Come in! Come in!

"If you are a dreamer, come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a Hope-er, a Pray-er, a Magic Bean buyer; if you're a pretender, come sit by my fire. For we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!" -- Shel Silverstein

Saturday, October 10, 2009

October 11: National Coming Out Day

It's not easy to come out.

It wasn't 33 years ago when I did it.

I can tell you, from conversations I've had with hundreds of young people, that while it's a bit easier today, it's still Very Hard Work.

These cards are a huge step forward in that process.

And it is a process. It starts with the person saying to himself, "I'm gay." Then, s/he says it to another person. Then, another.

Slowly. Over time. Testing the waters carefully. Until it doesn't matter any more.

It's like pulling the skin off an onion. The layers are very thin. It's often hard to tell one layer from another. There are lots of tears. But when you get to the core, it is firm and sweet.

Please do stay to the end of this video. The last card, and the artist's story, is amazing.

Coming out is not just about the LGBT person. It's also about heterosexual people who need to come out to Truth and Honesty and Love in their hearts.

That's often as difficult for them as it is for LGBT people.

The irony is that, in developing these 'coming out' cards, this artist has also Come Out. He has come out to Truth. He has come out to Honesty. He has come out to Love. In himself.

And, in the process, he's also helping other people - gay and straight - to come out, more and more, to Truth, Honesty and Love.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

May we all come out, more and more, to Truth. To Honesty. And so, to Love.


Göran Koch-Swahne said...

Yes! This one is lovely!

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

I liked this very much. And I have heard it said ;=)

Kirkepiscatoid said...

I get tickled at some of my medical students. Sometimes they "rehearse" coming out to me since I am a "parent-like" figure. For the most part, they have been the, "Oh, I knew that already, but thanks for telling me," types. They always seem a little taken aback that "I sorta knew already." I tell them, "You know, chances are, your folks are going to be this way, too."

The only one I truly feared for was also Mormon. My fears were correct. His parents did NOT handle it well. I SOOOOO wanted to give those parents a piece of my mind, but I backed down. To this day, I wish I had not. But I also realize my chewing their butt out would not have changed their attitude, and decided to pray for them, instead.

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

I posted this to your blog but I don’t know why Blogger is giving me such hell.

But the upshot is, I get tickled b/c almost at least once a year, I have one medical student who “rehearses” their coming out on me.

This didn’t used to happen. I think it is a phenomenon that I am now old enough to be their parents. Most of the time they are absolutely dismayed when I go, “Well...uh...I kind of thought you were gay/lesbian. So I guess I’m not surprised. I’m guessing your folks will tell you the same thing.”

However, I had one student who was Mormon, and I feared the worst...and was right. They cut him off without so much as a “Boo, kiss my ass, goodbye.” I wanted to personally rip his parents a new asshole. But I didn’t. I decided to pray for them instead. Wow, that was hard.

I had another student about two years ago who contacted me and we had a LOOOOOONG phone call. He was my student back about 1998. He is presently in the military. I told him he had two ways to go, and I was not going to tell him what to do. One was to just play the “don’t ask don’t tell” game until his time with the Air Force is over. The other was to fess up and deal with what happened next. I told him, “Either way, you need to talk to the Servicmen’s Legal Defense Network. They know WAY more about this than me, and they have the lawyers that work with don’t ask don’t tell all the time. I just want you to know I will be with you, whatever you decide to do; whichever road you choose, you have my blessing, and I will be in your corner 110%.”

I always tell them, “I’m not your mama, but if I WERE your mama, I would stick up for you like a mama cougar with her babies. And I’ll probably do that anyway. The most important thing in medicine is to always remember patients come first. Whether you are gay or straight doesn’t have jack shit to do with that. But how you feel about yourself does, because you have to be as healthy as you can when you care for the sick. Be as true to yourself as you can be—in EVERYTHING. Not just this.”

Elizabeth Kaeton said...

Oops. That above post was from Kirke. Anybody know what's up with BLOGGER and comments?