disease and old age.

These two bodies - natural and politic - form one indivisible unit, with the body politic superior to the body natural.

"The Body Politic" has come to mean the people of a politically organized nation or state considered as a group.

I don't know how "spiritual" the 'Body Politic" is, but I think it still enjoys superiority to the body natural.

I have been thinking about both definitions of the term as I read the March 4th, ENS article: "Income trends for female clergy mirror U.S. averages: 'Called to Serve' report shows women's status 34 years after ordinations began by Mary Frances Schjonberg.

You can find the article here.

The report begins:

According to two recently released studies, the pay disparity between male and female clergy in the Episcopal Church mirrors the rest of the United States.

Data in "Women in America," a statistical portrait released March 1 by the White House, show that women earned about 75 percent of what their male counterparts earned in 2009.

"Called to Serve," a Church Pension Fund study of clergy women and their families released in late January, found that women earned $45,656 on average compared with an average for male clergy of $60,773, or 75 percent.

There are 5,542 ordained women in the Episcopal Church, including 12 bishops, and 12,464 male clergy.

Okay, so move along. Nothing to see here, folks. Just almost 1/2 the ordained women in The Episcopal Church making 75% of what men do. It's just business as usual.

Never mind that the church is called to excellence. Never mind that the church is called to usher in the Realm of God. Never mind that our Baptismal Covenant and the teaching of our Catechism call us to the great prophetic commission to "do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God".

"Despite the presence of women clergy in the church for over thirty years, there are still significant gaps when comparing compensation and years of service between male and female clergy, pointing to the significant obstacles that women clergy face," Matthew Price, Church Pension Group vice president and director of analytical research, wrote in the report's introduction.

"Women's ministry also takes place in a wider society that influences and constrains what women can do," said Price of the other study's findings. "Family roles that still place on women primary responsibility for the raising of children and the care of elderly parents constrain the opportunities that women have to pursue opportunities in ministry."

Never mind that it is the year 2011. To paraphrase a quote from Bette Middler, it seems that when the ball drops in Times Square on New Year's Eve, no matter what year it actually is, it's still 1950 in The Episcopal Church.

The ecclesiastical 'body politic' has spoken about the status of women in our culture and in our church and they are speaking the same language of resignation to and consignment with the status quo.

The report examined service and compensation gaps between clergy men and women, looked at "formal structural barriers, but also at the subtle steering currents that lead clergy women into career backwaters," and lastly examined forces outside the church that may contribute to the gaps, according to the introduction.

The study showed that married men receive greater compensation on average ($61,964) than men who are not married ($55,388), and the inverse is true for women. Married women receive significantly less compensation on average ($44,544) than non-married women ($47,455). And men were significantly more likely than women to have successfully negotiated a greater compensation package than what had been offered.

In addition, men show significantly higher employment ratios, defined as years of employment with respect to years since ordination. Married men have greater employment ratios (65% on average) than non-married men (59%), while married women have lower employment ratios (47% on average) than non-married women (51%).

The study found that clergywomen traditionally have been challenged in being able to move from an associate rector or other staff-level placement to a rectorship or other position where they are the principal or senior ordained leader. "Research over the past thirty years has shown a persistent trend of men called to rectorships by their second placement, on average, while women typically have moved laterally to another staff position," researcher the Rev. Dr. Paula Nesbitt wrote.

She noted that being a rector is seen as "the normal expected experience for clergy to be called to high-level leadership within the church, such as cathedral dean or bishop." Men were also significantly more likely to have applied for a position as cathedral dean or bishop.

A press release from the Committee on the Status of Women noted that at present, less than three percent of diocesan bishops are women.

"I sorely wish I could say that there has been great progress for women in the almost 40 years women have been ordained priests, but if the "Called to Serve" report shows us anything, it's that we still have a long way to go," said the Rev. Cynthia Black, chair of the Committee on the Status of Women, and a priest in the Diocese of Minnesota.

The ecclesiastical 'body politic' has spoken about the status of women in our church. It shall mirror our culture. It has ever been thus. It is most likely to stay that way.

But, it doesn't have to.

In the past, the Committee on the Status of Women and The Episcopal Women's Caucus have tried to hold up these statistics as a way of shaming the church - at national, diocesan and local levels - into some action.

It hasn't worked. Obviously.

It is clearly time to take another strategy. A more pro-active one. Dare I say, a more demanding one.

It's time for women to relinquish the role of "royal martyr" and advocate for ourselves and our families.

