See that woman in the picture above? The one in the white coat, holding flowers? In the picture on the left, she's standing next to her radiation team. She is "ringing the bell," and everyone is celebrating that she has finished this round of radiation.
She looks pretty good, right? Happiness can do that to a person, even though radiation has pretty much whipped her butt. All the other symptoms are manageable, but exhaustion? Well, exhaustion is a particular poison to a child of immigrants.
I remember, once, as a young child, being bored on a Saturday afternoon. I had done all my chores, and we didn't own a TV. It was raining outside so I couldn't ride my bike. My girlfriend, Maureen, had a cold, so I couldn't play with her. (Besides, her mother wouldn't let me in her house because I was a "dirty Portugee" but that's another story for another time.)
So, my grandmother looked at me and said, "What's wrong with you?" And I, (stupid, stupid girl) took a long, sad sigh and then said, "There's nothing to do."
"There's Nothing to do?" she said. "There's NOTHING to DOOOO?" "What do you mean, THERE'S NOTHING TO DOOO?"
And then, she fixed that problem right quick. For the next hour, I polished the "claw legs" under her dining room table, took off the knobs on her Victrola Radio and polished those, and then, I starched and ironed all the purificators for the church.
I never said those words again. Indeed, I don't think I've ever thought those words again. Now I think, "Hmm . .. what else needs to be done?"
This exhaustion shall pass. I am learning a new skill. I am pacing myself. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But, I'm learning.
That other picture? Of the woman on the right, ringing the bell? That's a picture of an old dog who is learning new tricks. And, you know, she's not unhappy about it.
She's just happy to be finished with this phase of her treatment. She's also happy because she knows she's got a week to recover before she starts chemotherapy. She's delighted to look forward to feeling more like herself and maybe, just maybe, completing one of the many projects that have been on 'pause'.
It's a good day today. It's a brand new day, today. The page on this chapter of life is waiting to be turned and opened and written upon. It's a great day to be alive. It's a gift to be alive.
And, that would be enough (Dayenu), but there lies the within this day the distinct possibility that I might be able to be part of something good. Something kind. Something noble. Some little thing that will make a small difference on this day in this life for someone.
I am so grateful. And, that gratitude fills me with a sense of joy.
I hope something good happens to you today.
Bom dia.
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