Telling Secrets
"Finally, I suspect that it is by entering that deep place inside us where our secrets are kept that we come perhaps closer than we do anywhere else to the One who, whether we realize it or not, is of all our secrets the most telling and the most precious we have to tell." Frederick Buechner
Come in! Come in!
"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein
Monday, November 18, 2024
FB Reflection: Resistance!
Good Monday morning, comrades who struggle for truth, and justice, and to stay on The Way.
I've been thinking of ways that I can be part of the Great Resistance we're going to need to get through the next 2-4 years (two years to flip at least one House of Congress in the midterms, four years to flip the White House).
Not all of us can be like Nancy Pelosi and stand up and point our finger at The Oppressor in a room full of His Men (see that famous picture posted below), but we can do what she did and take a picture he posted because he thought he was making fun of her and turn it around as a picture of the triumph and strength of The Good when it stands up to The Evil.
The first is that I am going to work really hard at being kind to myself so my first impulse will be to be kind to others.
That's a slightly different slant from The Prayer of St. Francis. I know this is going to sound like heresy to some, but I think there is a slight flaw in that most beloved prayer.
See? I don't think you can give away what you don't have. You can't sow love in the face of hatred if you don't love yourself. You can't sow faith if your mind and heart are filled with doubt.
You can't sow kindness if you are not, first, kind to yourself.
At least, I can't. If you can, well, you're a much better person than I, which is not hard to imagine.
So, yes, when I see someone with a Red MAGA Hat, I will take a deep breath, smile, and say, "Good morning."
But, I can not do that unless I am, gracious and kind to myself.
That does not mean, however, that I am not ready to protest and march and perform acts of civil disobedience and go to jail. It does mean that I am not willing to surrender my basic humanity to the representation of a force for cruelty and evil.
What's that old saying? Ah yes, "Smile. It makes some people wonder what you're up to."
Think of it: A smile as an act of subversion. Makes it easier to smile, doesn't it?
So yes, I will be kind to myself so that I can be kind to others. I think self-kindness can be a superpower when you - and the other people to whom you are kind - need to rise up and face the hatred that will be coming our way.
Or, the hatred coming the way of people we love.
And, make no mistake. It is coming. In fact, in some places, it is already here. Some people of color, some Hispanics, some LGBTQ+ people, including some adolescents, are getting text messages telling them that they have been selected for deportation, or to report to a re-education camp.
It is now law in Texas, by executive order of the governor, that you must show evidence of citizenship before being treated in the Emergency Room. It's not that they won't treat you. The Govn'r says it's to have a running count on how much it costs to treat "illegals". Right.
A friend who is a social worker said that the same thing happened in a hospital on the Eastern Shore. I understand that the ER person was fired.
And, of course, you know of the demonstration that happened at the campus of Texas State where men carried signs that said, "Women are Property" and "Homo Sex is Sin." This happened the day after the election.
This is just the beginning. (If you are one of the people who has gotten a text, please report this to the FBI (1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324) or online at tips.fbi.gov.)
So, I am going to make a regular, searing inventory of myself. I'm going to work very hard at improving my strengths and equally hard on discovering why it is I have a tendency to do some of the things I do and say, and pray for the wisdom and courage to change the things I need to change.
This is very important. It's like Lent only more intense because now, the stakes are high. As one 80-year-old woman said to me in church yesterday, "I'm willing to die protesting in the streets if I have to because at least I'll die for what it is I believe."
If I'm going to die for what I believe, I'm going to be damn straight clear about what it is I believe and what I stand for, and who I am. Otherwise, it will be a waste of a perfectly good life.
I don't know about you, but some people are so clear about who they are and why they were put on this earth that all they have to do is stand up in a room filled with adversity and point their finger, and even though we don't know what was said, everyone knows.
Everyone knows. Everyone is perfectly clear.
I can't be Nancy Pelosi but I want to be more like Nancy Pelosi. And, Hillary Clinton. And, Kamala Harris. And, Maize Hirono. And, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. And, Pramila Jayapal. And, Elizabeth Warren. Oh, and, Meryl Streep.
I'm willing to bet good money that those women have gotten their superpowers because they regularly do a searching inventory of themselves - of their strengths and weaknesses;
the places in their souls where there is darkness and those places where there is light;
the places they need to be consoled so they can console others;
the goodness they can receive so they can give to others;
the places in their soul that need pardoning so that they can forgive and pardon others.
the places in their soul that need to die so they can help to call into creation new ways of being, new ways of helping people in need, and new ways of respecting (and restoring) the dignity of every human being.
I've learned that I can't magically pray myself into those things. It takes work. Hard work. Painful work.
Saying The Prayer of St. Francis doesn't make it happen, but with hard work and a little Divine assistance, we can be the kind of person we want to be, the person we know in our bones that God created us to be, and do our part in the Resistance we will need.
That will take a lot of self-care. And self-care, for many of us, especially women, is hard work. But, as Kamala says, hard work is good work.