Shakespearean critic J.D. Wilson notes that, in Shakespear's Richard II, the King's double nature as man and martyr is the dilemma that runs the course of the play, eventually leading to Richard's death.

Richard acts the part of a royal martyr, and due to the spilling of his blood, England continually undergoes civil war for the next two generations.

What's that old saying about those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it?

I don't know about you, but I think the time has come and now is to come out of the closet of sociocultural gender politics of the 1950's.

This political body thinks its time for a shift, change, transformation, revolution in the Body Politic which may well have been fighting so long about sexuality as an excuse not to work on other issues of justice and mercy and walking humbly with God.

I do not want to "bid time return" and "call back yesterday". Whatever we take from the past, let it be that which was good. That which served to bring out the best in each of us.

Let what is the very best about "yesterday" serve the present and lead us into the future, not keep us - especially "the little woman" - marching in place - three steps behind men.

To paraphrase political comedian Bill Maher, "I don't want my church 'back'. I want my church 'forward'."

What the Hell?

I've been "on the road, again" - getting a wee bit of a head start on Spring Break. Even though I've been moving 'round a bit,  I haven't missed the religious explosion over Rob Bell's new book.

I've written about Rob Bell before. You may remember that I'm a huge fan. I love, love, love his NOOMA Series, which is a provocative way to jump-start really important conversations in religious community about basic issues of Christian faith in creative, engaging ways.

You can view the trailer to one of my favorites, TREES by clicking on the word. Here's a taste of his theology (and is why I'm surprised that anyone is surprised about what he has to say about heaven and/or hell):

"We want to know why we are here. If our lives really matter. How our religion is relevant to this life. Today. We want to understand what significance this minute, hour, week, month, and year has to our lives. To our world. We need a God who cares about this life, in this world, right now. We want to understand why everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do matters. We don't want to just sit back and wait for something to happen or someday to come. We want to know if all the choices we make now will shape our world and lives for eternity. Because we want our lives to have meaning today, and our lives today to have meaning forever."

His first book is, "Velvet Elvis", which is his metaphor for getting inside of the ancient Jewish mind in order to make the church relevant for today's modern people of faith. It also caused a stir when it was first published.

Relevant? Why would religion or faith need to be relevant? If it was good enough for granddad, it ought to be good enough for you (Anglicans read: "The faith first delivered to the saints".)

Which, of course, makes him a "controversial evangelical".

I know, right? One does not expect the word "controversial" to be a modifier for the word "evangelical". In our current cultural climate, given all that we know about today's Evangelicals, it's a bit of an oxymoron.

Why is he controversial? Well, because he thinks the message of the bible is more important than the words of the bible. Or, in his words: "The Bible is not the point. The point is knowing Jesus Christ and the power of the resurrection."

My man.

He writes stuff like this about what we need in Christian leaders, teachers and preachers:

What we need are people who will approach the text and say, "God, what do you want to unleash here?" The guiding principle is the text, and you've encountered the living, sacred Word, and you're going to explode if you don't share what's happened in you, as opposed to Well, I guess I have to start it this way. You don't. I have to have an intro. Prove it. Maybe some teaching people have no idea where you're going until the last minute, and maybe that's why it works.

When Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan, everybody thought it was going to be a Pharisee who stops, and a Samaritan stops. Get it? He has them. He's working them over.

See what I mean? He sounds to my ears like our own Bill Countryman - especially, as I recall, in his book Love Songs and Reproaches: Passionate Conversations with God.

Countryman says that, if we listen to Scripture as we read it, we just might hear the Spirit fluttering Her wings over the words.

So, what controversy is Rob Bell stirring up now?

Well, he has a new book which has just been published. It's called "Love Wins" in which he “puts hell on trial.”

The publisher’s book description goes on to assert that Bell’s message is “decidedly optimistic—eternal life doesn’t start when we die; it starts right now. And ultimately, Love Wins.”

Ahem. Hello. Excuse me. You may have noticed - but maybe you didn't - that Jack Spong, retired Bishop of the Diocese of Newark in The Episcopal Church - wrote a book on this very topic. He called it, "Eternal Life: A New Vision: Beyond Religion, Beyond Theism, Beyond Heaven and Hell".

"Eternal Life" is reportedly Spong's last book, but it should really be considered part of Spong's ongoing, engaging memoir. He traces his journey from an evangelical home in North Carolina through his teenage years in a more “catholic” Anglican parish.

At each step of the way from deacon to priest, to pastoral work in parishes and to diocesan Bishop, Spong’s intellectual curiosity deepens. He is no longer content with the church’s easy answers. He liberates himself energetically from the literalist view of the Bible he inherited.

