Come in! Come in!
"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A lot on my plate
Most of our "stuff" is already in Delaware. There are a few odds and ends in Chatham. We've taken the last load of clothes - just out of the dry cleaner - to Good Will. I washed all the bed linens and some table cloths and napkins and sent them off to Good Will as well.
I keep walking around the house - which now has an odd, annoying echo - with my check list and colored stickers. Stuff for a local church yard sale in October = orange sticker. Stuff for the Good Will = green sticker. Black plastic bag = take to the dump. No sticker = pack in the car and take to Rehoboth Beach.
I've also been closing out stuff at the church. My Parish Administrator is also leaving. He starts his new job September 1st. We've worked together for the past five years. He's really the BEST. I'm thrilled for him but sad the church is losing such a wonderful, talented, skilled, competent staff person. We're having lunch together on Tuesday, his last day. I'm really looking forward to that.
I'm still having looonnnnggg conversations - on the phone and with those who "just drop by the rectory" - with members of the congregation who call me to see how I'm doing and whether or not they can help. Or, to talk about "what really happened".
My gracious! I don't know how some clergy give six months or even a year's notice. It will have been 10 weeks from the time I announced my resignation to the time I leave town. Suffice it to say, it's been an interesting ride on The Kubler-Ross "Grief Train."
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
Check. Check. Check. Check. And, Check - well, not exactly flat out acceptance. Oh, I'm sure there are many who have accepted and moved on, but not the folk who are contacting me. The delicate balance is not engaging with the person as a member of the congregation but, rather, as an individual person, remaining pastoral and compassionate and redirecting the energy.
Oh, and did I mention that there's a wedding on Saturday? Our youngest daughter's wedding? We're having mani-pedi's on Friday at 4. There's a rehearsal at 6 PM and a rehearsal dinner at 7 PM.
The wedding is Saturday - at around 7:30-ish, or whenever the sun sets and the waning gibbous moon begins to show itself in the heavens.
Ms. Conroy and I are the "Mothers of the Bride". I am also the Officiant at what's called, "A Hand Fasting Ceremony." It's really wonderful. Ancient, in fact. I can't wait to see it all on video.
Oh, wait. Wait. Wait. You thought this was a complaint, right? You thought I was whining about all the work and anxiety.
Absolutely. No. Way.
I have never felt more alive. More connected with the cosmos. More in tune with God. I am, all at once, thoroughly exhausted and positively exhilarated - if that makes any sense at all.
If it doesn't, it's okay. It's exactly the way I fee.
My life - our life - is rich and full and deeply profoundly blessed. We are surrounded by a wonderful, loving family. Some amazing things are happening.
Even more amazing things are about to happen. It's right there. Just around that corner. Or, perhaps, the next. I can feel it. Smell it. Taste it.
I just can't see it right now because my plate is so full.
So, if you'll excuse me, I'll just graze on all this for awhile until some of this begins to disappear and the way forward becomes a little more clear.
Even with the bad stuff and the hassle and the annoyance and the unknowing - the beginnings and endings and beginnings all over again - it's a great time to be alive.
I'm so very, deeply grateful.