Self-care is important if you are a member of the 'target demographic' of the incoming administration - immigrants, LGBTQ+ people - especially trans people - Hispanics, people of color, "fertile" women - but it is especially important for those of us who are deeply committed to making sure no harm comes to them.
For me, it's personal. For me, that means getting ready to protect and defend the hard-working, amazing Brazilian couple who clean our home every two weeks. It means the fabulous waiter at our favorite diner who has amazed us with his mastery of the English language from his native Turkish. The Columbian men who tend to our yard with great care, and the Guatemalan men who painted the inside of our home several years ago and are now thriving entrepreneurs with a working permit and a visa. The trans daughter whom I love of a dear friend of my heart. The transwoman I only know on FB but with whom I've had transformative conversations.
Good thing Advent is right around the corner. It will give me four dedicated weeks of work, four dedicated weeks of birth pangs, and four weeks to strengthen this beloved creature of God so that may better love myself and be kind to myself so I can better love and be kind to others.
I'm ready to do the work.
I hope something good happens to you today.
Sunday, November 17, 2024
FB Reflection: Holy anger
Good Sunday morning, comrades in the struggle to stay on The Way. It's a lovely morning here but it is only 43 degrees. My mood, however, is a closer match to the cold than the bright sunshine that Mother Nature is providing.
I know. It's Sunday. I'm headed off to church. I should really get my act together. But, I'm frustrated. I feel like Jesus in this morning's gospel. The disciples are busy oohing and aahing over the large stones and Jesus is trying to get them to focus on what is and what is to come.
My heart is breaking after yet another conversation with another gay or trans friend who is planning to leave the country because they are so afraid of what will happen. This is especially so for my trans friends who fear that they will not be able to get their medication, but are more afraid of the violence that will soon increase, putting their very lives in danger.
I am angry about those friends of mine who caution me about my anger, who are made uncomfortable by it, who want me to "calm down" and "spend some time in quiet".
As if I haven't.
I think I'm most upset by the very noble posts on FB, made mostly by white men and some women of privilege, who post memes about being kind and having empathy or write lofty prayers about having our will bent to the will of God.
I always get a bit nudgy when the language of "my will bending to God's will" gets trotted out. In my experience, it's never about God's will but the writer's understanding or expectation about what God's will is which he seems to know precisely what that is for me, which is pretty much that I "behave" in a way that stops making him nudgy.
So, in my morning meditation, I searched for a few minutes to find Audre Lorde's book. I always find great comfort and affirmation and inspiration in "Sister Outsider". I've posted three of my favorite quotes, but I think the one that speaks most clearly to me this morning is:
"I can not hide my anger to spare your guilt, nor hurt feelings, nor answering anger; for to do so trivializes all our efforts."
An image keeps returning to me of an old woman I met in the Cardiac Unit at Mass General Hospital when I was doing my second unit of CPE in seminary.
She was Roman Catholic and, in Boston, we were not allowed by hospital policy, to see any Roman Catholic patients. So, I was talking to the patient in the bed next to her when her priest came in. He was a fairly corpulent cleric, all full of cheer and "joy in the Lord."
"Hey, Mary," he called. "How are we doing?"
"Well, Father," she said, "I'm going to have open heart surgery. They tell me they are going to crack my chest and that I'll be in a fair amount of pain after. So, you know, I'm pretty scared."
"Scared?" the good Father roared, "no need to be scared. Have a little faith, Mary! God will be with you. Here, now I'll say a prayer and give you communion."
And, he did and then left in the same swirl of "joy in the Lord" in which he arrived.
The woman sat in her bed, weeping softly. My patient looked at me and said, "Go to her."
I knew I was breaking the rule. I knew I could have been "written up" for my "behavior". I knew the incident could be reported to my bishop and the Commission on Ministry.
My head knew all that but my heart informed my feet to move and I found myself over at Mary's bedside. "Well, that was quite something, wasn't it?" I asked qently. "You okay?"
She smiled and looked deep into my eyes and said, "Well, the good news is that, as afraid as I am, I'm not half as afraid as him."
"Ah," said I, "let's talk about being afraid."
And, for the next half hour, we did, my Protestant patient joining in the conversation with Mary and me so I wouldn't be in so much trouble.
Mary's words give me a bit of an insight into my siblings’ intense need to tell us about "quiet" and "calm" and "bending our will to God's will" and "empathy".
They're talking to themselves. They're saying what they need to hear for themselves. Understanding that, I can find empathy. For them. Not for those who delight in oppressing me, or sticking their finger in my wound, or shrug their shoulders about the obscenity of the incoming administration's cabinet because, well, you know, "the economy will be better".
I have empathy for the oppressors because I know, as James Baldwin taught, that prejudice, bigotry and race hatred may harm the body of its targets, it also rots the soul of the oppressor.
So, I'm just going to take my pissed-off self to church this morning and ask God to bless my anger and help me to find a channel for it to "make some noise" and "make some good trouble, some necessary trouble".
I'm going to pray for the wisdom and courage to follow The Way of Jesus, especially as I see him respond to the disciples' "Idolatry of the Stones" by not backing down and not giving up on his vision of what is and what will be.