More importantly, he discards the triple-decker universe of the Bible, and along with it, the concept of the transcendent God. For Spong, God is not beyond us; God is within us.

Spong's book caused quite a stir of controversy - even among his die-hard fans.

I suppose it's not surprising that some of Bell's fans went into a tailspin over the amount of controversy generated by "Love Wins," which, the publisher's blurb says, “puts hell on trial.”

Hmmm . . . Rob Bell and Jack Spong and Bill Countryman, all pretty much saying the same thing. What are the odds of that?

Someone might want to check on the temperature in hell. It just might be freezing over.

If things get bad for Bell, perhaps someone could ring him up and invite him to consider the Episcopal Church. We'll be happy to take him in, and I think he might be happy with us. Although, he's been known to preach for aa long as an hour. That would never do in most Episcopal Churches.

Or, at least, someone might invite him into a conversation with Spong and Countryman. Wouldn't you just love to be a fly on the wall in THAT conversation?

The publisher's description of Bell's "Love Wins" - which was released, of course, before the book was actually published, which is scheduled for the end of March - asserts that Bell’s message is “decidedly optimistic—eternal life doesn’t start when we die; it starts right now. And ultimately, Love Wins.”

Uh-oh! Somebody's is Very Big Trouble. Bell is messin' round with sacred cows. So, it's no wonder that they've started mooing. Loudly.

Justin Taylor, vice president of editorial at Crossway, quickly posted a fierce condemnation—based solely on advance material.

Taylor writes:

"John Piper once wisely wrote, 'Bad theology dishonors God and hurts people. Churches that sever the root of truth may flourish for a season, but they will wither eventually or turn into something besides a Christian church.'

It is unspeakably sad when those called to be ministers of the Word distort the gospel and deceive the people of God with false doctrine."

He concludes that Bell “is moving farther and farther away from anything resembling biblical Christianity.”

Taylor’s post spurred a furor of tweeting and blogging, including a curtly dismissive tweet from Bethlehem Baptist Church’s John Piper: “Farewell, Rob Bell.”

When will they ever learn? Men like Piper and Taylor who condemn first without even knowing what they are talking about (having not even read the book) only pique the interest of those in the community of faith who may not have even entertained questions about universalism but do now.

They also whet the appetite of those who might have had some curiosity about the topic of heaven and hell and, in the wake of the controversy they stir, get the attention of people like me.

The greatest controversy that Bell incites is not about heaven or hell or eternal life. Rather, he exposes the evangelical idolatry of Scripture. Worse, he exposes the evangelical arrogance that, unless you believe in the version of the bible and the Jesus THEY believe in, you are cast away into the Outer Darkness.

YOU are the one who is irrelevant. Not them.

"Farewell, Rob Bell - and the rest of you lot."

The point is that evangelicals like Piper and Taylor dismiss the arguments in advance—because they are convinced that those who disagree with them disagree with God.

It's their own theological arrogance which they hold superior to God's revelation.

God forbid you should use your own intellect and ask "What is God trying to unleash here?" God forbid you should use your own religious imagination. God only knows where that might lead.

That's the point. God knows. They don't. I think they hate that most.

Bibliolatry. The idolatry of the Bible.

Theolatry - The idolatry of their own theology.

The real challenge - at least for me - is to listen to those who disagree with me, not just to be polite, but to learn something more about Jesus and how He reveals Himself to God's children, meeting them, as he always does, right where they are -  just as they are - without one plea.

No, I don't think that by "modeling behavior" any of those who disagree with me will follow suit and listen to me. I used to believe that, but I don't anymore. Time and experience are good and wise if not difficult and demanding teachers.

I try to listen carefully because it's the right thing to do, even if I know that the favor will not be returned to me.

It's the intellectual version of the old "turn the other cheek" thing that Jesus asked us to do.

I can't wait to read Rob Bell's new book. I have a sense I'll enjoy it even more than "Velvet Elvis" and even more than his NOOMA series.

I confess, however, that my real "guilty pleasure" will be watching the Evangelical Circus that will ensue. Evangelicals who get apoplectic about what they believe to be heresy - read: a challenge to their arrogant theology - provide the some of the best religious theater there is.

Without the enticement of "heaven" or the threat of "hell" however will they control the behavior of the poor, tired, huddled masses who just might read Rob Bell's book, decide that they can be evangelical AND intelligent without compromising their faith, and begin on a path to change their behavior - not out of some ultimate reward or real and present fear - but because they now believe that "eternal life starts right now"?

They just might say "to hell" with Hell, and start living as if God were present. Right here. Right now. In each minute, every day, week, and month of every year.

Year after year.

In me. In you. In each other.

As Scripture says, God "very near", "as close as your next breath", and, "in whom we live and move and have our being."

Just imagine what the world might look like if we lived like that.

Go ahead. Give it a try. It just might start the revolution Jesus came to bring about the first time 'round.

Oh wait. Never mind. When leading evangelicals like Rob Bell begin talking about eternal life already being in our midst, the revolution has already begun.

We live in sure and certain hope.

A Moral Imperative

According to a Yahoo news story, written February 28th, it was the case that changed the Obama administration's position on DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act).

"Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer were together for more than 40 years when Spyer died in 2009. Not longer after her partner's death, Windsor received a $363,053 federal tax bill--a liability that she would not have faced had the federal government recognized their union.

The New York couple married in Canada in 2007 in their 70s, after they found out that Spyer's multiple sclerosis was getting worse. Spyer was a psychologist who had become quadriplegic from the disease before her death, and Windsor worked for IBM. They met in the 1960s at a restaurant in Manhattan's Greenwich Village. "We danced so much and so intensely that she danced a hole through her stockings," Spyer said in the New York Times' write up of their wedding.

Windsor is suing for the tax money back from the federal government, and the Obama administration has effectively decided she's right by dropping its defense. The administration will continue to enforce the law unless it is struck down by the courts or Congress.

The Justice Department will also drop its defense in a similar case in Connecticut federal court with seven plaintiffs. Each plaintiff in the Connecticut case is a surviving same-sex partner who is being denied benefits because the federal government doesn't recognize the marriage.

Attorney General Eric Holder has informed House Speaker John Boehner that he or other members of Congress may defend the law if they choose. No one has officially stepped forward yet to take on the defense.

You can watch Windsor talk about her marriage and case in this video shot by the American Civil Liberties Union, whose lawyers are defending her."

Take a moment, please, to watch and listen to this brief video clip.

Make no mistake, please: This is not about money.

It's not about "special rights for special people".

It's not about "lefty, commie politics".

And, it's certainly not about "changing the definition of marriage." We're only asking to expand it to include people who are also protected by the Constitution for "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness".

Or an "attack on family values". Quite the opposite - it is the ultimate valuing of family life.

Or a "sign of the moral decay of this country".

This is about a moral imperative to do what is right.

This is about human decency.

This is about the very fiber of the threads of the fabric of this country where "liberty and justice for all" are woven and tightly bound together.

I also encourage you to read two reflections on the blessing of the marriage of my friends, Lisa and Susan, two wonderful and amazing women who were married in 2008 in California.

That's them - Lisa and Susan - at the top of this post.

No, just guaranteeing the Civil Right of marriage will not guarantee the end of discrimination. We're not naive. Racism still flourishes in this country, even though Brown v. Brown was won years ago and we have the Civil Rights Amendment and Mr. Obama is President of the United States.

Marriage equality will not end heterosexism or homophobia. It won't even change everyone's hearts or minds. But, it will guarantee civil rights to people as they change. And, they will. Eventually.

Because of stories like Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer.

And, Lisa and Susan.

Here's Lisa's story. She writes:

When we married in 2008, it was festive and fun, filled with relatives and friends, at a lovely location on San Diego Bay. It was also during a conflicted time in my spiritual life, as a member of “that other catholic church.” The very morning of our wedding, rejection and invective was hurled at me as proxy for a whole swath of humanity via an angry little priest in Little Italy. The pain and anger of that morning was healed yesterday by an abundant outpouring of love and acceptance and inclusion.

And, here's Susan's. She writes:

And while we were asking our family for their blessing, claiming it, if you will, I realized that our marriage was in turn being claimed, being owned by this community. It wasn't just about the gift they were giving us, but making us and our marriage a gift to them.

When I wrote about our wedding in 2008, I commented that one of the things that struck us was the sense that marriage made us a thread in the tapestry of civil community, and added to its strength. Prop8 tried to cut that thread loose.

But this community, this family, yesterday deliberately took that thread, wove it in tighter, and moreover made it an integral part of the design.

And that's not only amazing, but very humbling.

Indeed it is, Susan. Indeed, it is.

It's the very best of church and state. Two separate entities in this country now woven together in this moment to be the very best for what this country - and our church - stand.