He stays focused. God help me stay focused and not be deterred, even by my own anger and frustration.
Help me to discern and listen more closely to your voice rather than the well-intentioned voices that ask me to listen to them.
Help me to know that my anger is a holy gift.
It is the divine spark to challenge evil.
It is the energy to bring about change.
It is the vehicle to find hope.
In other words, I'm going to take care of myself in the best way I know how: To bring my whole self before the altar of God and ask God to bless me and my integrity and my authenticity and help me be more of myself and more of the person God created me to be.
I hope something good happens to you today.
Bom dia.
Saturday, November 16, 2024
Good trouble, necessary trouble
Good Saturday morning, dear companions in the long, ongoing struggle for truth, justice, and the will and the courage to stay on The Way.
I've been looking at the lectionary lessons for tomorrow, Sunday, the 26th Sunday after Pentecost. The Sunday before the Sunday of The Sovereignty of Christ. Two Sundays before the first Sunday of Advent. (Can you believe it????)
Here's what I'm looking at:
Track 1
1 Samuel 1:4-20
1 Samuel 2:1-10
Hebrews 10:11-14 (15-18) 19-25
Mark 13:1-8
They're all here https://www.lectionarypage.net/YearB_RCL/Pentecost/BProp28_RCL.html
G'won over and peruse them. It'll help you understand what it is I'm talking about. I'll wait. Promise.
Hi, welcome back. So, I don't know what popped out at you but after about the third time through, my eyes were opened to see four very different models of spiritual leadership, four different ways of being a priest, ordained or baptized member of the Priesthood of All Believers.
The first is Eli. To be fair and honest, a man of his time: A real misogynist. He uses his power and authority in arrogance and judgment. He can't hear Hannah's fervent prayer. He thinks Hannah is drunk. He's wrong. To his credit, his heart does soften to her the perils of her state and offers her hope and assurance.
The second is Hannah. Oh, just listen to the power of her song! She has suffered and been relieved. She has dared to hope and dream and her hopes and dreams have been fulfilled. And from that place of deep gratitude, she invites everyone into the song. She asks everyone to pick up their timbrel, clap their hands, and rejoice in the small and large victories of life.
A thought: You know that Mary had learned the songs of Miriam, Deborah, and Hannah which shaped and formed her own song of praise. And, you just know that, from the earliest times of his hearing, Jesus listened to all of these songs. It shaped and formed him, too. His "Lord's Prayer" echoes the notes of the songs of all of these women.
Anyway, onto the author of Hebrews - whoever he was or she who influenced his writing. What a great model of priesthood. Listen to some of the words of pastoral encouragement:
+ hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering
+ consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds
+ not neglecting to meet together
+ encouraging one another
I don't know about you, but in these very dark days of uncertainty and the intentional provocation of fear, I need to hear these words.
I hear the words of John Lewes, who also asked us not to be afraid but to provoke each other into "good trouble, necessary trouble." I'm feeling that call very deeply right now. I don't know about you, but even as I grieve, I feel I am being "provoked" to tough love and hope and community and encouragement of myself and others.
I also hear the words of Blessed George Regas, one-time rector of All Saints, Pasadena, and Giant of Justice, who encouraged us by saying, "The way we get where we're going is to set audacious goals and celebrate incremental victories."
And then, of course, there's Jesus, our great high priest, who is out with his disciples who are dazzled by the Very Big Stones in the Very Big Buildings. It's what one commentator called "The Idolatry of The Stones." (PS He wasn't talking about The Rolling Stones. Or, the other stones, either.)
Jesus is telling his disciples not to be distracted but to stay focused. Stay the course. He says,
"Many will come in my name and say, ‘I am he!’ and they will lead many astray. When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed; this must take place, but the end is still to come. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. This is but the beginning of the birthpangs.”
The disciples can't see it. They won't be able to see it for a long time. We can't see it either. Not with tears in our eyes and anxiety in our hearts. We won't be able to see it for a long time. But we will. We will.
The leadership we see of Jesus in this passage is that of the Prophet - the ability to see ahead and offer hope and consolation and teaching and guidance NOW.
Four different ways of leadership in tough times.
One way is that of reexamining your assumptions, softening your heart, changing your mind, and offering comfort and hope.
One way is subverting the dominant paradigm of power and walking through suffering and oppression with your head held high, not taking on anyone else's definition of who you are. Indeed, inviting others into gratitude and celebration.
One way is being a provocateur of love and good trouble; to be part of a community of love and encouragement, even if it's you who has to call that community together.
And finally, the way of being prophetic, calling people away from the idolatry of the now and the big and the shiny, and guiding them to remember who they are and whose they are and to hold fast to their values and beliefs.
One way or all four ways. Choose one. Or, two. Or, all. Whatever your choice, whether you are ordained or laity, know that you have ancient models of how to be baptized members of The Priesthood of All Believers.
I'm going to leave you with some words from someone I thing embodies all four models of Priestly, Prophetic Leadership. Bishop Steve Charleston wrote these words in 2018. Listen:
"No task is too great when you have the Spirit beside you, no call to leadership beyond what you can do. No challenge is too difficult, no goal too distant, no hope too much of a long shot. You have the sacred up your sleeve. You have the wisdom, patience, and vision you need to gather others to support the work at hand. Even time can be bent for you. Plans can be changed. Do not wring your hands before the demands of your situation, but raise them in prayer. Get the holy alliance of hope and determination going and see for yourself what is possible when faith leads the way."
I hope something good happens to you today. (How could it not? Remember, "You have the sacred up your sleeve," and "Even time can be bent for you.")
Bom dia!
Wednesday, November 13, 2024
A Lament
This reflection is about lament. It's a little long, so if your tolerance is short, best to scroll on by right now.
Before I begin, I want to tell you briefly about my understanding of a biblical lament. A lament is understood as a form of prayer that involves expressing sorrow, regret, or unhappiness, and then calling out to God. It's a way to process pain and find hope.
Far from being a 'pity party' or a time of self-indulgence, a lament is a way to reconstruct meaning in the very midst of suffering. It is a way to shape faith after it has been shattered.
A lament is a transformative way to understand God's character and actions. It is decidedly NOT passive but its power lies in its raw authenticity and deep integrity.
Classic biblical laments, like Psalm 13 and the Book of Job end with a decision to trust in God, which allows the psalmist to even sing God's praise.
This is a lament. These days, I am feeling a little like Hannah on the steps of the Temple. We're going to read a wee bit of her story this Sunday. (1 Samuel 1:4-20) Well, if you follow Track I in the lectionary.
Hannah had a good husband, one who loved and cherished
her, but she was unable to bear a child - a son - which was a woman's only insurance in antiquity.
So she went to the Temple and, in her despair, cried out to God, begging to deliver her from her fragile and vulnerable situation, promising God that the male child she would have would be dedicated solely to God.
In her despair, she was praying but not aloud. Her lips were moving but she made no sound. She didn't need to. Her lament was addressed directly to God.
Eli, the Temple priest, saw her there, on the Temple steps. He couldn't hear what she was saying so, of course, thought the worst. He thought she was drunk.
So, he yelled at her. Chastized her. Shamed her. Told her she was disgracing herself and to put away the wine.
Sound familiar? Anyone? I'm betting lots of women know similar stories and have been in similar places and spaces like Hannah.
We know about this kind of misogyny as well as the everyday, run-of-the-mill "micro-oppression." The side-glances. The dismissive tone they are unable to hear as such because they are really, seriously, honestly, being sincere. Bless their hearts.
I am so tired - so sick and bloody tired of being sick and bloody tired - of being told to be still, be quiet and listen - especially "listen to/for" The Spirit.
Here's the thing: I HAVE been listening. The problem is that Episcopalians have been carefully taught - lulled into believing - that The Spirit sounds "like the murmur of the dove's song." And, don't we just love to clap our hands and sway to "The Sweet, Sweet, Spirit in this place"?
Of course, we do, and this is not to deny that the Holy Spirit can sound like both of those things. But, if you've not met Shekinah Spirit, let me introduce you.
Shekinah is a Hebrew word that refers to the divine presence of God, or the visible manifestation of God's presence among Her people. The word is a transliteration of a Hebrew word that means "the one who dwells" or "that which dwells".
Shekinah is known as "the divine feminine spirit," but don't ever confuse her for a lady with an apron, pearls, and proper pumps who serves tea from a silver tea set.
Shekinah is a badass woman. You do not want to mess with her.
Ah, think I've lost it? Think I've gone over the edge? Think my anger has driven me a bit mad? Well, I have sisters who know better. Sisters - mostly of color - who have taught me about her.
Kristen Johnson Ingram describes her this way: "Shekinah takes other names. She is Shabbat, she is Presence and she is Spirit, the Hebrew Ruach.
In the beginning, Breath or Spirit or Wind rippled over the face of the womb of creation, brooded over and within the womb, stirred the waters to break and gush out and let God give birth to everything."
"She has come as Wind, a passionate intuition, as a blinding light, and a breath-sucking presence. This ain't no handmaiden but a queen, not whispering but crying out like a hoyden in the streets, bringing no consolation but urgency of motion."
I've been listening to her, Shekinah. Hers is no dove murmuring a song. She is howling like a wounded animal for all of her children who have been and will be harmed and injured. She is roaring like a lion because Her pride is threatened by predators, frauds, and thieves who are now in the highest positions of power.
This is my lament to her, as I sit outside the Temple, on the steps. It is based on Psalm 13 and the writings of Kristen Johnson Ingram and inspired by our sister Hannah.
How long, O Presence of God, will you hide your face?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?
How long will I be mocked and derided?
How long will all that I abhor triumph over me?
Help me not to run from the fire of Divine Love
Let me not settle for warmth but to burn with passion.
Help me live up to your demand to be w/holy as you are.