Author Uri Gordon once wrote that "The world is made up of stories, not atoms."

We know from the sacred stories of our Scripture that stories can heal even ancient wounds and right ancient wrongs.

Stories can soften our hardened hearts and inspire us to change our behavior which takes us off the path where we may catch a glimpse of the Realm of God.

The more of us who tell the truth of our stories - the inherent goodness and love which is at the core of our existence - the healthier and more moral a place the world will be.

The time has come and now is for Marriage Equality.

It's simply the right thing to do.

'Now' and 'Then'

I've just finished reading "Teachings on Love" by Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist Monk who is also a poet, scholar and human rights activist.

It was assigned reading for my class with Kwok Pui Lan on 'Spirituality for the Contemporary World'.

I read his book, "Being Peace" years ago. I am embarrassed to admit it now, but I  think I pretty much dismissed it then with the attitude that his spirituality was so high, it was personally unattainable.

I took what I could - a few small morsels which you will discover scattered here and there in this post - and left the rest in my naivete and ignorance.

To be honest, until then, all I really knew about Buddhism was what I learned by watching the television program "Kung Fu" with David Carradine. Never mind that this was a Caucasian man. It did become the vehicle of my curiosity, as I went through my prerequisite young adult phase of leaving the church to find a "better path" of my own spirituality.

I read and learned just enough to - much later, after I came back to church and eventually became an Episcopal priest - to teach Buddhist principles in my Confirmation Class.

We always did a component on World Religions, based on my belief from my own experience that knowledge of world religions is not only a "good thing"; it also helps you gain a better perspective on your own religion.

I have usually done an overview of all the religions of the world, and then focused in on one of the religions in more depth, depending on the curiosity and interest of the class.

I discovered that kids at that age - well, at least in the past nine years in a Northern NJ suburb - are keenly curious about Buddhism.

So, I taught about The Four Immeasurable Minds - loving kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity. And, the Five Elements (or skandhas) of the body - form, feeling, perceptions, mental formations and consciousness.

I told the kids that I had no problem embracing Buddhism because it was not a religion but rather a philosophy of life. One could, therefore, be a good Christian and a Buddhist, I said.

What I was really saying, I now know, was, "See how 'cool' I am?"

Indeed, I think one can take the spiritual and meditative practices of Buddhism and use them to become a better Christian. In fact, I do, myself. I practice "walking meditation" as well as meditation on the scripture of the day.

I taught one Confirmation Class how to meditate. They asked for it. Begged me to teach them. And, they loved it. They loved it so much that, from that point on, we started each class with a one to three minute time of meditation, gradually building up to five minutes.

Some of the kids told me that they used the techniques before taking an exam. One young man who was on the football team said that he used meditation before he went out on the field and found that his game had improved. "Even my coach says so," he joyfully declared.

The Buddhist principles are ideals, I remember saying to them, cautiously, but they are probably not attainable.

That young man stopped me short with a question: "But, Reverend Elizabeth," he said, "if what you are saying is right, then what you are really saying is that Buddhism is better than Christianity. I can be a Christian without breaking a sweat. I was baptized a Christian before I even knew I was a Christian or had anything to say about it, yes or no. Now, I come to class once a week for a year, I get a new suit, and some cool presents. I let the bishop put his hands on my head. Done. But, it takes real work to be a Buddhist. Is that what you're saying?"

The Buddha said, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

What he didn't say is that sometimes, the student becomes the teacher.

Ah, grasshopper!

I believe I gave that young man an answer that went something like well, yes, anybody can be a Christian through baptism, but it takes many, many years of work to become a good Christian.

I think he was okay with that answer, but I wasn't. I think what my answer revealed is just how little I knew about Buddhism.

I've been sitting with that question for two years. I thought I was just reading a book assigned to my class. I have begun to realize that Thich Nhat Hanh has come into my life at this moment to teach me how to better answer that question for myself - not just recite to others the things I know about Buddhism or other religions.

It came slowly, with just one concept. It was about the difference between happiness and joy.

Thich Nhat Hanh says that if you are very thirsty and you see a glass of water, you will experience joy. After you drink the water, you will experience happiness.

Insert cartoon of light bulb turning on here.

Let me explain.

I've been having a wonderful time here at EDS. I love being on campus. I love my classes. I think my professors are brilliant educators who are genuinely kind and compassionate and deeply spiritual people with a commitment to justice. I love conversations with students in class and in the Refectory. I love Cambridge and Boston.