Consume me - swallow me alive - so I can be more of myself
than I ever dreamed I could be
Help me to eat, yes, a little of this bread,
Help me to drink, yes, a little of this wine.
just to wash it down so I'll grow strong.
Breathe on me until I am filled with your Holy Spirit
Make me fit for the Realm of God.
I sing your praise because you are badass.
You will not let your daughters suffer
nor your sons commit abominations.
I will sing your praise as a song for the journey
As I turn my passion into compassion
and work to bring your justice, your peace
into a world that is broken and dark and
in need of your Light.
This is my lament. Amen.
NOTE: "Hannah on the Temple Steps." Image by Carrie Kleinberger, an "imaginative realist" from Minnesota, she retired from a 21-year career as a public defender for Juvenile and Family Court in Ramsey and Washington Counties in 2001 and works in oil on canvas and on wood panels.
Saturday, October 05, 2024
Job and Marcellus Williams
A Saturday morning Reflection on Facebook.
By the grace and mercy of God or St. Michael or St. Gabriel or Peter Pan or Tinkerbell, or whoever is in charge of these sorts of things in the cosmos this weekend, I am not preaching on Sunday or have any liturgical duties or responsibilities.
Even so, I find that the story of Job - the first lesson in Track I of the lectionary - has been with me all week. It's the story in scripture - though not of real characters - of the epic battle between good and evil, God and Satan.
The richness of the story which lends its durability comes from its many layers of human behavior and deistic thought. It's a story about the problems of monotheism in a pluralistic culture, and the role of community - Job's "friends" - in the midst of great unmerited, inexplicable, and monstrous suffering.
The story raises more questions than provides answers:
Why do bad things happen to good people? How could a loving God be so casually cruel and use such unjustifiable tyranny? What is required of faith in the presence of Evil when we believe the source to be a 'test' from God?
What is to be done about the problem of Evil? Does it come about because God can be so easily seduced by Lucifer? Is it a real entity or a spirit that blows into the soul of a human being, wreaking havoc and mayhem, leading them to make impossible choices for good or ill?
I've been thinking back to when I was newly ordained and hearing the story of a man who had been ordained a deacon with the apostolate of prison ministry and was studying for the priesthood.
Here's the thing: the aspirant for holy orders was serving a life sentence for the murder of his wife and the attempted murder of his infant son.
In 1967, Vaughn Brooks, a 25-year old Black man and member of the historically Black Church, St. Thomas' Church in West Philadelphia, came home at 4 AM after a night of card playing and beer drinking "with the boys," and observed a man leaving his apartment.
When he confronted his wife, Annabelle, she told him that the man had been her lover and that the 15-month old male child asleep in the nursery - Vaughn, Jr. - was not his son but the child she had conceived with her lover.
Mr. Brooks left the room, retrieved his bow and arrow, returned to the bedroom, and let five arrows fly - two to her neck and two to her chest. They entered her body with such force that she was pinned to the mattress.
He said, "I think what was going through my mind was that I was going to kill my whole family."
He then went to the nursery and started to strangle the infant he had thought was his son but then "something made him stop" and he revived the child.
He claims no memory of the confession he scribbled on the kitchen wall -- a few short sentences distinguished by the fact that he corrected his spelling.
Crossing the street, he knocked on the door of his parents' home, told them what had happened, and telephoned the police.
He confessed to murder and was sentenced to life in prison at the Pennsylvania State Correctional Institution outside of Philadelphia. While there, Vaughn came to the attention of the Rev. Frederick F. Powers, an institutional chaplain with Episcopal Community Services of the Pennsylvania Diocese.
Chaplain Powers detected in Booker what the Bishop described as a “serious interest” in the church. The chaplain gave the prisoner some basic studies in the Bible and theology and endorsed him as a lay reader to assist in services at the prison.
At Chaplain Powers's urging, the Right Rev. Robert L. DeWitt, bishop of PA, visited the inmate in prison and reported that he had been impressed by Booker's “earnestness and intelligence.”
After the advice and counsel of the Commission on Ministry and with the approval of the Standing Committee, Bishop DeWitt approved Booker for postulancy.
After a two-year course of study supervised by four priests, he was ordained deacon and then priest.
Eventually, Booker was paroled and released from prison and was called to serve as rector of Meade Memorial Church in Alexandria, VA.
Booker - then 50 years old, three months ordained, nine years removed from the Pennsylvania penal system, a convicted murderer and a priest of God - preached his first sermon.
He offered no further details but disclosed his crime indirectly, preaching of Moses, who murdered an Egyptian and buried his body; David, who lusted for Bathsheba and gave the orders that led to her husband's slaughter; and Paul, who minded the cloaks at Stephen's stoning and "was consenting unto his death."
Each of these biblical heroes, Booker said, was stained by the gravest of sins. Each was redeemed through the extravagant forgiveness of God.
"Scripture tells us that there is great cheering and great celebration in heavenly skies when the sinner who was lost is found," he said.
Meade Memorial Church- which had not had a pastor for 18 years or a Black pastor for 25 years - erupted in cheers.
How does it happen? How does the man who pulled the bowstring rise to become an Episcopal priest, entrusted with the souls of an entire community? And why does his wife's ghastly murder endure, for some, as the first act in a parable of divine mercy rather than the last act in a parable of divine indifference?
I have those questions written down in the chapter of Job in the copy of the Bible I used for study while I was in seminary.
All these many years later, I still have the same answer:
I don't know.
I do know that, all these many years later, I still need to learn lessons about my vulnerability and weakness and the strength of the divine spark within me to claim those two human qualities as companions who know the pathway to God.
I still need to learn what the story of Job has to teach me about mutual interdependency, compromise, and what constitutes "help" before I take my leave.
I think there is a key to these lessons in what Jesus has to say in Mark's Gospel for Sunday:
"Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.”
And then, and THEN, scripture tells us, Jesus "took them (the little children) up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them."
I think the mystery of THAT love, the love that is a reflection of "love divine, all loves excelling" may well be the only answer we ever receive to Job's questions.
On this side of the veil, anyway.
Off I go into this day. My heart is filled with gratitude for the love of family and friends and all the lessons life brings us in all its peculiar and unexpected ways.
I hope something good happens to you today.
Bom dia.
PS:
Sunday, September 29, 2024
For a time such as this
Queen Esther (אֶסְתֵּר Hadassah) by Edwin Long
"For Such A Time As This"
St. John the Evangelist Episcopal Church, Milton, DE
Pentecost XIV - Proper 21 B
September 29, 2024
Esther 7:1-6, 9-10; 9:20-22
Psalm 124
James 5:13-20
Mark 9:38-50
Of course, I could be wrong, but I think it was Walter Brueggemann
who said, “I take the bible too seriously to take it literally.” There is lots
of humor in the bible but we miss it because we take it too literally. Take,
for example, this morning’s Gospel. Granted, you have to embroider the story a
little bit to find the humor, but stay with me and let’s find it together.
Jesus and his disciples have been walking together through Galilee and the
Villages of Caesarea Philippi (which sounds to me like one of the many new suburban
developments somewhere in Sussex County), through Capernaum. Along the way, the
disciples have been talking amongst themselves about “who is the greatest”.
Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of
all.” He tells them that the Realm of God must be entered “as vulnerable
as a little child.”
This morning, we hear John say to Jesus, “Teacher, we saw someone casting
out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following
us.” Did you catch that? John did not say, “He was not following YOU.”
No, John said, “Not following US.”
Again, with the inflated ego. Follow US, not Jesus. Now, in my religious
imagination, I think Mark left out a verse. Or, maybe someone coming after him
decided that, since it was such a short verse, it could be dropped. But, I think
that in between what John said and how Jesus answers could have probably been
one of the most powerful short sentences in scripture since the verse, “And,
Jesus wept.”
I think that before Jesus goes into the obvious hyperbole about tying
millstones around the necks of people, and cutting off feet and hands and
plucking out eyes, is probably the verse: “And, Jesus did a facepalm.”
I mean, seriously! How dense are these apostles? Well, probably about as dense
as those of us who take the bible so literally that there have been those who
have actually tied millstones around necks of people and watched them drown, or
literally cut off body parts, comforted by their self-righteousness that they
were only following the words of Jesus.
The Bible has many funny moments—though you might not know it from the history
of Christian interpretation. Nietzsche’s biggest complaint about Christians is that
we are a joyless people. Theologian Paul Tillich said he almost left Christianity
for the same reason.
One of the best examples of humor in the bible, not as well-known as the story of
Jonah and the Whale, is the story of Esther. That reading was one of the
options we have for today’s lesson from Hebrew Scripture, but since it was not chosen,
allow me a few minutes to summarize the book for you, with the encouragement
that you take a few moments out of your afternoon Sabbath, find your bible,
dust it off, and read the Book of Esther. You won’t be disappointed. I promise.
I want to use the story of Esther because I think Jesus knew it and understood the tool of hyperbole as a way of making a point. And it certainly seems that the disciples need a verbal hit upside the head to understand something about leadership and ministry.
Fair warning: You may miss the humor in the book if you are reading it with
your Victorian scruples intact. The great Protestant theologian Calvin didn’t
include Esther in his biblical commentaries. And, the great theologian of the
Reformation, Martin Luther, felt it had “too much pagan naughtiness.”
So, admit
it. Now you want to run home and read it, right?
So, here's a brief summary: The Book of Esther tells the story celebrated at The
Jewish Festival of Purim. It’s the story of how Queen Esther and her cousin Mordecai
saved the Jewish people from the plot of the wicked Haman, who was advisor to
the Persian King Ahasuerus and who tried to have the Jews destroyed.
Understand: they are Jews living in the Persian diaspora. They are there
because they were under threat of genocide, living in a place where the
religion at the time was a sort of dualism. Persians worshipped one Supreme God
with occasional rare mentions of other Gods. Their Satan was elevated to a much
higher power and position, a near equal and opposite to God.