Every now and again, I've experienced a wave of sadness as the thought enters my mind that this will, all too soon, come to an end. I'm happy here. Indeed, I'm beyond happy. I am often, and without explanation, positively joyful.

That's because I'm still thirsty and the glass of water is still here.

I will forever be happy that I had this time here as Proctor Scholar. Right now, I am joyful because I am here. Still seeing the glass of water in front of me. Still learning. Still thirsty. Still questing.

Yes, my time here as Proctor Scholar will come to an end. It must. But, I do not have to be anxious or sad about that. Indeed, because my time here will come to an end, I can be more joyful now so I can be happy later. In fact, because my time here is limited, it makes it even more special.

The Buddha said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

Jesus said, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:24-34)

What Jesus didn't say is that this practice will bring you joy. Maybe he did and his disciples just forgot to write it down. Or, it got lost in translation.

The Buddha also taught, “To understand everything is to forgive everything”.

I understand now, I think, why I had earlier dismissed Thich Nhat Hanh's book, "Being Peace" as a lovely ideal that is, ultimately, unattainable. Well, I don't claim to understand completely, but I have a better insight to my behavior.

At the time, I still needed to be at war with parts of myself. There were things that I had not forgiven - things done and left undone - that were still churning in my soul.

As I have found greater understanding, I've also found forgiveness. I think the hardest part of the work of forgiveness is the forgiveness of self.

Once one is able to forgive the self, it becomes easier to forgive others.  What I now understand is that the things that made me angriest in others were the very things I disliked most - but denied being - in myself. Forgiving that quality in myself frees me to forgive others with that same quality.

The Buddha says, “You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself.”

I cannot know the path of forgiveness until I become the path of forgiveness. I cannot know the path of joy until I become the path of joy. I cannot know the path of peace unless I become the path of peace.

In speaking about Compassion, Thich Nhat Hanh says,

"When I was a novice, I could not understand why, if the world is filled with suffering, the Buddha has such a beautiful smile. Why isn't he disturbed by all the suffering? Later I discovered that the Buddha has enough understanding, calm, and strength; this is why the suffering does not overwhelm him. He is able to smile to suffering because he knows how to take care of it and help transform it. We need to be aware of the suffering, but retain our clarity, calmness, and strength so we can help transform the situation. The ocean of tears cannot drown us if karuna (compassion) is there. That is why the Buddha's smile is possible."

And, I would add, so impossibly beautiful.

That takes a great deal of work - a lifetime for some - but it is attainable. I understand that, now. I know it now, not just with my mind but in my heart and in my soul.

I think knowing this will, in fact, make me a better Christian. I say that with deeper conviction - from a place of essential truth in me - than I was able to do even two years ago.

Thich Nhat Hanh says, "If you enjoy sitting meditation, practice sitting meditation. If you enjoy walking meditation, practice walking meditation. But preserve your Jewish, Christian or Muslim roots. That is the way to continue the Buddha's spirit. If you are cut off from your roots, you cannot be happy."

John J. Thatamanil is a Christian theologian who calls us to "Binocular Religious Wisdom" to learn more about God and our own religious experience through multiple religious participation.

He's written a wonderful essay for Huffington Post which also appears on the EDS Blog "99 Brattle". He writes:

"In an older era, a person was accounted wise if he or she attained to a practical mastery of one tradition. Think St. Francis of Assisi. But our age requires also (not instead of) a new kind of wisdom: the capacity to see the world through more than one set of religious lenses and to integrate into one life, insofar as possible, what is disclosed through those lenses. Think Mahatma Gandhi. His theory and practice of nonviolent resistance integrated ideas and practices drawn from Jainism, Christianity (Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in particular), and, of course, Hinduism.

For lack of a better phrase, I call this binocular wisdom, an extension from binocular vision, vision generated by both eyes, the only kind that yields depth perspective."

You can find the entire essay here. I encourage you to read it.

It took me awhile to adjust to my own 'bifocal' glasses when I got them a few years ago. Walking up or down stairs became a lesson in being more aware of the placement of my feet and the movement of my body. Managing and escalator was, at first, a fairly intense opportunity to practice mindfulness.

Once I got used to wearing them, I became deeply grateful for them. I was able to see so much more - things I didn't even know I had been missing.

The Buddha says, “When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”

I imagine Jesus and Buddha, walking together. They are not just in the 'then' of happiness, they are in the 'now' of joy. And, they are laughing at the sky.

I understand that the work of life - my life, anyway - is to be more and more in the 'now', and, finding joy there, to discover that, every now and again, I have joined them, laughing at the sky.