Esther is not your typical saint. She doesn’t conduct herself like someone who
is zealous about the law, yet she becomes a Jewish heroine. She doesn’t rise up
from unsavory circumstances ringed with white blossoms of purity like St.
Agnes, who was thrown into a brothel but remained, miraculously, immaculate.
Esther is decidedly not a heroine of the nunnish type.
She becomes a heroine because she takes a bold risk of faith. Queen Esther
decides to speak to the King about Haman’s plan to kill all the Jews even
though an appearance at the King’s Court, without an invitation, is punishable
by death. It’s the words of her uncle Mordecai that inspire her:
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14)
Who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this? I don’t know about you, but I hear an echo of Mordecai’s words in the admonition of Jesus to the apostles:
“Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. Whoever is not against us is for us.” (Mark 9:38-41)
We also hear an echo of this position in the words of James, the brother of Jesus, which we heard this morning:
“My brothers and sisters, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and is brought back by another, you should know that whoever brings back a sinner from wandering will save the sinner's soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” (James 5:13-19)
Whoever brings back a sinner from wandering.
Whoever is not against us is for us.
And, who knows that you have come to your position for such a time as this?
My friends, hear me: I know
you are grieving this morning. I am keenly aware that last Sunday was your farewell
to your beloved Pastor Tom. Your Senior Warden and I discussed this when we
talked about my being with you this morning. As a Hospice Chaplain, I am well acquainted
with the workings of grief. I know that the hearts of many of you are probably
feeling a bit tender and sore. You are grieving and anxious and that is to be understood.
I know Tom came to you when you were not feeling loved or loveable. I know his
love for you built up this congregation from a mere 15 to, at times, 75 – more at
High Holy Days. I know some of you are afraid that you will never find another
priest and pastor to love you the way Pastor Tom did. It’s going to be hard to
trust anyone – me, other supply clergy, your interim priest, or even your new
rector when she or he comes.
That’s a reasonable anxiety because here’s the hard truth: There will never be
another Pastor Tom. But, here’s another truth: That does not mean that you are
not loveable or that you will never find someone to love you again.
Here's another truth: In the midst of the pain of grief and anxiety of the
unknown, sometimes we confuse taking things literally with taking things
seriously. They are not the same. Taking things literally can cost you one of
the strongest medicines known to the entire human enterprise: Laughter.
It’s so
important not to take things literally but not so seriously that you lose the
ability to laugh at yourself. Don’t be afraid to do a facepalm at yourself
every now and again. I have no doubt that Jesus did. Because Jesus knew what it
was to be human.
Voltaire said it best: "God is a comedian playing to an audience that is
too afraid to laugh.”
Now, even now, God has already prepared people who will be raised up “for such
a time as this”. There are those among you who learned the lessons of love of the
past decade and are willing to take the risks of faith to trust others. Now,
even now, God is already preparing leaders, laity and ordained, “for such a
time as this” who will walk with you into the future.
In the midst of your grief and sorrow – which is good and right and proper
for you to experience because you have had a great loss – know that we are
people of the Eucharist and Resurrection. We are people of Thanksgiving and Life
Eternal. God will never leave us comfortless. Be assured by the words of our
Eucharistic liturgy during a funeral:
“. . . . for we know that life is changed, not ended.”
Life is changed, not ended. That includes our congregational life.
Know that there are Esthers and Mordecais, Eldads and Medads, and Joshua son of Nun, and yes, Hamans and unruly Kings among us. There are also wise teachers like James and Moses, and those who understand the hyperbole in the words of Jesus teaching who can help us laugh at ourselves and do a facepalm when that’s exactly the medicine we need to take.
Open your heart to it all, my friends. Nobody ever looked back and said, “I could have loved less.” Open your heart even though it makes you as vulnerable as a child.
For such is the Realm of God.
For such a time as this.
Amen.
Sunday, September 22, 2024
Like a child
St. Mark's Episcopal Church - Millsboro, DE
Pentecost XVIII - Proper XX - September 22, 2024
Track 1 | ||
Proverbs 31:10-31 Psalm 1 James 3:13-4:3, 7-8a Mark 9:30-37 |
Some of you may already know – and, if you don’t, you will soon discover – that
Ted, your new Priest in Charge, is a big fan of Amy Jill Levine. Huge. I don’t
know what he has in store for your Advent Christian Education Series, but I am
willing to bet solid money that it – and/or a few of his sermons – will at
least include some of Amy Jill Levine’s work.
There is good reason for this. Amy Jill Levine rocks. Hard. AJ (as she prefers
to be called) is Professor of New Testament and Jewish Studies at Hartford
International University for Religion and Peace. Yes, I said, New Testament AND
Jewish Studies. If you stop and think about that for a minute, you’ll see that
it isn’t so strange.
The Gospels are all about the teachings of a Rabbi from Nazareth and the
Epistles were written by Jewish men. Who better to help us understand the
teachings of the Rabbi we follow than a good Rabbinical scholar?
I’ve heard AJ lecture several times. She’s really good: smart and funny and
edgy and provocative. She’s a lot like Jesus. During one of her lectures, Levine
told us about her son. He was a little boy at the time. He had curly hair, she
said. Altogether adorable. Imagine that little boy is sitting in the front row
every time you preach, she said. Right there in front of you. Never say
anything that will harm that little Jewish boy.
I remember that statement so vividly because I remember preaching in front of
my own kids when they were little. I remember thinking that I never wanted to
preach a sermon that they would be ashamed of – or that would shame any one of
them. Or, that wouldn’t be the truth spoken from my heart. Never say anything
that will harm a little child.
In this morning’s gospel, Jesus takes a little child by the hand and says to
the disciples, See this child? This child right here? This is what the reign of
God looks like. THIS, not some old man or old woman with a crown sitting on a
throne.
I know what you’re thinking. Children don’t have any status. They are little
more than chattel, which can be bought and sold like the women who are their
mothers – despite what we read this morning from the Book of Wisdom about wives.
And yet, this is what the reign of God looks like. This is who the reign of God
belongs to. So, says Jesus, wise up and welcome them.
But, the disciples, it seems were pretty clueless. There are 16 chapters in Mark’s
Gospel. We’re at chapter 9 – more than half way through. Jesus has said and
done lots of things. Amazing things. Astounding things. Miraculous things. And
yet, the disciples don’t get it.
After Jesus explains to them – albeit in the third person – about what is going
to happen to him, Mark tells us that they had been arguing among themselves
about who was the greatest. Seriously! Apparently, the boxer Muhammed Ali was
not the first to concern himself with the status of the greatest. Apparently,
he isn’t the last. Probably won’t be, either.
I imagine the disciples look
at themselves rather sheepishly. I mean, who started that conversation anyway? Was
it Peter? Nah, he really hadn’t been the same since Jesus changed his name from
Simon. It had to be the Sons of Thunder, James and John. They might have been thinking,
“Why did we allow ourselves to get caught up in that discussion in the first
place?”
That’s when Jesus, rather than rebuke them, takes a little child by the hand.
Maybe the little boy or girl was standing nearby. Maybe playing with a toy.
Maybe minding her own business. Maybe paying close attention to the energy in
the room. Jesus takes that little one and puts her center stage. I imagine the
room goes silent.
Taking the child in his arms,
Jesus says to the disciples, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name
welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.”
You see this child? This face? These curls? Keep them in front of you, Jesus
says. Let them be your guide to my reign. Don’t do anything that will hinder or
harm them. Look to them first, before you speak or offer admission or try to
describe what I came here to do. This little one is all you need to know about
that. Keep her safe. Keep him safe. And know that whenever you welcome one of
these little ones, you welcome me and the One who sent me.
Not a lot of churches I help out in these days have a child – much less
children – sitting in the pew. Sometimes, when I look out at you, sitting there
in the congregation, I try to imagine your faces when you were little children.
If you see me looking at you while the Hebrew Scripture or Epistle is being
read, that’s probably what I’m doing.
I imagine some of you were probably as mild mannered as you are today. But,
there are others of you . . . . well . . . . I’ll just say this: You didn’t develop that devilish smile or that
mischievous twinkle in your eye just yesterday. And I suspect some of you were
born with one hand on your hip and no one had to slip a nickel or a dime into
your hand to persuade you to be bossy.
I see the child in you. The playful child. The mischievous child. I also see the
child who was bullied. The child who was shamed. The child who never thought
she was good enough. The child who thought he’d maybe make the team but he’d never
be accepted.
I never want to hurt that child.
When I preach to you, I know that I am not only preaching to the person you are
today – the person you have become – I am also preaching to the child you once
were. That happy child and that hurt child are also here in this church this morning,
maybe minding their own business or toying with my words, paying close
attention to the energy in the church right now, trying to determine what “Mother”
will say or do next.
As I prepare to preach the Gospel – the Good News – to you, I remember all of
your faces and I hear Jesus whisper in my ear: This – THIS – is the realm of
God. This – THIS – is what God’s reign looks like. Do everything you can to challenge
them to take risks for the Gospel, but keep their souls safe. Protect them even
as you encourage them to stretch themselves in their faith.
And, if they fall – when they
fall – do everything you can to make sure someone – maybe not you, probably not
you, probably not even a deacon or a priest or a bishop – but someone in the
community is there to pick them up and dust them off and help them back on
their way.
For that is what the realm of God looks like, too: The people of God helping
the people of God to be better people of God. And that takes the vulnerability
and openness of a little child. It also takes the resilience of a faith tested
by time.
So, take a minute now to look around this church. Look into the faces of your
neighbor sitting next to you or in front of you or behind you. Go ahead, I
invite you to do that now. I invite you to say to each other, “You are an image
of God.”
And now say, “This is the Reign of God.”
You know, it helps to listen to good Rabbis, those who are Jewish, those who are
Christian, those who come to teach us the word of God not as one who is the
greatest, but from a place of truth and love in their hearts.
Amen.